Survival bag sledging during a quiet weekend.

Friday 21^st February.

Dog walk. Early morning swim. Shower.

Work.

Drove to Dad’s after work.

Tried to remember why we were going to Dad’s at all. Couldn’t.

Drove past mountain summits covered with snow realised those are the reason.

Got there at about 4pm. Still light.

Went to Crummock with Dad’s dogs and Callie. Ended up at The Kirkstile.

Had to walk back to the car in the deepening gloom. Dad phoned to ask where we were. He sounded panicked. Ha ha ha. Asked us to bring in Fish Supper for tea. Cheeky bugger.

Planned Saturday excursion if weather good. Sledging. Somewhere over Ennerdale way.

Hit charp at about 11pm completely whacked.

Saturday 22^nd February.

Louisa woke us all with the smell of frying bacon. Mmmmm….. We had obviously been pretty tired as it was coming up to 8am when I stirred from the pit. The usually sound sleeper Laura was already up and in the shower! That is a first really. I am normally the one leaving her asleep in bed.

The bacon devoured, the fell forecast wasn’t promising for snow. With most levels under 600 metres probably being clear. We knew that north facing slopes tend to keep more of their white stuff and in the places where there are gullies the snow lingers longest.

The drive to Ennerdale was not promising, cloudy on the tops and very little snow left too. Still the plan was to clamber up Herdus and see what was available near Floutern tarn and that area. This proved to be a winner. There was a good amount in the northern slope gullies making brilliant survival bag sledging runs. The downside is Dad’s daft dog who tries to get on the survival bag with you. You set of at a run, throw yourself down on the flimsy orange plastic and instead of whooshing at breakneck speed down the gully a bloody chocolate labrador lands on your back and tries to steal your hat!

What was funny at first proved to be tedious in the extreme after a while and we had to take it in turns to be the dog warden but only for the silliest of Dad’s dogs. Mine was fine and the other two of his were very well behaved, too. It was just Moss who decided that joining you on the bag looked like great fun. Where the hell she picked up the idea of snatching your hat from head I’ve no idea.

In the end we attracted a crowd, which for the top of Mosedale is saying something. A couple of younger types (OK they were about my age) decided they would give it a go too.

Feeling suitably sledged out we trooped back down to the Ennerdale Wood car park and scooted to the Shepherd’s Arms Inn at Ennerdale Bridge for lunch. Dad’s treat! We only just made it in time, last food orders were at 2pm and we strolled in at 1.50! Phew.

After lunch we hit Cockermouth and had a stroll round the town, giving the dogs a good wash in the River Cocker at Harris Park. I spend an age in the Linden Tree and was almost forcibly dragged out by an impatient parent! There is always a really nice feel about Cockermouth; it is a civilised place. You get the opposite feel from places like Workington for example. I guess it is the lack of large chain type shops and the plethora of artisan food places and eateries. If I ever relocated, here would be really nice, but so too would Arran, and Lindisfarne, and Barnstaple and…. My list gets bigger and bigger.

The pups dried and snoring in front of Dad’s log burner we had a long sit and proper chat about the caravan on Arran. I am so looking forward to going to stay but that looks like it won’t be until the end of our current semester. Dad is planning a couple of weekend sorties, but leaving his car at Ardrossan and using the bus service on the island. The saving in Ferry costs is huge. We even discussed whether buying a cheap 2^nd hand car to leave permanently at the site would be a feasible idea. It was hit on the head by some serious mathematical input from a slender blonde mathematician who was snuggled up next to me.

The difference in savings on the ferry crossing, according to her, was only going to make a difference if we got the car for free or stole it! Even buying a cheap one, it would still take us years and years to recoup the cost of the car from the ferry savings. I am always stunned when she sits there and recounts a hugely complicated set of figures, which she has calculated in her head, to prove an argument.

We searched the net for a suitable table and chair set for the deck and came up with a round table and matching chairs by Guardman. It is a bit more expensive than the usual but it has a long warranty and looks comfy. Plus, the reviews on the website were universally good or excellent! It was wonderful to think that we’ll be away in our own place on the island in a few weeks’ time. I just can’t wait.

Another relatively early night tonight. It is obviously all the fresh air and exercise doing us in.

Sunday 23^rd February.

Up at the normal time today. (That means very early.) I had walked the dogs up Tallentire Hill and back before 8am. As we were setting off for home after lunch I decided get up and get on with the meal prep. Everything was set to go by 9am apart from the meat (leg of lamb, which didn’t need putting out until about 10am).

I refrained from cooking up a fried breakfast for the simple reason there was no bacon left. We must have wolfed the lot yesterday! I did a series of eggy baps smothered in Tomato sauce and Mayo for me and Loll then Louisa wandered in and she had two, finally the Aged Parent strolled down so I did two more.

We went up to Silloth to walk the dogs along the prom and then across the green. We bought some tea / coffee to go from the local shop and took it up to the pagoda, where Laura and I had chips last month. It was surprisingly fine and clear and we were able to point out all the Scottish points of interest to Louisa. She has never been round that side of the Solway [neither has Laura] so we planned a trip around to Rockcliffe when we are next up at Dad’s

We had put the lamb into the oven before we zoomed off so we made steady progress back along the B5300 looking for signs of storm damage. There was much less than we had expected; it was mainly sand all over the place really.

After lunch Laura and I cried off any further activity and after our meal had settled,  I drove us both back to Sunny Sheff. It was sunny too.  

It was only as we were nearing home I realised Dad still hadn’t given me the surprise from Australia! I am going as doolali as him. Obviously it is nothing perishable or he’d have given it to me already [like he did with the four multi-pack bags of Cherry Ripe – I do love him really].

I wonder how long it will be before we go survival bag sledging again?

Memory Lapses and Remembering Past Lovers.

Monday February 17^th.

Walked Callie and then swam as usual this morning.

Finally got through to Dad as he, and Louisa, was on the early sailing from Arran back to Ardrossan. 

They have loved the van and location. We have chosen an excellent site, as the pitch is in a really sheltered spot away from the any prevailing westerly winds or southerlies. The electrician guy has wired the external water pipes with a heating element triggered when the temperature drops below zero. [It is only in used if the pipes haven’t been drained down, ie when it is occupied – as Dad has left the van for about a month he has done the winter draining. This is something I will have to learn when we go.] The van itself is brilliant. The best bit, according to Dad is the French door opening out on to 

the deck right behind the sea wall. It just needs a table and some chairs to make it perfect.

Dad took across a TV set (32” LCD flat screen job) my contribution is to be a PVR. I have already bought it, a 500Gb Goodmans one which should do the job nicely. I have also bought a Goodmans Mini Hi-fi system to go in there too and have embarked upon burning copies of all my Classical CDs to take. Dad is doing the same with a selection of his Rock CDs.

We have worked out a sleeping order. If we go to Arran together a coin will be tossed for the main bedroom, if we arrive separately it will be first come first served for the main bedroom. That seems fair to me. The second bedroom beds can be pushed together and with a thickish mattress protector it should make a good double bed. I have suggested clamping the two single frames together and tying the mattresses together with webbing, this should stop slippage when the sleepers get amorous [I didn’t say the last bit to Dad].

As we are not letting the van out Dad is thinking of putting a set of waterproofs in there permanently, this is a good idea too, it will save space in the vehicles when we drive up. I have enough sets of gear to donate a set for me and Laura without needing to actually buy anything new.

Today’s meal was one of my mega chillies. It is huge and usually serves us for three meals. I used to make them especially hot for Richard but Laura isn’t a fan of having her head blown off so I have toned down the peppers somewhat. It was prepared mainly on Sunday and then put on the timer in the oven to be fully cooked by 5.30pm. We had a mountain of rice to go with it. Tomorrow we will serve it with baked potatoes and on Wednesday we’ll use tortilla wraps.  This is the first of my mega chillies I’ve done in 2014. I did one for the Scampi Tails last year and they loved it. To give an idea of how big “mega” is; a whole usual sized Chilli actually was enough for 8 women!

The first Scampi’s meeting of 2014 is next Wednesday (26^th) and we are at Ann’s house. The next night will be the first of the monthly quizzes at my local pub so the Tails will be on display two nights in a week next week. There was a reason why they decided to have the meal and go to the quiz but I can’t remember what it was. Often they have chosen to do the quiz as the meal instead of going to someone’s house. (The pub serves two meals for £10 on the monthly quiz night.)

I looked at tickets for Australia tonight and the Business Class, I am after, is still a bit high in price. If I wait until March I may get a better deal. Laura has said she doesn’t mind flying Economy (she has no idea what it is like in economy for 20+ hours) but I insisted we fly B.C. plus I have some points from the frequent flyer scheme to spend too which will bring the cost down slightly.  OK, it is only six flights worth of FF Points but it is better than nothing. Then there is my $5K winnings from Australia to add to the pot. It will soon be costing us as little as economy with all those considerations included. 

Suze is expecting us to stay for at least six weeks; which is brilliant. We have been offered the camper and the children for the two weeks school holidays in August if we wanted them. Naturally we have accepted. It may be a squeeze but we’ll manage. I don’t plan the mega tour of last summer (their winter) we’ll just whizz down to Albany, Augusta, Margaret River and Bunbury. That way we should see whales and dolphins and get some wine tasting in too. Laura has a thing about lighthouses so we’ll pack those in as well. It’ll be a busy two weeks. The camper does have a high level bunk at the front which we’ll have to persuade one of the girls to use. I bet Jill will be up for it, I expect Annabelle will want to sleep cuddling up to Aunty Vic again. If Jeff baulked at three women in the camper last year, I guess four will put him off totally.

As you can probably tell from this entry, today was really a bit of a Radio Stars Day, to be honest.

Tuesday Feb 18^th.

Two part day as usual. First half, University; second half, XXX & Y. Pretty normal really. I spoke to Mrs Briggs about working time off in lieu for the Australia trip this summer, which was agreed with no fuss. Even though I am part time, because I have worked full time for over a year, when I first started, I am entitled to statutory holidays and holiday pay which is always nice to hear.

I met Christopher in the lift and he came out with, “I hear you went for lunch with our superstar ‘Prossie’ last week”!! Where is he coming from? I told him he heard wrong. I felt there was no need to say anymore. I hope I am right.

Laura was at work as usual this evening and I did some more sewing and re-writing of my notes on the Cabinet. I seem to have a whole chunk of translations adrift. I’ll have to check with Feli that she hasn’t borrowed them when I am back in on Thursday. That is the only explanation I can think of for them not being in my wallet file.

Started the gift today which means Loll won’t be far off too. This may mean a sex free weekend in Cumbria which will be a downer. I still can’t get over the fact we are so synchronised now. It is weird.

Wednesday  February 19^th.

Dog walked and swim completed, we had a long cuddle after our shower this morning. I just love it when we do that. The mega chilli looks like it will last three meals as there are still masses of it left. The downside is we have no wraps! I must remember to get some tonight.

Quite a long old day at work as the scanner was playing up for some strange reason. We had to send for the IT guy in the end. That was like a discovery in itself. I have only heard of Darryl in conversation but never met him. He is like a creature from another planet. He speaks in a high pitched tone which makes you think he may be gay [he isn’t] he also seems to conduct most of the conversations he has with other people through himself. He sort of repeats the question you’ve asked him and then tells himself the answer. It is hard to describe properly but it’s definitely strange.

He also makes comments all the way through what he’s doing; saying what he’s doing. But he seems to put little asides into the mix. I am sure I heard him say “Blondie has lovely legs” as he was fiddling in the back of the scanner. I got a bit concerned when I thought I heard “Wonder if they open?” or it might have been “Wonder if it opens?” I started to get quite freaked so I left him to it.

I described him to Laura over dinner (we both bought wraps so now we have a surfeit!) and she has decided the place is stuffed with weirdoes, just look at that girl they have in archives…

I had another major loss this evening. I keep my better needles in a handmade needle case. I made it when I was about fifteen. It is a bit like a cloth book with an embroidered cover and felt leaves into which I store my needles. Well, after Loll had zoomed off to work I could not find the damned thing anywhere. I searched absolutely everywhere, twice.

I sat down and thought of all the places I had been since I last used it on Tuesday and retraced my steps to each room in the house and examined every place it could be and every place it couldn’t. I decided to go through all my pockets of the clothes I had worn yesterday – no good. I even took my ugg boots off and looked in there! The needle case was inside my ugg boot! It had fallen in (I assume) back uppermost and as I had put on a pair of socks before slipping my boots on I must have desensitised my heel so that I didn’t notice it was wedged between by heel and the back of the ugg.

I debated long and hard as to whether to tell Laura when she got back in. I did and she had a major giggle and then went up to the big wardrobe in the front bedroom. She started looking in my boot collection [the long ones, not the ankle boots] I asked her what she was doing and she said looking for my lost papers! I had a mini wrestle with her and we ended up on the bed having rather messy sex. 

Well, I thought it was messy, Laura said she didn’t mind.

Thursday February 20^th.

Missing papers found. Felice did have them after all. We bought a job lot of wallet files when we started the project the snag being they only came in four colours, clear, Black, Red and Blue. We had simply jumbled up our black ones. This lead to one of those Durr Moments when you realise you have been doing something so stupid for ages. We decided we should have two colours each. I would have black and clear and Felice would have Red and Blue. It was such a simple thing to do we couldn’t believe we had been such dozy cows not to have seen it before. A combined IQ which would makes us as clever as Marvin {Hitch-hikers Guide} and yet we could even see the sense of not jumbling up our wallet files. This is one I am definitely not telling anyone else!

I told Feli about the needles and she said there would be a third thing to watch out for. It always happens in threes. (See what I mean about high IQs and silliness?)

We lunched in the refec today and had a stroll along Broomhill afterwards. It is the first time we have been able to do this for ages. The weather has been pretty horrible usually. We looked in the window of the Turkish restaurant where Adi and I’d had our meal. I suggested we should try lunch there one day in the future. It will sort of cover my bases if necessary. Is that being ultra-sneaky? I hope not.

After work we had a whizz across to Holmesfield to see Mum and have tea with her. She dropped me right in it by telling Laura that as a child I was always losing things (funny that, I don’t seem to remember). She described the lost teddy bear (at Grandma’s); the lost tricycle (Dad’s office stairwell); the lost school bag (school bus after Mum was staying late); the lost Knickers (forgotten after swimming). I had to shut her up in the end. It was just so embarrassing.

Confession time: the knickers weren’t lost after swimming. They had been kept as a trophy by the boy I had let be naughty with me; with whom I slept not much later. (This was Ian, the brother of one of my friends from school.)

I dropped Laura off at the restaurant directly then went home to reminisce about my mis-spent youth. Ian and I were both virgins and I was able to persuade him that we should have sex with each other because we had no emotional attachment, so we could learn all about bonking without the tedious falling in love. Hence the losing of my knickers as a sign I was serious. In order to show him I was serious, I had let him touch me and put a finger inside me. He was like a bloody bull at a gate. He had no idea about gentleness or foreplay, he just stuck it straight in after I had removed my knickers. If I hadn’t already introduced myself to my own fingers and various vegetables before this, it could have been quite painful but my extra few month’s experience meant I was already damp and it didn’t hurt as much as it could have. 

For my part I had played with his willy until he came, which didn’t take long at all. (He was dead keen for me to put it in my mouth but I refused until we had arrived at an agreement.) I eventually taught him all about finesse, foreplay and oral sex in the months we had as teenage rabbits before he turned 16 and it became illegal for him to fuck me anymore. We did start again after I turned 16 but it wasn’t the same, so I dumped him. Plus I had my GCSEs coming up and didn’t want distracting.

The thought of Ian lead on to me thinking about all the other guys I had slept with over the years. I don’t think I could have been a subject for a Lars Von Trier film, but it would have been close!

Two Concerts, Valentine's Day and a walk in Peak District.

Friday February 14^th.

Valentine’s Day.

Last Valentine’s Day a guy, to whom I had been writing, after becoming a contact on Yahoo Answers, flew from France to Manchester, zoomed across from there to Sheffield all with the intention of delivering flowers to me for Valentine’s Day.

I had suspected he might be planning something owing to the nature of his e-mail messages so I went incognito for a week. I avoided Y!A and didn’t open my e-mail account. I don’t know what I was expecting to find, maybe he’d bought me something from Amazon or Diamond Geezer or something. I certainly didn’t expect him to have flown to the UK to give me flowers!

I felt so guilty that I hadn’t been there to receive them. He had taken photo’s of his hotel in Sheffield, the bouquet, the spot where he had asked me to meet him; lots of pictures in fact.

The snag was [still is] I didn’t feel anything for him like he obviously felt for me. It is a bit like my relationship with Christopher at work; he is like a love struck puppy, I am Cruella De Ville! The difference with Christopher is he hasn’t fallen for a disembodied person at the end of an e-mail connection or on Yahoo Answers, he has fallen for the real life, flesh and blood, sarcastic little blonde cow at his place of employment.

What Eremey did [I know he won’t mind being mentioned by name] was the most romantic thing that anyone has ever done for me in my short spell of time on the planet. I am not exaggerating! It was truly a gesture of epic proportions and if I had felt the same for him as he felt for me I think we’d have become an item, without a doubt. I did tell him, at the time, that if he did a similar thing for a girl he actually knew in real life he would probably be welcomed unconditionally.  I sincerely hope he has this year. For his sake.

We drifted apart over the following year and now we no longer regularly correspond, this is probably a good thing as Laura moved in with me last September. I occasionally hear from him and if he reads this I just want him to know there is a small corner of my heart reserved for what he tried to do that day in 2013. I am sorry I was such a cow and that my actions spoiled your beautiful gesture and our further correspondence. If you continue to shower a future GF with similar attention and affection you will find true happiness. I hope you do.

Laura knows all about it [I try to have almost no secrets from her] and she says if a guy had done that for her she might have seriously suspended her lesbianism just for him! [Only temporarily, but he would have deserved it.]

This Valentine’s morning I left a card and present on Laura’s bedside cupboard whilst I walked Callie, before our swim. She met me on the way back with a kiss and cuddle and she then bundled me into the car so we weren’t late at the pool. Foolishly I was imagining she had arranged something for me there. 

She hadn’t.

We did our lengths, showered and dried off and rushed back home. She seemed quite anxious and fretful. At 8.10 I found out why. A delivery person rang our doorbell, he was hidden behind a huge bunch of red roses – for me!  The note said, “They were white but I painted every one red because I love you so much!” She knows I love white flowers so this was a lovely thing to say in her note. I started crying and did so for quite a few minutes. Laura joined in too after a bit. I put the roses down and tried to kiss her tears away but she ended up intercepting my mouth with hers and we had a major snog in our conservatory. We broke away and started giggling. I went and found a vase and began to arrange the flowers in it. She came and hugged me from behind and buried her head into the hair at the back of my neck.

“You have made me a different person since we started going out…“ I tried to answer but she put her hand over my mouth. “Shush! Before that I was wandering in a directionless way, feeling helpless about my emotions and despairing of ever finding someone I could love as much as I loved you from afar. When you returned my kiss on Piccadilly Station I was the happiest girl on earth. When you let me sleep in your bed I thought I would just burst with joy. Moving in with you has turned me from being a chrysalis into a butterfly. I love you so much. I can’t imagine what I would be like now if it wasn’t for you!”

I almost said something stupid and sarcastic. I held it back. If Richard had poured out his heart to me like that, I would have replied with my usual sharp tongue as a way of deflecting the emotion. I just couldn’t with Laura.

We drove into work in sunshine, and not just from the sun [which was putting in a rare appearance].

The concert this evening was excellent. The Prokofiev was the ideal thing to hear on Valentine’s Day, apart from the stupidly pointless deaths at the end, of course. The Liszt Piano Concerto was just as it sounds on my old Richter recording, fury and passion directed at the keyboard. It is quite a good accompaniment for the R&J. I have only heard the Bartok once before and I thought we were given an excellent performance though it wasn’t in the same league as the first two pieces.  If I had been planning the programme I would have given us something more lyrical to counterpoint the passion and fury of the first two pieces.

There must’ve been a lot of people out in town as we had to park in car park on Arundel Gate and then brave the howling gale which was whipping through the city. I was going to wear my floaty lace dress but I am glad I went for my blue jersey instead. The lace thing would have billowed beyond control in the wind and may have been impossible to control whereas the jersey was much better behaved. In retrospect trousers of some description would have been a far more sensible option all round!

There was no Mrs Briggs at the concert which was unusual but we did strike up a conversation, over interval drinks [theirs were on the same card as our and we arrived to collect them simultaneously] with a couple celebrating their 30^th wedding anniversary at the concert. We have seen them at a few concerts here before and I think they recognised us by sight too.

Laura told them she thought it was wonderful that they had lasted so long together [or words to that effect]. She hugged my arm and said, “I hope Vicki and I can make it that long too.” I was expecting the eyes to roll into the back of their heads and for them to walk away but they didn’t. The woman asked how long we’d been together and Laura told them 18 months but we moved in together 6 months ago. She also told them I was the best thing that had happened to her. I think I blushed at this point. [I couldn’t help but think the same thing, though. She is the best thing that could have happened to me, too.] I made a joke about it as usual.

I manoeuvred the conversation away from us back to them and asked if they’d any children. They have a two, a boy and girl. The girl is married with two children of her own; the boy is in America and a bit of a drifter really. I think they thought he was a drifter because he had no partner and said he hated the idea of having children ever, too.

I thought this was getting a wee bit too personal so I moved on to the concert instead. They were enjoying it so far and thought that the programme promised to be very good. I mentioned the Beethoven String Quartets we were going to see tomorrow and they were surprised they hadn’t heard of that concert. I had to fill them in with details and they muttered about phoning up to see if there were any tickets, in the morning. While they were at it I also put in a good word for the Firth Hall series of concerts and they’d not heard of those either! I am amazed at how little people actually explore what is going on in their own town or city. I find this at work too. I mention something we are going to and get blank looks or questions like, “Where did you hear about that, then?” We parted on the bell, learning that they would be at the next three City Hall concerts as we. I bet we don’t see them tomorrow though!

I walked Callie in the gale at home after I had changed out of my dress. The wind was whistling around places it oughtn’t to be whistling, so I put some jeans on. Despite the force of the wind, whilst walking her up to Onescare, there was no rain. As if the gods had favoured me especially, I had just locked up the conservatory door, as we got back in, and the hose pipe in the sky was turned on full blast. Phewee Muskey. That could have been us out there getting wet if I had lingered over my drinking chocolate like I was going too. It was only the fact it was far too hot which sent me out at the time I did.

Saturday Feb15th.

It was still really blowy again this morning but no rain. The puddles across Long Lane, though, stretched from one side of the road to the other. A sure sign there has been a deluge. We went to the pool driving through large puddles across the Old Manchester Road too.

We did out 100 as usual and had a chat with Sarah before we left. She was envious of the fact we were going out again tonight. She moaned that she hardly ever goes out anymore. I told her we went out to see stuff because I was brought up doing that and it was second nature to me. Laura just got dragged along whether she liked it or not. She butted in with “Yeah. It’s terrible…!”

I smiled at that because she never used to use sarcasm at all.

We did the boring old, boring old stuff this morning; menu planning, shopping, washing, cleaning. Well, we had a division of labour, I did the washing and cleaning while Laura went and did the shopping. It got her from under my feet for an hour and a half and I was able to whizz round attacking the dirt. Mum says I see dirt where none exists but I know the little buggers are lurking there.

Laura had brought some apple lattice Danish pastries back with her from the shops, which were delicious BTW. So after polishing those off I decided we could have a go at making our own. I defrosted a bag of our homemade apple puree. While that was defrosting I set to and made the pastry. It was at this point I realised we had no cinnamon. Curses! Laura went to Muriel’s, next door, to see if she had any – she didn’t. She then leapt the fence to Julie’s on the other side and came back with some cinnamon held in Julie’s hand!

Laura had invited her round for a cuppa and to watch the great Sheffield Bake Off in action! She really is getting good with this sarkiness. We had a good gossip and caught up with all that had been happening during our sojourn at Dad’s. Julie hadn’t even known about the arson on the opposite hillside, though, which made me wonder just how reliable her gossip was. She did say that Sylvia, who owns the newsagent’s, was thinking of retiring. I told her she had been telling me that since I had moved in. Apparently though, she has had a couple of people round looking at the business with a view to buying it.

My apple cinnamon Danish pastries looked and smelled wonderful. I had glazed them with a honey mixture which gave them a golden glow when they came out of the oven. It was all we could do to resist trying one straight away. I recounted my hot potato incident from January, which made Julie decide not to chance it after all. We put three on a tray and stood them on a table in the conservatory which doesn’t have heating on at the moment, in an attempt to cool them down. Delicious. Different to the ones Laura had bought but just as good.

We almost lost all three though as Callie somehow managed to nuzzle open the kitchen door; it was only Julie shouting “No!” that stopped her thieving the lot! She doesn’t snaffle things very often but she has got form for being an opportunist if temptation is placed in her way. That isn’t anthropomorphism, it is doggy nature [and human nature too, if you think about it].

Tonight’s concert was far more cerebral that last night’s offering from the Halle. The weather was also far more clement. We both wore trousers, though, in case we were going to be caught out by the weather changing on us! I had some chino type things on and Laura wore skinny jeans which made her look slimmer than ever.

The Quartets played were the Opus 18, the 74 [Harp] and the 130. The 130 had die Grosse fuge (Opus 133) finale. The Elias Quartet were excellent and their finale of the 130 just as brilliant as it is on my recording of it. It is so modern sounding, which sounds odd as it was written almost 200 years ago. The Upper Chapel venue was a new one for me but it was a very good, if intimate concert space. We were close enough to watch a bead of perspiration trickle down the viola player’s face at one point!

The drinks couple from last night obviously hadn’t tried to get tickets as there were a few empty spaces around the room. Maybe they were just being very good at hiding their hatred of lesbianism. LOL. The gig was over pretty quickly it seemed and we were back out in Tudor Square amid hordes of youngsters going to get bladdered in the millions of bars in the city centre. We merely behaved like old fogeys and headed for our car and drove back to my little house.

That is the second time since Christmas we have had two things on consecutive nights and then a long lull in between. I will have to have a word with our “Ents Organiser”. Oh, That would be me!  Checking the diary we don’t have back to back items planned as far as I can see. We do have a gap of just a day between two things in May though! We are seeing “Yes”, with my Dad and Louisa on the 7^th of May and then the Moscow Philharmonic Orchestra on the 9^th. I think they are both at the City Hall too!

Had a message on our answer machine from Dad when we got in. He and Louisa were in the van on Arran and it is wonderful. Jealousy rules at the moment. I will phone in the morning for an update!

The moon was just past full tonight, as I walked the “would be Danish pastry thief”, but if anything the light was even better. I didn’t need the torch at all as everything was so clear. The only snag with the place we live is the hilliness [if there is such a word], it would be nice to have an uninterrupted view all round instead of being hemmed in by the geography. I think that may be a metaphor form my life really.

Sunday 16^th February.

I phoned the aged parent three times this morning but his bloody phone was switched off! Grrrr!

We bit the bullet and decided to go for a walk. I wanted to have an all-round view so we drove to Bamford and went up Win Hill. The weather was lovely but the paths up and down the small Marilyn were as boggy as hell [if hell is boggy, that is?]. For such a small height gained I was amazed at how steep the slope was from the dam wall at the foot. The path though could have been negotiated in the dark by a blind man, it was so well defined. Yes, that is a euphemism for seriously eroded!

The summit is a funny shape rather like Pen-y-Ghent but on a smaller scale, being nearly 1000 feet lower. However, as it is a stand-alone peak, albeit with a low ridge running north west to Kinder Scout it has brilliant views, especially to the south.

The northern view takes in Ladybower reservoir and then the path to Alport Castles through Crook Hill where the Scampi Tails were almost crushed to death in a stampede last year. [It’s in the blog somewhere.] This is a very photogenic vista and would have made a wonderful piccie, if I had remembered my camera. My phone’s camera is pathetic in comparison to my SLR but I snapped a few from it anyway. The view to the west was very enticing, taking in Lose Hill [alongside Win Hill, there is obviously a story in these two peaks’ names] and Mam Tor. It looked like there could be a rather good circular walk which takes in both of those tops centred on Castleton. This will call for some research.

I had booked lunch at the Yorkshire Bridge Inn so we scurried down in order to make our 1.30pm time slot. Full Sunday Roast Dinner with all the trimmings. Yummy in our tummies.

After lunch I drove into Bamford village to look at a house that is for sale. It looks pretty nice on the webpage. It’s a stone built, full modernised, detached cottage with two bedrooms, double glazing and gas central heating. I couldn’t quite make it out adequately using street view so we went for a proper look. [I am not thinking of moving but this place looked so nice and it is in the Peak District National Park; it also has a regular train service to Sheffield…]

It is better to see the real thing than rely on web pages. The house is beautiful. It is made from local millstone grit and in the centre of the village but, and it is a big but, there is no garden to speak of at all. It is surrounded on three sides by gravel and one side is someone else’s property altogether. It was disappointing because if it had anything like a decent garden I would have considered putting in an offer for the place. It is a bit further out from Sheffield than where my little house is at the moment but it is right in the middle of glorious walking country and has a very appealing grit stone edge right above the village which has several interesting route along it for climbing. Ah well. It was obviously not meant to be. The asking price £250K is far too much for what is on offer. If I bought it, I would be losing a bedroom, the cellar and a lovely long garden. In this case both the head and the heart say No!

Tried Dad again when we got back in. Still no answer. Unless there is a bad connection on the island for his network, he is heading for slap next weekend when we are up in Cumbria again! When we stayed in Whiting Bay last Easter there was an excellent T-Mobile signal at the cottage which allowed me to use my tablet to surf the net. Knowing Dad his network is some parsimonious one which has the connectivity of an analogue TV signal!

We decided to have an early night after all our strenuous hiking activity this morning and we hit the charp by about 10.45.  I bet tomorrow’s weather is back to being grotty again, still as we are back at work it doesn’t matter does it?

A Radio Stars' Song and advice from a real Escort!

Monday 10^th February.

Whoo hoo! No rain. It stayed dry all day! A wee bit of sun appeared and then went away again as though it was embarrassed to be seen in public. We [ie me and my ex-school friends] have always called the sun Lawrence because of an English teacher we had who kept saying things which we took the wrong way. Whilst studying “Sons & Lovers” she told us the following gem, ”Of course, the Son is Lawrence…” so the name stuck. For a similar reason, but in a History lesson, teapots forever became known as Betties!

On the work, social and interactive front today was a bog standard, interchangeable, nothing unusual or different happened today sort of day.

I walked Callie.

We swam. Ate breakfast. Went to Uni. Had lunch. Came home. Cooked and ate dinner. Laura went to work. I missed her. She came home. I walked Callie again. We got intimate.  We slept.

The same events as usual.

Somewhere in the masses and masses of CDs, LPs and singles Dad has a song called “Nothing Happened Today”. It is very short and I can’t remember who sang it. It is 45 seconds of silliness put on to record.

Ah, flash of lightning hits as I listen to the radio news about the Sochi Winter Olympics. It is a word association thing.

Sochi = Russia.

Russia = There are no Russians in Russia [another of Dad’s records].

There are no Russians in Russia = Radio Stars.

Radio Stars = Nothing Happened Today [Damn All, Not a sausage, Bugger all!]. 

Rah rah rah. The way my brain works sometimes amazes me!

Those are the entire lyrics as far as I can remember them.

Tuesday February 11^th.

Today was almost another Radio Stars song day. Almost…

Although, Dad did phone before we left for work to ask how I had managed for food with virtually none of the tea pot money being spent? I had to admit I had forgotten it was there. I did use the cheque he had left for the kennels but had completely forgotten he always leaves cash for food if I house sit!

The Old Codger then went on to admit he had forgotten something too; he had forgotten to hand over my $5050 winnings from my bet against England in the Ashes series and a couple of small pressies he had bought for Laura and me. I ask you, how rich is that? He calls me to tell me I had forgotten stuff and he is just as bad! I didn’t bite my tongue this time, I told him he shouldn’t be criticising me when he was displaying signs of early onset Alzheimer’s.

Perhaps I should have held back, he sounded a bit hurt when I told him that. So I asked him if he wanted to come down for a few days, he said he would consider it but he might have trouble finding his way down to my house. We finished our convo with me agreeing to go back up to his on the weekend of the 21^st, I don’t think there is anything on our schedule for that weekend and he did say he also had a surprise for me. A surprise as well as the presents? I am intrigued. I bet he’s left it in Australia or something.

Uni in the morning was same as usual. XXX & Y this afternoon was more interesting. The Adriana woman, who is the high class escort we successfully defended once, was in again. I met her in the lift on her way to the summit of Olympus and she said, “We never did have that chat, did we?”

I sort of mumbled my reply, feeling very embarrassed, as the lift was full.

“Meet me for lunch tomorrow at Lokanta. We can talk then. You have from 12.45 to 2.15, don’t you?”

Again I mumbled a reply.

“OK. I’ll see you there, 1pm.” There was no brooking of argument or dissent. I simply agreed!

She stepped out at the fourth floor; I was heading higher, towards the gods, as I had some papers to give to one of the partners. I felt as though my face was absolutely aglow and probably redder than Rudolf’s nose! I delivered the documents with the minimum of fuss, and to avoid a repeat meeting skipped down the stairs instead of taking the lift back to the Archives.

The rest of my afternoon was event free.

Dinner was courtesy of Laura, as usual, and she had done some fresh tuna steaks which were delicious. I missed her again as she shot off to work but muscled down to some serious sewing of my casket embroidery. I have almost finished the first panel.

We had a serious cuddle and hug when she got back and we finally settled for sleep at almost 1am!

Wednesday 12^th February.

I walked Callie.

We both went swimming. Just the same as usual. I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to invent an excuse for not meeting up with Laura but she asked if I’d be really disappointed if we didn’t have lunch, she was going to a meeting arranged for “maths” students interested in following a career as an Actuary. 

My brother became one of these a year ago and I was secretly hoping she wouldn’t attempt to follow a career in the same field as my brother. My face must’ve been a picture because she said, “Don’t worry. I am not going to get involved with anything to do with accounting if I can help it, but the speaker is going to touch on probability and that’s the area I’m hoping to focus on. Plus there’s a free buffet!”

“What’s the probability you could sneak me in for the free buffet?”

“None at all, I am afraid. We had to sign up last week as places were limited and on a first come first served basis. Sorry!”

I feigned disappointment and packed myself a solitary sandwich as a disguise.

The Locanta Meze Bar and Turkish Restaurant is located on Glossop Road, we’ve been past it several times but never gone in before. It is tastefully decorated and looks quite classy really. I could see why Adrianna had chosen this instead of the other places up and down Broomhill. It is only a few minutes’ walk from the office and luckily it wasn’t raining or windy either. She was sitting in the reception area sipping from a glass that looked like it contained white wine. I walked in, she rose to greet me and we air kissed each other on each cheek.

A waiter appeared from nowhere with a menu and asked if I wanted anything to drink. I opted for J2o, as I couldn’t really afford to get woozy at a lunchtime when I had a full afternoon’s work waiting for me. I sat down and examined the menu. I had the Kuzu Kavurma [sautéed lamb]. It was absolutely delicious. For dessert we had a sharing size chocolate soufflé, which would probably have failed the description “sharing” if I had made it. This was also wonderful. 

During the meal we chatted inconsequentially as though getting to know each other [which we were, obviously] and I learned that we shared quite a lot in common. She was a graduate [Fine and Applied art] she had discovered her Escorting later in life. She was single after a failed long term relationship and was just about resigned to being single and childless for the rest of her days. She is 41 although she looks much younger, and has quite a stash from her earnings and wise investments at the start of the dot.com bubble; getting out before it burst.

She then began speaking to me about why I wanted to chat with her. She had spoken with someone at XXX & Y about me, obviously. She also knew I was single and in a Lesbian relationship. She knew about Christopher’s attentions to me and how I had rebuffed him. She assumed that I wasn’t a dyed in the wool, life-long lesbian, but someone who had discovered it later in life. She also though that was why I wanted to talk to her because although I was in a loving stable and committed relationship I still had a longing for cock! My jaw probably hit the table.

Her premise was basically this: women get involved in prostitution for several reasons, the worst reason is financial hardship; the best a love of sex with lots of different partners. There are a whole range of shades of grey in between [pun intended] but the nearer you are to financial reasons the less likely it is you should do it.

She had a sugar daddy through University – several in fact – and she played them off against each other as they vied for her attention, affection and her body. They would take her on holidays, buy her expensive gifts and generally lavish money on her in return for having sex with them. She left Uni in 1993 with an extremely healthy bank balance and no emotional entanglements. Then, a few years later, she fell in love and went head over heels. Their relationship lasted for about 8 years until finally he left her for a younger version of herself.

She then decided to cut her losses with men as an emotional support and potential life partners  and so, as a side line to her work, she began part time escorting [in the evenings] to have no strings sex and also to bolster her bank balance again. She advertised on adult services web pages and charged enough to deter any riff faff [then she was charging £200 per hour, now she charges £400]. She saw maybe one or two clients per week, always reasonably well off men who were happy to pay a lot of money for her services.

Eventually, though she realised she could make as much in a week as she did in a month at work for only a fraction of the hours. She did it all legitimately: making herself a company offering adult services; filing tax returns on her income and generally playing by the financial rules of society if not necessarily by its moral rules. That is where we came in, as a company, she was reported anonymously, to HMRC as a possible tax evader and eventually our firm defended her in court and won her case. The change in the law regarding prostitution made her case stronger and the fact that she had meticulous records of all her financial dealings meant that HMRC’s fishing exercise came to naught.

Her advice was:

a) Check my motives. If all I really wanted was no-strings sex with a variety of different men it was a good way of doing so and earning money in the process.

b) Set up a page on an adult services web page. She recommended something called Adult Work

c) Only ever work with a set number of client per week and always use a hotel for the business never your own home. Travelodge, Days Inn etc are great for this; cheap but clean and anonymous. Always have a cut off time so that you don’t have to spend the night in these places.

d) Charge what you think may be too much. She advised £250 per hour at first. It really does deter the hoi polloi.

e) Always make advance booking a few days ahead of time. That way you can see more than one client per session and make sure your hotel expenses are covered. Never book a hotel before you have at least one booking.

g) Register with a sexual health clinic, explain your profession and arrange regular sexual health check-ups. This is vital.

h) Have definite no go areas. Personal Hygiene for example. No unprotected sex. No swallowing of semen. No two client or group client bookings. Make sure you have a set of standards that are clearly spelled out on the web page before you see any client. Always be immaculate yourself.

i) Get a completely independent mobile phone which is used only for this work and nothing else, ever.

j) If you are keeping this activity secret never put photographs of your face on the web page and never tell your partner, BF, Husband what you are doing. If you are in a relationship remember to stay consistent in your behaviour, personal hygiene, dress style as possible.

k) Be professional, polite and courteous. But be firm about what you will and will not do. Do not be coerced or bribed into doing anything you don’t want to. Offer the client alcohol but never have any yourself.

l) Wear immaculate clothing and sexy underwear. Nothing dirty, old,  torn or tacky. Take care with your make up but don’t overdo it.

I jotted notes down as she was speaking, I have expanded them here.

We chatted on inconsequentially for a while after our “business” was concluded and we left together. She headed off to the car park where she had left her car I wandered slowly back to XXX & Y pondering what we had discussed.

She made it all sound so easy and clinical. It couldn’t really be that simple could it? I know one thing for sure it has definitely put me in two minds about continuing down this line. Before I met with her it was only a vague idea in the back of my head, now I can see exactly how it would work and how I could physically do it. The real question is: is it a betrayal of all that Laura and I have made in the few months we’ve been together? I actually think it really is a betrayal. So far it is all in the mind. Taking the next step is the hurdle I may baulk at.

Adrianna said I had to call her once I had got started and let her know how I was doing. I don’t think I’ll be making that call anytime soon.

My work afternoon was quite a lot different as I sat there and tried to imagine entertaining a whole series of men whose sole purpose for meeting me was to fuck me. I have been a bit of a wild child in the past but this was something I would have criticised to high heaven if anyone had suggested it back then.  This got me thinking about the significant men in my life and our sex together. I got so worked up thinking about Richard I claimed I had to visit the basement archive and look something up…  …I spent over twenty minutes in the ladies reminding myself about Richard again! I have never ever done that at work before. Afterwards I felt a little bit guilty and ashamed but I knew that Richard’s reaction would have been the total opposite of those two emotions!

It is a good job the basement loos are so under used! LOL

There was an amazing sky this evening; cloudless [more or less] and with a really bright, almost full moon. It was so clear I didn’t need to turn on my torch. It was still quite blowy though, which is probably the reason there were so few clouds to obscure the moon. Obviously the day’s rain had had an effect though as the football match at Bramall Lane had been called off again – another waterlogged pitch. How many waterlogged pitches do they want?

When I got back Laura asked me if I had a gone a different route with the pup tonight. I asked her why and she said because she couldn’t see my torch along Onesacre Road! She looks out for me when I walk the dog. 

Isn’t that sweet? [It made me want to cry when I reflected on where I had been this lunchtime!]

Thursday 13^th February.

Jesus H Christ! The wind.

We were woken at about 3am by a bloody loud banging from the back garden. Wandering downstairs and turning on the security light I saw it was the dog kennel dog flapping about in the gale which was whipping down the hill. I went out to stop the banging and discovered the lock thing had broken. I made a temporary fix by wheeling the bin round to block the door. It is a good thing it hadn’t been emptied yet as it would have been too light to do any good if it was empty.

The wind had eased considerably when Callie woke me up for her walk. We left the wheelie bin in place until after I’d walked the woof and we’d been for our swim.

While Laura rustled up breakfast I went to examine the door. The hasp which held the bolt in place had come off leaving the bolt with nothing to close on to. Luckily it had only fallen a short way from the shed. I went to the cellar and fetched the tool kit. I have some large washers and some nuts and bolts in there. I reattached the hasp with a pair of bolt and put two huge washers on the inside of the shed; if it wants to unattach itself again it will have to pull two 1” washers through the side. I had bored through the shed with a bradawl rather than using a drill and I was done in less than five minutes. The nuts I used are locking nuts so I think there may have been a slight element of over kill in my repair! I am Miss DIY of South Yorkshire!

University went pretty much as usual.

Laura and I had lunch in the refec and she told me more about yesterday’s talk. We were a bit rushed last night because of my late day at work and then her being at Dominic’s. She is of the opinion that being an Actuary would be relatively interesting but not as much as the field of probability which she is considering. She has seen the sort of job she’d like to do when she graduates, there is one going at King’s College London: it involves Number Theory and Probability Theory and Programming , the salary starts at £31K. Phew. She knows that particular job won’t be there by the time she graduates but at least she has seen that something along those lines is out there. I hope she doesn’t find one that is too far away from Sheffield, though. That could present problems. I won’t dwell on anything like that at the minute. She has 18 months before she graduates which will give us time to work out a Modus Vivendi.

Once again she was at Dominic’s tonight. I drove her down and went to collect her afterwards. This gave me a chance to talk to Dominic who has already run out of the German wine Dad brought back. I suppose it has been nearly two months since Dad brought him four cases. He wanted to buy any I had left, which I refused – naturally, but I promised to phone Hilmar or Akki tomorrow to see if we could do anything for him. It is a bit bloody presumptuous of him I think but I will definitely phone and see what the likelihood is.

We both walked Callie for her the last walk of the day and then shared a shower before bed time. The sky was even clearer than last night; the moon was totally full, rather than yesterday’s gibbous version. It was so bright and the shadows it created so deep you could count the number of tentacles dangling from my silly hat in my shadow. 

We made shadows of two people kissing too. We made quite a lot of those actually. Laura wondered if her erect nipples would show bulging through her t-shirt in a moon shadow, so she opened her jacket and stood in profile. Her nipples were really visible to my eyes a few feet away, they were just about discernible on her shadow, too. She didn’t stay like that for long, just long enough for the shadow of a hand to appear and start caressing those naughty little items.

We returned home to see how well the shadow images matched reality. I think this is an experiment we will have to repeat again and again!

Vicky's airport taxi service. [My brother so owes me for this....]

Friday 7^th February.

We both walked Callie this morning; it was really cute walking arm in arm down the lane through Onesacre. I think Callie was surprised to have two mistresses with her this morning, even though she does absolutely nothing Laura tells her [which I think is quite funny but Laura thinks is so annoying].

We did the obligatory 100 lengths of the pool and had the usual gossip with Sarah who is usually the fount of all local gossip. I asked her if there had been any more news on the arson and she was embarrassed to admit that well had dried up. This has fuelled speculation in the village that it was an inside job, done for the insurance money. Where do people get their ideas from?

We zoomed off a bit earlier to Uni as we were leaving a bit early too. I had planned to getaway at 12 noon and that is exactly what we did. Even stopping to pick up Callie meant we were at Dad’s by 3pm. We unloaded our stuff, leapt into Dad’s car and went to collect his wolf pack. They were excited to see Laura and me but even more excited to meet up with their chum Callie. In order to run off some of their excess energy I drove from Aspatria down onto the Allonby foreshore. The B5300 was reopened but we didn’t drive to Dubmill Point, we parked up in the north end car park [where the toilet block used to be] and walked along the beach up to where the old wooden jetty that used to stick out from Dubmill Point can still be seen poking out from the sand.

The road and concrete wall didn’t seem too badly damaged at all from the beach side, there was hardly any sand there though, and it is usually heaped up along the concrete. There were yellow flashing lights and some machinery was obviously doing something along the road by the farmhouse but it was invisible from the beach.

The dogs chased about like idiots for a while and then settled into a steady stroll alongside us as we battled the head wind back to the car. We decided to have our meal at the Horse and Jockey in Parsonby rather than cook something. It was very tasty [I had ham and eggs] but the prices have certainly gone up since the new couple took over. Still, the place is a hell of a lot cleaner than before which can’t be a bad thing.

My new found taste for beer didn’t extend to the bog standard selection on the bar and so we had a mini bottle of wine each with the meal. I am sorry to have to admit I succumbed to a chocolate dessert [hot choc fudge cake with ice cream] whilst the Lollster had apple pie and custard. I think I am allowed an indulgence what with all the walking and swimming I do. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

I called Phil, when we were settled back at Dad's, to just remind him that he owed me big time for doing what he'd volunteered to do. He tried to play the expectant father ploy again but I told him that it was so much bullshit and his card was now well and truly marked. I hadn't meant to be so unpleasant down the phone to him but he sounded so smarmy and greasy when he answered I became rather combative instead. Some times my brother can be a complete GIT!

We slumped on Dad’s larger sofa and snuggled up watching a DVD film – Amelie, one of my favourites. Laura hadn’t seen it before. She thought it was delightful. I am so pleased. I don’t think I could have borne it if she’d hated it.

The dogs had a final stroll to half way up Tall Hill and I returned to find Laura gently snoring on the sofa. When I shook her shoulder to rouse her for bed she suddenly blurted out, “Marshmallows!” We had a fit of the giggles wondering what on earth she meant by it. She claims she has no idea. It was very silly though.

Saturday Feb 8^th.

We were up with the larks, actually that is a lie, I was up before the larks walking the dogs and then we piled into Dad’s big Citroen for the drive to collect the Aged Parent and the Wicked Step-Mum from Glasgow airport. [She isn’t wicked at all. In fact we get on quite well, really.] Luckily the ring road round Carlisle was almost empty and there were no weather incidents to hold us up on the M74. We had decided to wait until we got to the airport before we had breakfast but my stomach was feeling extremely rebellious with every motorway service area we passed.

I ignored the gurgling noises from under my seat belt and ploughed on regardless. We parked up and because we were starving we had a cursory glance at the arrival board before heading to the food section for two bacon butties. [That was just for me!] Their plane was ahead of time so we barely had time to scoff our brekkers before heading down to arrivals. In what couldn’t have been orchestrated better by an Olympic Opening Ceremony Planner [note my ultra-topical reference! Oh please yourselves…], we had been there under 10 minutes before the happy travellers arrived. They wanted something to eat! So we trooped back to the cafeteria where I had a cherry scone and the AP and WS-M had more bacon butties! Laura had a toasted tea cake but asked the woman for a “teasted toe cake” which caused a great deal of mirth.

Dad said he was happy for me to drive them back [cheeky bugger] so I religiously followed the speed limit all the way to Carlisle which meant we were a little longer getting home than usual but what the heck. It didn’t matter to either of the back seat passengers, we had not quite hit the M74 before they were fast asleep.

Back at Dad’s we discussed what we would have for tea and the consensus was we’d have a take away Chinese meal. There is a local firm which delivers to Dad’s village so that took care of any mucking about with food prep and cooking of the same. The happy travellers went of for a shower and a snooze and the Lollster and I took the dogs to Cockermouth for a walk around Harris Park and to get the newspapers, which we had forgotten completely at the airport!

The River Cocker seemed very high as is rushed to join the Derwent but on past the confluence the new anti-flood measures seemed to be spiriting any excess water away from the town. The dogs are quite well behaved on their leads through town but there is always someone stops and wants to talk with me [us] about them. Usually it is someone who knows Dad. This afternoon was no exception.

“Those look like John’s dogs” Said this oldish guy I had not met or didn’t remember.

“They are. I am walking them for him and getting our newspaper.”

“Ah, so you must be Victoria, then… I have heard about you.”

That didn’t sound too good but he didn’t elaborate. ”Tell him Harry said Hello, will you?”

With that he walked off. I thought it was a little strange that he didn’t want to stop and gossip any further. Usually Dad’s cronies stop and chew the fat for hours and hours and I have to make my excuses to get away.

When we got back and I had finished the Times Jumbo crossword the Aged parent put in an appearance looking dishevelled and smelling of soap and talcum powder. I mentioned Harry to Dad and was greeted with a blank look. I described in minute detail what had transpired and Laura put in a description of what he was wearing, as if that may jog Dad’s memory. It didn’t. So we are still no wiser as to whom this Harry person is, but he knew Dad was called John and I was Victoria, how weird! Plus he recognised the dogs.

We moved on to more pressing matters and Dad & Louisa perused the takeaway menu while I opened a bottle of Spatburgunder ready to drink with the meal. Dad phoned our order through and we sat and waited with our glasses primed. The meal hadn’t arrived by the time we’d drained the first bottle, so Dad went and opened another, Rulander this time. Rulander must’ve made the delivery chap speed up because we hadn’t got any poured when he arrived.

There were absolutely masses of food and we made a sterling effort to demolish as much of it as we could. There was a little left to slip to the pups with their dinner but on the whole we’d done a thorough job of clearing it away. We added a third bottle to the list as we sat down in the main lounge for a post repast rest. Portugeiser Weissherbst. By eleven we had added an empty Dornfelder and Riesling bottle to the pile. I knew I was worse for wear by now, so I grabbed my coat and strolled the dogs in an effort to clear my head before hitting the charp. It sort of helped, I think, but was undone by Dad slipping me a glass of Kummel when I came in from hanging up my coat and wiping the dogs paws.

Laura was abed when I crashed through the bedroom door. She didn’t wake at my banging about or when I flopped onto the bed rather tipsily. When I turned the light off I could see Callie on her beanseat giving me one of those disparaging doggy looks! Even my dog is a critic!

Sunday February 9^th.

Mmmm… felt rather more fragile than I had expected this morning, maybe I had drunk the lion’s share of the wine yesterday after all. Once I had a hearty breakfast nestling in my tum I felt right as rain and because it looked like there may be chance of a stroll in the fells I awoke my beloved with a bacon butty and the offer of a walk in Borrowdale.

The walk didn’t quite go as planned. The road into Borrowdale was closed! I asked a person at the Lakeside car park, where we eventually pitched up, about it and was told that the road had collapsed into the lake and was being repaired from tomorrow! Wow! That was a surprise. I have been focusing my attention on Somerset and the Cumbrian coast and hadn’t even considered the Lakes themselves. We paid up for the parking and caught the anti-clockwise ferry to Hawse End. This was quite tricky with four large dogs in tow! From Hawse End we strolled along the lake shore towards Shepherd’s Crag; to say it was bit wet is to underestimate the word wet.

The fells around had a huge covering of snow with the snow line at about 600metres I would guess. It looked like any walk at high level would need an ice axe and crampons. I know what I am doing with those items of kit but Laura has never used them at all. Better to stay low and safe than risk injury or worse by going higher.

The Chinese Bridge section was a challenge, to say the least! Luckily, the S.C. café was open and we had a huge pot of tea and some try bake cake. It was a plum crumble, piping hot and smothered in custard. 

Delicious.

We strolled back to Keswick, or rather paddled [!] and saw the bit of the road where the piece had subsided. It looks like it will be a tricky job to repair. I guess Grange will be quite busy traffic wise for a while as the road through Portinscale, past Swinside and into Grange, is the only route from Keswick to Borrowdale. You could drive over Honister Pass, I suppose but that is quite a steep climb.

Going round the Lake isn’t too far to walk, but it is if you are planning to drive back to Sheffield later in the day. We made it back to Dad’s in time for a late lunch – a leg of pork. We then decided to have a kip so we didn’t fall asleep on the drive home. It was a good job I set my alarm clock because at 6pm every person and all four dogs in the house were fast asleep! We had packed the Quokka before we took the pups to Borrowdale, in Dad’s Land Rover, so all we had to do was wake up and pile into the car for the drive home. Sadly, we had to drive in the dark but the weather was still pretty kind. We 

made good time, going by the A66 and A1 again, getting home in just under three hours.

I took Callie for her walk while Laura prepared a nightcap. She was asleep in the reclining chair when I got back in, with her cup balanced on her tummy! I gently took it from her grasp and woke her up so she could go to bed. I dread to think what a mess she’d have caused if she had moved in the chair with a full cup of drinking chocolate perched precariously like that! We were so tired we didn’t even make love! Just kissed and cuddled and fell asleep.

I should have known better. I have done this before, I seem to remember. I almost fell asleep at the wheel and Laura took over the final stretch of driving. Luckily this time the drive was fine but it was a bit like Russian roulette driving down after a full size walk on the same day!

Existential separation angst? [More naughtiness!]

Monday February 3^rd

We had a sunrise this morning! Rah rah rah! That long absent, round, sunny thing came up at about 7.50 over the distant Grenoside slope, long after I’d walked the dog and Laura and I had been swimming. I was beginning to think that bright yellow disc was never going to put in an appearance again. Stupidly I commented on it turning up to Laura and it promptly disappeared for most of the morning! I will have to keep my gob shut in future!

Dad Skyped me this morning [our time] to confirm the details of his and Louisa’s return flight which gets in early on Saturday morning. I have arranged to collect them both because I am a dutiful daughter, cough, cough! Laura and I are going to be driving up to Dad’s on Friday lunchtime and are collecting his dogs from the kennel that afternoon, then we’ll zoom up to Glasgow at a sensible time on Saturday morning as they are unlikely to clear baggage reclaim and customs  much before 10.30. We have done the journey so frequently in the last couple of years we could probably do it blindfold. We’ll just have to hope there is no snow on the route, which would put a huge spanner in the works.

Laura and I went walkabout in the city centre at lunchtime and then snuck off early at the end of the day. It was a short lived victory though as she is putting in four nights at the restaurant this week, so I had to be a lonely little creature from 6.45 ish to just after 11. I don’t begrudge Laura having the job I just hadn’t realised exactly how much time she would be away from me. When we lived apart I was quite used to spending my evenings alone but since she has moved in I get lonesome when she isn’t here. I know it’s pathetic, isn’t it?

Tuesday February 4^th.

Another dog walk and swim followed by a sunrise. Once again the sun put in the briefest of appearances before disappearing behind a huge bank of clouds to remain there all day! Work today was a two halver as usual, Uni in the morning XXX & Y in the afternoon. Mrs Briggs and I chatted about A Midsummer Night’s Dream for a while before I went back to my digitising of our records. It does seem to be a Sisyphean task. At least I don’t get my liver pecked out every day!

Laura cooked tea, which was lovely and we had a few minutes together but then I was left being a lonesome bunny again. I don’t know why I am suddenly finding it so upsetting when she goes? I was fine before the Christmas holidays with it, what has changed I have no idea. I wish I could get over the stupid feeling. It is not good at all. I sat and did some more stitching for my casket embroidery which is growing fairly slowly but steadily. If it ends up looking like the Bourne Cabinet upon which it is based, it will be exquisite!

We were very affectionate when Laura got back this evening which sort of made up for the hollow feeling I had while she was at work. I will have to talk to her about it. Maybe she has some idea what is going on with me.

Wednesday 5^th February.

For the third day running we had a sunrise and today, unlike the previous days, we kept the sun until about 1pm! Whoopie Doo! I spoke with Mum this morning [from work] and she thinks I could have early onset of Adult Separation Anxiety. It can be common with people who have OCD, according to her. I think she was talking a load of psychobabble to be honest but she has given me a website when I can do a self-diagnostic test to see if I am likely to have it.

After lunch I did the test.

I don’t have it.

Well, at least not according to the test on the website. I am none the wiser for sitting and doing that stupid test. I don’t appear to display any of the signs that are common with people suffering from ASA. So I just am missing being with my gorgeous girl.

I spoke to Laura during our meal this evening and she was touched that I feel lonely when she isn't there. She confessed to feeling very depressed when I was in Australia last summer; despite our regular contact she missed me so much. I know she had said that she missed me but I had no idea it was making her depressed. We weren't even living together then, we were just conducting our long distance relationship between Sheffield and Lancaster [until I went off to my sister’s for the summer]. She thinks 

I have started to feel like this because we do virtually everything together at a weekend and not much during week day nights. This is true but it was her choice to get a job in a restaurant for the week nights so we could do loads together on the weekend.

I am just being a wuss. I am sure that’s all it is.

Felice phoned after Laura had gone to Dominic’s and I told her all about my feelings of loneliness. She told me that it was a sign of two possible things for sure: I was deeply and definitely, 100% in love or I was pregnant!

Pregnant!

I almost choked on my cup of tea when she said that, it was the last thing I was expecting to hear. We had a good giggle about it and I worked out how long the last sperm that had been in my body would’ve had to survive in order for me to be pregnant. I was able to tell her that it was a good 17 months since and even then it would have to find its way from my stomach to my uterus as I had swallowed Alan’s gift during that consolation f*ck, when I dumped him. That brought about more giggles.

Felice was appalled at the news and said she is always a spitter; so I told her about Richard and me experimenting with different foods for months to see if it would affect the taste of his semen. To those of a scientific mind it was done extremely methodically and with quite accurate recording of both the food ingested and the taste of the semen after he’d eaten that food for a fortnight. There was no discernable change as far as I could tell. Felice said it would be an idea to change my PhD topic to discovering whether the flavour of semen was altered by a guy’s diet. I said there would be no end of guys wanting to help with the research.

Her call really cheered me up and also made me remember all those mad, wild and utterly over-sexed times I had with Richard. I think I am getting equally as much sex with Laura but of a different kind and I have never had so many orgasms since she and I started making love, that is for sure.

When the Lollster came in from work I pinned her against the kitchen wall and snogged and fumbled with her important little places before she had even removed her coat. We ended up having a trash on the kitchen floor and then moved to the comfort of the sofa where we played with our toys for quite a while.

Laura was really breathless and a little sore when we’d finished but she told me I could do that again anytime I wanted! I told her I thought it might be a cure for my loneliness, she agreed that it was a great cure but I would have to be careful not to break my fingers!

When I got back from walking Callie and having my shower she had a surprise for me, she had been reading about deep penetration on the internet and wanted to see if she could get her hand inside me!

OMG. IT IS amazing. I mean seriously mind blowingly amazing. I am going to have to try with her when she is less sore!

Thursday February 6^th.

Maybe there was too much information in yesterday’s journal entry. Still WTF, as they say, life is what we are living and sex is part of life.

Also part of life [our my life – and now Laura’s] is going to live events, I spent a while this morning updating our appointments diary [it lives by the telephone] and we have got 14 different things scheduled to go and see between Valentine’s Day and May 5^th: Classical Music; Rock Music; An Opera; a ballet and several plays. They are mainly in Sheffield but one is in Lincoln, one in Nottingham, one in Carlisle and one in London. I have spent a small fortune on tickets to these events but, I haven’t even noticed it as my salary doubled since last year. I do seem to have a lot of cash left over at the end of every month but I simply transfer that to my instant savings account.

We had a Department meeting today which was about as interesting as watching grass grow. Again! I do know what these things are like, by now, but I still can’t believe how much talking gets done to so little effect. Arrrggghhh! I would have gnawed my leg off in sheer desperation or boredom or both; if one of the lecturers’ rather unfortunate hairpieces hadn’t started to slip and I tried to film it, discretely, on my mobile phone! I think it was a complete waste of 90 minutes. I mean if I seriously want to waste that length of time on a totally pointless activity I could go and watch a football match! LOL.

It was almost a relief to see a couple of my ‘mentees’ waiting outside the broom cupboard until they landed me with a whole litany of worries and complaints and just hot air about the guy who had dropped out at the start of the semester. He has left a few of them in the lurch financially and has got another’s entire notes from the previous semester! What the hell they expected me to do about it I have no idea. I did promise to make the right noises to the welfare section of admin but I don’t hold out much hope. I also said I would contact the guy’s parents about the missing notes. Like he’ll be all that bothered. Why do people lead such stupidly messy lives? I don’t suppose I am one to talk, my own life might seems a bit all over the place to an outsider I would guess.

We went and had a Thali for lunch at the nearest Indian restaurant to the Uni, which also happens to a brilliant Thali set lunch for silly money. I don’t know why more Indian restaurants don’t serve this kind of meal. The only downside is I get curry flavoured burps all afternoon!

I was much happier about Laura being at work this evening. I suppose I am being selfish and jealous and possessive after all. I sometimes just look at her and wonder what will happen when she finishes her degree. Will she find a job in Sheffield / South Yorkshire? Will she have to move away for a job? I know I am borrowing trouble but I suppose at the heart of my worry about being lonesome without her is this irrational fear of losing her. Until I lost Richard I was the one who always ended any relationship I had been in. My reaction to Richard was extreme because of the circumstances of his loss, I don’t want to go through anything, even vaguely, like that again I guess.

We had a long snuggly cuddle in bed, when she got back from work. No sex, just me hugging her and hugging her and hugging her until the sound of her soft breathing told me she was asleep. I fell asleep still holding her. At two am I woke up and we were still in the same position, so I turned her over and let her lay flat. She shuffled back over on to her side and spooned me, still asleep! I held her hand and pressed it against my heart.  

The 'Culture Vulturess' strikes again! [Twice!] Shock Horror - I drink beer!

Friday 31^st January.

Well radio news, tell us something we didn’t know! This January has been the wettest since the UK started keeping weather statistics! Whoopy Doo! I bet that the dimmest of the dim could have told you that. Even in my relatively short time on the planet I have never experience this amount of rain, ever! [Not that I am saying I am dim, you understand?]

OK, I spent most of my childhood in Norwich which doesn’t really know what rain is compared to the rest of the UK but even so I am aware of how our weather patterns have been changing. I feel ashamed to say that I even have to agree with our future monarch who has recently been decrying all these climate change deniers. Good on you, Charlie, stick the Royal boot in! I do not know who is worse to be honest, those who deny climate change is real or those who believe creationism is true. I guess the religious nuts aren’t going to cause as much actual harm to the planet as the deniers might.

I took the dog for her early morning swim around the country lanes of the village before Laura and I went for our swim in the local pool. The numbers there were quite a bit lower this morning. Sarah had predicted they would fall off by the end of the month and she was right. [She also believes in climate change, so she is one of the good guys!]

We whizzed into Uni a bit earlier than usual so I could catch up with some form filling I needed to complete about my mentoring activities. I forgot to do it on Monday so I am catching up. Felice and I then sat in on a lecture by our supervisor which was very interesting and quite illuminating as regards her lecturing style. It was not all whizz bang, flash and sparkle; it was more dour and conservative. Yes, she delivered her facts and details interestingly enough but it could have been so much better. I am not going to view her through my rose tinted spectacles any more. In fact if I ever do rise to the dizzy heights of lecturer I know I will wow everyone’s socks off in the lecture hall.

Lunch was sans Mrs Briggs today; back to normal then. Although we knew we’d probably bump into her later at the City Hall. [We did.] We were joined by Mandy and her new BF who seems a bit of a drip to be honest. Still, if he makes her happy who am I to complain? Felice flirted with him like billyo for a while which was kind of embarrassing for everyone, except her. She left half way through lunch though, having taken a mysterious phone call that “Needed attending to!”

I tried to make a joke about how Feli was different to the usual run of the mill post graduate because she was French and therefore had an agenda which was so unlike ours. I am not sure they bought it, I didn’t and I was spouting the theory!

After Uni we zoomed home to get our meal and change for the evening. The latter was a bit tricky as we wanted to look our best and still avoid getting what we were wearing ruined by the weather. As there is not much immediate parking near the City Hall, we had to be prepared for a longish walk to the venue in what could have been dreadful weather. In the end common sense won and we went for jeans and sensible shoes. This proved so right. All the parking on Division Street and Carver lane were full and we had to settle for the Multi-Storey job in Charter Square – a quarter of a mile, uphill walk in driving rain. Luckily a stockman’s coat and jeans are a useful combo and we didn’t get wet at all. An umbrella in the wind that was howling down the streets would have been useless.

There was a queue for the cloakroom as people wanted to hang their sodden coats up rather than take them into the auditorium and then there was an even bigger queue for the bar. We bought our wine and ordered interval drinks and were accosted by Mrs Briggs and partner who had been there quite a while as they wanted to park on the Holly Lane car park and so were there at 6pm! We partook of idle gossip and chat until the bell rang and we wandered our spate ways to our seats.

The concert: The Halle are one of my favourite orchestras,  I was a bit disappointed that they weren’t using their principal conductor Sir Mark Elder but a chap called Andrew Gourlay. LOL.

Gourlay is equally as renown as Elder to be honest and he did an admirable job. The Britten, which opened the concert was charming. I can find Britten to be a little too strident at times and almost atonal but his Suite on English Folks songs was as pastoral and bucolic as you would have expected it to be. It is a fairly modern piece too, composed in 1972, or there abouts. I think it turned out to be an unexpected delight.

The Sibelius was an expected delight. His violin concerto is justly famous being  pastoral and idyllic and romantic at the same time. I found it amusing that a Norwegian violinist was playing a piece by a Finn about Finland. Still, despite the mismatch of countries Kraggerud played very well indeed.  

Sibelius is one of my favourite composers, TBH. Mainly because of his obvious nationalist fervour and deep love of his homeland both of which are evident in his music. Finlandia is the more well-known piece, obviously, but the violin concerto, if it had a subtitle like “Homeland” or something similar would probably be equally well known.  That’s my opinion, anyway.

The Stravinsky was as bold and dynamic as you have come to expect from his works. Petrushka is one of his more accessible pieces which I knew as a child long before I had heard of The Firebird. It sort of fitted well with the Britten earlier in the programme with its adaptation of traditional folk tunes. 

Needless to say, until I had played these last two pieces to Laura during the month they would have been completely new to her. The Britten, from what I gathered in the bar at the interval was completely new to a lot of the concert goers: me included.

The end of the evening’s weather had turned from driving rain to an insidious drizzle which still managed to coat everything is a watery sheen. We arrived back home in time for the rain to give up the ghost completely so that Callie and I didn’t have an evening swim through the lanes but a more normal walk.

When I got back Laura had made us both a hot chocolate and marshmallow drink which was so welcoming after the horribleness outside. As she always manages to do when drinking hot chocolate, she had given herself a frothy moustache which I just had to lick off…

It is amazing the places chocolate froth gets to you know!

Saturday 1st February.

Dad sent me an e-mail link overnight, to news cutting about a dog in WA being arrested on suspicion of DUI for running a car into its owner. It happened in Mundaring and apparently the car ran into the guy pinning him against another vehicle when the dog somehow managed to release the handbrake! Only in Australia, eh?

No rain this morning as I walked my dog, who has yet to try and run me over in my own car! She used to have the run of all the passenger space in my little Picanto but in my new one [a Kia Cee’d] she has the boot all to herself behind a dog guard so it couldn’t happen now. Maybe in the old one she had been secretly plotting my demise so she could inherit all my wealth and live in doggy luxury for the rest of her days.

At the pool we managed 100 lengths with no trouble this morning. It just shows how quickly you get back into the routine if you are basically fit already. There were more people this morning than yesterday, Sarah is putting the increase down to the dry morning! We collected our papers from Sylvia on the way home, she is convinced the world is trying to remove the human infestation from its surface and this weather is just a part of its strategy. The sad thing is I think she was serious!

Double showers and breakfast and then a lazy day enjoying the lack of rain. I did the Times jumbo crossword in just under three quarters of an hour which is slow for me. For part of the morning Laura spent the time trying out some eye makeup on me. It involved a gradual colour change across the eyelid from dark by the nose to pale by my cheek and then spreading an extended eyeliner outwards. It looks brilliant. I am going to try and keep it un-smudged for tonight’s theatre trip.

I had a go at doing the same to her eyelids but I am quite cack handed at this sort of thing and it didn’t look anywhere near as impressive as what she’d done to my eyes. I don’t usually wear much, if any, make up so I don’t have the dexterity of a regular user. Although if I could get the hang of this technique, I might do it some more. I removed my mess on Laura's lids with makeup remover and she applied the ‘war paint’ to her own eyes. It was just as spectacular as what she’d done on my eyes. I have obviously just failed in my role as a putative bimbo! LOL

The play.

Wowzer. I know the Dream much better than I know Comedy of Errors, as I expect most people do, so it is going to need a special treatment to make it stand out. An all made cast went a long way towards that special treatment and a set that was basically white with odd things dangling about on it did that as well. I think Puck was the most amusing though in his bright hooped tights and a tutu!

The first half is usually quite long winded in its scene setting but that should give way to a break neck second half and that is exactly what we got. The guy playing Helena was brilliant, even with cropped hair and five o’clock shadow the essential Helena was there. I played her at school and was particularly impressed by both the vulnerability she/he showed and then by her [his] absolute incandescent anger when both lovers profess to love her. I enjoyed doing that on stage at school and you could tell the guy playing Helena was having a ball.

It would take a pretty dreadful actor to foul up Bottom and this chap didn’t disappoint. I think the overall success of the play depends on how good the Bottom is. He was very good. The Mechanicals’ Pyramus and Thisbee was hilarious; much more so than our school production. I guess we couldn’t “let ourselves go” in the same way that a professional can. At this point in the play, I had to remember that I had my startling eye make-up on as I cried with laughter so much I nearly smudged the whole lot away with a tissue. Luckily Mum watched me ratching about in my handbag for a tissue and, when she saw what I was going to do with it, she grabbed my arm to stop me!

Earlier, during the interval I was full of how good the production was and kept comparing it to our old school one. Mum started to get a bit huffy as she thought I was being critical of her direction so I had to explain to her that I wasn't and that if she’d had a set of professional actors instead of a bunch of silly schoolgirls she’d have produced something equally as impressive. What she got out of us girls was pretty marvelous in itself, anyway.

Mrs Briggs was gobsmacked by what she had seen in the first half and then was amazed that Mum had directed the play at our school when I was a pupil there. She said that she always knew I was an actress at heart [was that an insult?]. Mum then spent some of the interval telling her horror stories of my adolescent acting and how I had tried to persuade her to let the local boys’ school audition for parts in the Dream,  so it could be a joint production with “real” males. She also listed almost every acting role I had undertaken from Angel Gabriel [aged 5] onward. Thanks for that Mum!

We didn't see her after the show but I think she will be extolling its virtues around the office during the week. It runs until next weekend and then is off on its continuing tour of the country. A couple of the cast members came up into the bar afterwards and Mum collared one of them to chat to, which was so embarrassing. You could see the guy’s eyes thinking, “I've got a weirdo here…” until she mentioned having the seen the Peter Hall version at Stratford when she was younger and she thought their set design owed it a debt of gratitude. They ended up gossiping for ages and ages so in the end we began to put our coats on and make valedictory noises which brought Mum back to earth. We wandered off homewards still with a sense of having been to something very special indeed.

It had stayed dry, too. So we could have glad ragged up. We didn't though, we just wore variations of the jeans and top ensembles from yesterday. That is about it for the moment, “Arts-wise”. Our next cultural outing is to the City Hall for a Valentine’s day treat where we’ll be hearing Romeo & Juliet [excerpts from the Prokofiev ballet], Liszt’s bang the keyboard Piano Concerto and something by Bartok –which I can’t remember at the moment.

I played Laura the Mendelssohn Overture to MND while we had a nightcap and she thinks she’d like to see a ‘proper’ version of it now too.

Sunday February 2^nd.

I called Dad this morning with news about Dubmill Point. I wanted to get him back for sending the dog story I suppose. He already knew! Molly [Laura’s Mum] had e-mailed him the newspaper link so he could read all about it for himself. Gutted.

Dubmill Point is where, owing to an idiot in a slow moving car in front of us, we had a huge wave break over us on a really wild and woolly day in January after we’d been to Silloth. It was pretty scary to be honest but as we were in Dad’s Land Rover at the time I wasn't too concerned. It seems we’d need a Land Rover to drive along that road now! It is covered with debris, has been closed to ALL traffic and police are stopping and giving on the spot fines to motorists who are stupid enough to attempt to drive through.

They are going to have to call civil engineers out to see if the road will be safe to use once this passage of atrocious weather is over [that could be about June! LOL]. A couple of years ago a whole section of road and concrete embankment was washed away leaving a gaping hole in the surface, so those drivers are being really stupid trying to drive through! I am picking Dad up from Glasgow airport next Saturday, so we’ll be able to see for ourselves, during the weekend, just how bad it is. We can walk up the beach to there from Allonby so it should be an adventure for Saturday arvo or Sunday morning.

Today we had a second dry day! I will have to put out the bunting! We decided to try for a stroll around Agden from High Bradfield. If we had just gone round the reservoir we’d have been mudded up to the eyeballs but going along past the old Motte and Bailey castle and under Rocher Edge we avoided the majority of the squelchy nasties.

We had lunch at the Old Horns and were able to snag the window seat which offers views right out across to Derwent Edge. It was a glorious day really, considering the crap we have had recently and having someone else cook lunch was an added bonus. I experimented with beer too! Well, sort of. They had some Bradfield Brewery’s Belgian Blue on the pumps so I asked for a shandy to be made with it. It was delicious. I mean not at all beer like, but fruity and quite sweet. I was lucky to get some, because when we went for a second round of drinks the barrel had been finished.

After lunch we drove up to the brewery. It is in walking distance from the pub but Callie had spotted us from the car boot and started barking with joy. The brewery doesn’t sell it in bottles but they do a thing called a party cask [5 litres] or beer in a box [15 litres]. I asked about its shelf life and the person said the party cask would last about a month. So I bought one. I have to stand it for at least half a day for it to settle and then when I am ready I have a valve to open to relieve the pressure. It sounds complicated but I’m sure we’ll cope. Once their current stock has gone that will be it until next December when they brew up some more especially for the Christmas market. I put it on the table in the cellar where it will remain and we’ll access it from there so it doesn’t need moving again.

An early night was had by all [10pm] as we were feeling a wee bit knackered and still stuffed from the huge roast dinner in Bradfield. So stuffed in fact we couldn’t manage a proper evening meal but settled for some apple pie and ice cream instead! With the hot chocolate fudge cake I had for dessert at the pub that makes it a two dessert day. Not good for the figure.