Hob-Nobbing with a Judge!

Friday October 25^th.

Peter and the Wolf.

Well this has to be the best ever disappointment I have been to. I have been going on about the music [by Prokofiev] to this story all week with Angela and Peter [niece and nephew] when I have called them. They have even received my copy of the CD of the music to play before they went so they knew some of it before hand. Good old Amazon!

Imagine my shock [and their surprise] when the show and the music were different! Not to mention my Mum’s surprise!

But I get ahead of myself.

Usual walk and swim this morning, then phoned the Big Bro to see what was a foot. Yes, he did tell me it was twelve inches! If I ask him something he can make a joke from he is better to deal with for some reason. Men, eh?

So the plan: Jane was going to meet Mum at Meadowhall at about 1.00pm with Peter and Angela. They would do some retail at Meadowhall and have a spot of lunch, then Jane would zoom back to Leeds and Mum would rendez-vous with YT and the Lollster at the Montgomery Theatre at about 4.00pm. [We snook off University for the last bit of the arvo. The Kids are on half term!]

Sure enough we met Mum and sprogs as arranged. Mum kept telling them how she had taken me to see this in Norwich when I was a little girl [a sign of dementia? Saying the same thing again and again?]. Reading the programme /flyer thingy I could tell we weren’t getting Sergei P after all.

It might not have been Prokofiev but it certainly was brilliant! The story was told with puppets [by The Clydebuilt Company] and they were thoroughly marvellous. Huge, life size jobbies with the puppeteers walking along with them. The wolf was scary and friendly and humorous and deadly all at the same time, even though it was only a puppet! The music was a specially composed piece for the show and I thought it was just as good as Prokofiev’s work. At 9 and 7 Peter and Angela are an ideal age for something like this. I kept glancing across to see how they were enjoying it, they were enraptured by the whole thing.

Even more so after the show when we got to meet the puppets! The person working the duck asked Peter how much he liked it. He was gushing – in the way children are – about how he’d really, really enjoyed it. She then asked him if his Mummy and Granny had enjoyed the show. He told her that she was his granny but that I wasn’t his mummy. He then silenced the section of people by the duck with, “They’re Lesbians!” Duck lady merely said, “That’s nice!” Then started chatting to the next family. I thought Laura was crying at what had just transpired but it turns out she was quietly giggling. They thought the wolf was lovely. He had a good sniff of everybody and allowed the kids to scratch his head!

This company was brilliant. If they tour again with another show, while I have access to little kids to take along, then we’ll have to see them again. Even Mum thought they were magnificent, once she’d got over the shock of it not being what she had taken her youngest daughter to see in Norwich all those years ago.

The plan then was everyone trooped back to ours for dinner. Angela had asked for teatie pater pie, which was what she used to call Meat and Potato Pie when she was tiny, and that was what I has set up on the timer, for our meal. Mum drove up with the kids as Laura and I drove on ahead. The kids were going to spend the night with us and then we were going to drive them back up Horsforth in the morning. [Which is what we did.] Peter had the second bedroom and Angela had the daybed in the study.

When Mum and the kids finally arrived I could see she was fuming, so in a spare moment while Laura was keeping the littlies amused in the lounge I asked her what was wrong [I could guess, actually]. It was my bloody stupid brother. Using terms like lesbian and unnatural in front of his kids. I had to tell her to chill out about him. She knows he is a dinosaur anyway. I said that I thought it was only because I was obviously not a complete lesbian but only loved Laura (and didn’t fancy any other women) that he didn’t hate me and my life style altogether. He had been pleased at the thought of me marrying Richard, it was only when I started doing something which spoiled his metal image of him coming from the perfect family that his prejudices came to the fore! And, to be fair to him, he has always treated Laura with nothing less than the way he has always treated me in my pre-Laura days. I think she saw my point of view but I could tell she wasn’t a happy bunny.

After our meal Loll went off to the restaurant and Mum stayed with me and the kids until it was their bedtime. After I had put them to bed we had another chat about Phil and life and the price of coal. She whizzed off back to Holmesfield before Laura came back and then we had a similar chat about Phil and the kids and life and the price of coal, too!

We decided it was best not to get up to any hanky panky with littlies in the house. This turned out to be a wise decision because at about 2am we found a small girl at the foot of our bed asking to get in and then at about 4pm a little boy did the same! A double bed isn’t big enough for four people, so we made Peter sleep with his head by the footboard at the bottom of the bed. This was a far comfier arrangement, than trying to squeeze four of us in a line. I dread to think what Phil will say when he finds out!

A foot note. I woke up just before six to find Peter stroking my calf. He was fast asleep and was obviously just moving his hand about in his sleep. It felt really weird and oddly reassuring.

Saturday 26^th October.

We delayed swimming for an hour so that the kids could come with us (the first hour is adults only). They had brought their cossies in their little overnight bags [Peter hadn’t brought a toothbrush or toothpaste!] Obviously we didn’t swim lengths today we just had a playful splash about. Say what you want about my brother, but he has made sure they can both swim – I guess that is because he takes them sailing [which was the reason we all learned when we were toddlers, too]. They have a Topper which they sail on the reservoirs near Leeds.

Angela decided to see if she could swim a width of our pool underwater, it is a bigger pool than the one they are used to, and she did it quite easily. So we borrowed the rubber brick and went diving for that. It is so pleasing to see that they are both so at home and relaxed in the water. They bet me that I couldn’t swim a length underwater, so I did, just to show them. In fact I swam down to the shallows turned round and made it almost back to the deep end wall before my breath gave out. Peter had swum alongside me on the surface and Angela walked along the pool edge to make sure I didn’t cheat. As if! I was their hero for about 20 seconds!

I told them about diving in Australia with their Aunt Susannah and Uncle Pete. They seemed a bit wistful about the mention of them. I guess that is only natural. They have never met their Aunt and Uncle, or their three cousins. It’s quite sad really. It isn’t as though Phil cannot afford it either!

After breakfast we drove up to Horsforth and they greeted their Mum with a detailed description of their day away from home! Jane did say where Phil was but it didn’t sink in. Mum had phoned before we arrived and had relayed the “They’re Lesbians!” episode. She was really apologetic but I told her it was fine and not to worry. I have a sneaky feeling that was the real reason Philip had absented himself.

Alison’s party. [Sounds like the title for a play!]

Is there money to be made in Law, or what? Ali’s house is huge. It is just off the Ringinglow Road on the western edge of the city, and has a brilliant set of views in every direction except north. It must easily be worth more than a million! It was like stepping into a parallel universe.

She had invited about 30 people in all, some from the Chambers and some friends, plus a couple of Crown Court Judges! She’d prepared a whole huge salmon and a vast ham on the bone, plus dishes stretching to infinity of salads of various kinds. There wasn’t a half sandwich, vol-au-vent or sausage on a stick anywhere! We were told not to bother bringing any alcohol but it seemed virtually everyone had. I’d brought some Dornfelder which Ali opened immediately as she is a fan of it too.

The music for the evening seemed to be a Mike Oldfield theme. She had loaded an MP3 with seven of his albums and just left it playing. Rather different from out student days when people would fight over what music was being played and remove CDs they didn’t like to replace them with their choice. I loved the one called Incantations. I will have to see if Dad has it in his vast collection.

A surprising thing too, we weren’t the only gays in the village. I was all set to brazen out our lesbianism but it wasn’t necessary, there was a gay guy couple and two more lesbian couples so there wasn’t even a minor worry about it. The girls and I (and Loll) exchanged tales about acceptance and rejection by family and friends and colleagues; they seemed to have experienced virtually the same as we had. It was good to discover that our experiences weren’t unique.

Wandering round after the food I got into a conversation with one of the two Crown Court Judges. He asked what I did at the Chambers, I explained I was in ARR. He went down a complete blind alley, telling me he had heard all about me and the good team I had under me. He was surprised I was so young, he thought I would be older to be in such a senior position. It must’ve been the wine for it took me ages to twig he thought I was Chris Briggs! Once I explained he was amused by the mistake and said he’d just proved the tabloid press stereotype correct, that Judges are silly old duffers! He asked me whether I had ambitions to become Head of ARR one day and I had to launch into an explanation about what I was doing; my PhD and my ultimate goal of becoming a Professor. He seemed impressed that I had my career progression all mapped out before me.

Tim Carr put in an appearance at about 10.30 and did a cartoon style double take when he spotted me across the dining area. We had a long conversation that touched on a large numbers of topics related to me and my Family. I introduced Laura and he said, “So you are the little elf that has stolen Vicki’s heart? I have heard all about you from Vicki’s Dad.” When pressed he wouldn’t elaborate but changed the subject and asked me if I was going to go halves with Dad on the Arran cottage!? How the hell did he know? [Stupid thought, really. They are good friends having being through the same public school and Oxford college together.]

I told him my cost benefit analysis wasn’t favourable. I didn’t want to spend away my savings leaving me nothing for the future. He seemed to think this was an eminently sound reason but wondered why I hadn’t taken Richard’s Trust Fund into account. How much about my bloody life does he know? At this point Ali came up and naturally asked, “Trust Fund?” So he told her that Little Miss J-S, here, was to become a ‘millionairess’ in her fifties if she remained childless or very wealthy if she had any children instead! What a bloody prat! I had to then tell Ali all about Richard and his death and his parents’ court case and the settlement. Why does his friendship with my Dad make him presume he can blab my life story to all and sundry? I think Alison realised that I wasn’t happy and steered him away to meet someone else, saying she’d be back in a minute.

She actually apologised to me for her Boss’s behaviour when she came back. Evidently he is renown, not only for sleeping with some of the staff at work, but also for being the biggest gossip on the planet. When they merged the solicitors’ with the Chambers in the late 1980s they wanted to let the barristers know what they were thinking, to sort of sound them out about the idea. They told Tim all about it and it took less than two days for the head of the Chambers to get back to the Senior Partner at the solicitors!

We mingled with almost everybody at the party and talked about a huge range of subjects. It was no surprise to discover that there were people had been to every cultural event we’d attended since September [apart from Peter and the Wolf] among the mix of guests. No one person had duplicated our attendance pattern though. That must say something about the kind of person I am and they are but I’m not sure what.

We formed a small rump, at about half past one, of the hangers on. So Ali conjured up a pile of toast and some Brussels pate – helped along with some Earl Grey, it went down a treat. After putting the world to rights we wandered off at around 2.15 with the four who were left settling down for a game of Hearts. It being too difficult to explain the rules of bridge to the non-players who remained, despite our attempts.

What a good job there was no work awaiting us!

Sunday 27^th October.

Who pinched the hour? I needed a bit longer, TBH, this morning but Callie doesn’t have a watch and anyway she can only count up to two. [Doggy counting: One, two, lots, more lots!]

After her walk I fell asleep on the lounge sofa, where I might be to this moment, rooted to the spot like an old withered olive tree, were it not for a mischievous, slim blonde “elf” and a feather. The “elf” carefully opened my dressing gown and then unbuttoned my PJ jacket and proceeded to assault my erogenous zones with the feather. Once I was stirred, she removed my remaining pyjamas and went to work lower down. I have to say that a love bump caressed by a feather is unimaginably cringe-worthy and so stimulating at the same time. It certainly gets the juices flowing – literally. I bet she could have inserted a baseball bat I was so ready!

This is Laura’s variation of me sliding myself on to Richard’s morning glories, I think. I have woken up several times surprisingly damp in the nether regions due to a certain young lady’s ministrations! It is wonderful!

We spent a lot of the remains of the morning seeing how inventive we could be. That is all that needs to be said.

No sign of the storm yet, so this arvo we went to Higger Tor and did some walking and scrambling along the edges. There were masses of people out and about probably because the edges are crossed by almost a dozen roads from Sheffield and Chesterfield, so it is no real effort to get there.

Callie had a whale of a time with a spaniel who appeared from nowhere, and about 15 minutes later her breathless owners turned up, glad they had found her. She and Callie were play fighting and doing the charge game. This is where each dog charges at the other and the other has to dodge out of the way. Callie does it a lot. I think that maybe because I played a variation of it with her when she was a wee puppy, using the pooh shifting trowels in our garden. It would hit the two trowels together, making a delightful clang, and then lunge at the puppy. She’d dodge out of the way, obviously, but she’d also chase across the lawn towards me and veer off at the last minute, just out of trowel range!

Dogs just love to play.

I phoned Dad after tea and told him I would be happy to go in with a Static Caravan, especially if it was the ABI Ambleside, with opening French Doors at the front. It’s now his turn to think about it. He sent me some photographs of the pitch. It is right at the front of the site, next to the Kildonan Road, which may be noisy, but it has a huge wall between the pitch and the road plus included in the siting fee is a deck area which extends down the side of the van and then to the front between the wall and the van itself. [Hence the choice of van with French Door!] This deck is high enough to see across the wall when you are seated in a chair on it and the views are stunning. Totally uninterrupted views of Holy Island, The Firth of Clyde and the Scottish coast from The Rhins of Galloway up to Ardrossan. Even better, the wall is high enough that you don’t actually see any cars passing along the road. [OK, maybe the roof of a 4x4, but that’s all!]  

It is now my turn to wait. I have done the maths [with Laura] and it is a very do-able idea. The site doesn’t let out any of the vans and you aren’t allowed to either. Which seems a good idea, to me. Who knows, by this time next week I could be the owner of half a holiday home on Arran?

Still no storm at Dog walk time but the rain was coming down in sheets! I bet they have exaggerated the impact of this weather system to avoid lawsuits!

Cynical? Me?

Yahoo Answers News.
Last week, with 3000+ points I was 31st on the WORLD Weekly leader board.
This week, with 4000+ points I was 29th on the WORLD Weekly leader board!

Rah, Rah and indeed Rah!

[I have discovered a glitch in their system which means I can amass huge numbers of points per week. I'll get back to 72000+ inside a year, you see!]