Mum and Daughter get sozzled again!

Friday 4^th October.

Even darker this morning than yesterday, maybe it had something to do with the deep cloud cover above our heads? I was a solo dog walker this morning but Laura was all ready with the car to whizz off to the pool when Callie and I returned. She really does love driving the Quokka around. Callie has managed to hide her three chew toys underneath the load space protector! I have no idea how she has done it, the silly puppy! I fetched them out for her before I closed the boot and when we came out of the pool she had hidden one again already. Dogs do the silliest things at times.

Laura played chauffeuse into University too. I could really get used to this treatment. We arranged to meet for lunch in one of the eateries on campus. Felice asked if she could tag along. I get a bit worried about Felice at times, in case she blabs about how she and I almost had sex together before we both realised we were making a terrible mistake. Me, because of my overwhelming guilt at betraying Laura and Felice, for not feeling pleasure when we kissed but instead almost a feeling of revulsion! The thing is she has an unpredictable manner and often comes out with the most unexpected things as though she doesn’t understand the consequences of what she says. Perhaps this is simply a characteristic of the French? We have talked about how she mustn’t let Laura know what we nearly did but I still get fretful.

We have made some good progress this week. The document we selected seems to be another inventory but this time of land holdings. We tried to discover whereabouts the places mentioned were but we are running through treacle on this at the moment. That is our focus for start of next week. We’ll be doing an archive search, right up my street! I have only three students left to see for their initial meetings, then we’ll have to play it by ear.

One of the guys is absolutely gorgeous. I mean he is such a good looking bloke I bet the girls will be swooning over him. Well, until he speaks that is. You then discover he is the most arrogant, conceited, self-opinionated little twat I have ever met. No doubt some silly wench will put up with his pompous misogyny because of his looks. I do hope he drops out. Shame really, probably a waste of a good penis there. Although, all his obnoxious demeanour may be used to hide the fact he’s a pinky dick! I cannot remember ever taking a dislike to someone so quickly in my life. He may be a complete nightmare. One of the other tutors was saying he liked to get the students to socialise as a group. Mmmm…. That could be tricky. Would it be possible to accidentally forget to tell him about every group event I arrange?

Laura is as happy as a pig in muck with her new course. She is one of the few women who seem to read numbers the same way I read a book, and everyone on the staff who meet her treat her as though she is really special [well, that’s what she tells me, anyway]. I can vouch for how special she is to me. The only downside of this is I can’t understand a lot of what she’s talking about. Even when she tries to dumb it down to my level, at times I still don’t get it! Arggh!

Mum was busy slaving over a hot stove when we got in, she had brought a leg of lamb and it was roasting gently. It smelled absolutely delicious. She had missed eating it out in Oz as Suze and the girls aren’t happy with eating it, so they never buy it. She’s got a tray of roast veggies on the go too and several pans ready to switch on with veggies to boil too. Callie, apparently, had never been more than a yard away from her all afternoon as she was prepping and then cooking. Dessert was one of my own Lemon Meringue Pies, she’s had to endure the kids going on about Aunt Vic’s LMP while she was out there too, so she brought one I had made for her, which she’d frozen. We opened a bottle of Dornfelder for the occasion, although Loll had only one glass as she was at work for 7pm.

The meal was absolutely scrumptious. There was masses left, so Callie had the veggies with her sup sup at 6.30ish [that’s the time of her evening feed, just as the BBC Radio 4 Evening news finishes] and Mum and I split the remaining meat between us. There will be enough for a meal tomorrow evening, which will be useful as we are off to the Crucible to see “The Winter’s Tale”. That’s Laura and me, not the three of us. I think Mum’s going later in the run – it’s on until November. Loll decided she’d better drive herself down to the restaurant as both Mum and I were probably over the legal limit by 7pm.

When she got back the dipsomaniac Mum & Daughter had almost finished a second bottle of Dornfelder! We had been having a good old reminisce about Australia. The present she had bought us was brilliant. You recall the heart shaped Lapis Lazuli pendants inside a gold setting, which I mentioned previously? [In earlier the blog! Do keep up!] Well, she found the bracelets that went with the hearts. They are small Lapis hearts inside gold settings, about eight of them, round the gold bracelet. They are simply gorgeous. I think any displeasure that may have been forth coming from the Lollster was washed away by the bracelets.

We decided not to open a third bottle as that would definitely give us a sore head for the morning and Laura and I were going climbing with Mike & Angela, from the Uni. Mum was pleased at how clean and tidy my second bedroom was [just because she uses hers as a junk room]. She was out like the proverbial light. Callie and I had a small wobble for our last walk of the night, which she didn’t seem to mind.

Laura was a little miffed that I had got a bit sozzled with my Mum. I don’t think she could imagine getting sozzled with Molly which might have explained her pique. She soon came round when I proved alcohol didn’t impair my performance. [We had to remember not to make too much noise, in case we woke up Mum.]

Saturday 5^th October.

Mum was dead to the world as I took the pup for her first walk. She was still under when Laura and I went off to the pool. We were surprised, therefore, to find her up and frying bacon when we got back! You can’t beat walking into a room where someone is cooking bacon. The smell just sets of the salivation worse than a Pavlovian bell. We had two butties each for breakfast and several cups of sweet tea.

Mum followed me as I drove across to Stanage Edge, where we were meeting Mike and Angela who started their novice climbers group last year. There were masses of freshers who signed up so we have decided to do some Saturday mornings for training. Mum drove on to the Fox House and then Owler Bar which is just a spit from her house. She will have avoided all the town centre traffic this way.

The Uni mini bus was in the car park, so we piled out to meet and greet. You could see the looks on some of the students as Mike introduced them to what they’d be doing this morning:  first Vicki would demonstrate pitch one while Mike narrated the climb; then Angela would climb pitch two while Mike narrated the climb. Then each in turn would attempt pitch one and two.

I love the expression on people’s face when I do the limpet act and clamber up a rock face before them. This was quite amusing though as I had to go slower than I would normally have done as Mike had to explain each move as I did it. It was a tiny pitch really so I was being belayed from below [by Loll] using just a chock and crab up above. At the top I abseiled back down and climbed again at normal speed. Then I made myself fast at the belay point and waited while Angela did the same thing up pitch two, a few yards away.

Once we were both in place we started to assist the students up their first pitches. As Laura had belayed me she was the first climber, and she showed that she was more than a novice by making a safe and swift ascent. They all managed with varying degrees of ease of panic or both and when they had finished they swapped over. This time just to remind them, Mike climbed my pitch and Laura climbed Angela’s.

By 1pm each of them had managed five different pitches and they were feeling pleased with themselves. We relocated to the Fox Hill Inn and would you believe it, bloody Callie got greeted by name! Angela had phoned our lunch orders through as the last climbers were finishing off so we had hardly any time to wait for our meals. I had their Yorkshire pudding filled with beef and veggies. Loll had the lasagne. [I don’t cook with cheese so she often has cheesy meals when we are out to compensate for that lack.] Callie had her usual bag of pistachios and a few surreptitious ones from other customers in the bar.

We meandered back home and had a leisurely time cleaning each other in the shower. Well, we cleaned each other some of the time. Laura wanted to know what The Winter’s Tale was about so I spent a good half an hour explaining the details and telling her how she would find it enchanting. She seemed to think that the statue coming to life would be a bit obvious. [Mathematician’s brain, you see!]

We had a second go at Mum’s lamb for tea and have discovered we’ll have enough for tomorrow’s lunch too, if we can stand it for three days in a row.

The Winter’s Tale was just as entrancing as it’s always been and even Laura was able to admit that, “yes it was obvious but it was lovely too.” [She was referring to the bit where the statue comes to life.] We had an after show snorterino in the bar rather than head out into the city where the bars would be crammed and noisy, plus we’d get hit on by every bloody chancer and his mate – it often happens. So we sat and had a glass of Sauv Blanc in the theatre and we still got bloody hit on by a chancer and his mate!

Bloody patronising pair they were. “So what have you been doing today? Shopping?” Dozy bloody drongo. “Actually, “ this was Laura, “we’ve been out in the Peak District teaching students how to rock climb.”

You could see their little brains couldn’t quite compute this fact. “So why are you here then?” What another cretinous question. “We have been to see The Winter’s Tale.” This was also a surprise, almost as much as the fact we’d been rock climbing. You could see they hadn’t a clue what a theatre was, despite the fact they were sat in the building!

We decided that the intellectual stimulation provided by these two was extremely limited so we got up and left them. I hoped it was a shrewd move as they both had full pints as they came over to our table. I half expected them to come outside after us, but they didn’t – or if they did they didn’t see where we’d gone. We had a giggle at their expense as we drove home. It was their question: “You’ve paid to see Shakespeare? Bloody hell!” That caused the most mirth. What a pair of numbskulls. I do hope they aren’t a representative sample of Sheffield’s manhood. What a pretty sorry example they were.

Sunday 6^th October.

Another promising morning preceded a great day, weather wise.

The clan gathered at Phil and Jane’s for lunch today. Mum wanted to go and see her newly pregnant daughter-in-law and her two other grandchildren. Laura and I were invited too. We didn’t drive together [that’s Mum & us] so we could be flexible about our departure times. Mum watched the CD of Jane’s ultrasound scan. I still can’t see the baby! She is over the moon at P & J’s news. Thankfully, she never says anything to me about me, perhaps, becoming a mother. Good job really as it would probably just make me very upset.

We had a post lunch walk out on the moors above Horsforth [where P & J live] which was quite delightful. It was so warm, you can’t really believe it is actually the beginning of October. Peter and Angela enjoy walking so long as we don’t go too far or too fast. They love throwing things for Callie to retrieve and I had brought her small retrieving dummy just so they could do that. Callie is a great advert for weimaraners [well dogs in general really] as she is so gentle with the kids. She delighted them by fetching the dummy from a pond, which they hadn’t expected her to do. [She loves swimming, but will only swim for a purpose – like working trails or game retrieving.] They threw it in for her several times. I think they loved being showered with dog spray as she shook as much as her fetching dummy for them.

Phil finally twisted my arm enough to let him have a drive of my new car. Laura had been going on about how she loves to drive it so much, so I suppose I had no choice, really. He was quite impressed with it too. Shame he said it in that patronising way of his, as if he expects his little sister not to be able to make good decisions about what he considers “Man Stuff”. He was just the same when I lined and panelled out my cellar. I did most of it on my own, over a few days, and he was so condescending about it I almost hit him. To be fair, he has subsequently praised his feisty kid sister who will get her hands dirty doing mega DIY things which lots of men would baulk at. He has the tale of how I shifted two large skips full of earth and debris when I made the “Battleship Potemkin” Odessa steps up into my garden, as one of his examples of how his sister is a seriously weird person. [I only did that because he had decried the idea as beyond me, and that I should get “some man in” to do it. I did get some man in for the bricklaying, but almost everything else I did. Including being the brickie’s navvy – which meant we got the job done much quicker than he’d expected!]

Mum had brought a memory stick [Wow, techno Mum!] full of Australian photographs which we watched before tea – Mum and I did a running commentary on them. She took quite a lot more than I’d realised of our time together and a hell of a lot of her journey upto Geraldton, Kalbarri and Monkey Mia. She had a couple of me looking very worse for wear after our session in Margaret River. A couple would be very good blackmail material against me as I seemed to be in the process of falling out of bed and losing my PJs at the time! [I can’t even remember that, which is a worry.] There were even some of the Grand Final of the AFL, in Melbourne, which The Dockers lost!

She stayed on after tea but Loll and I zoomed off back to Sunny Sheff for a quiet night in and lots of naughtiness together. Well, you have to, don’t you?