Monday 23 December 2013

Talking with Dad about f*cking! (Well, sort of!)

Friday December 20th

Usual morning, dog walking, swimming, breakfast etc. Had a chat with Sarah at the pool to explain how we were going to be away for almost a month! She thinks we have too many holidays! LOL

Laura drove me into work and was scheduled to pick me up at 1pm to drive to Cumbria.

I passed a fairly quiet morning at work. There was no sign of Mr Mistletoe, thank goodness. I spent a relaxing few hours back on the task of digitising our records. I felt a bit guilty at about 12.30 when Mrs B came over and plonked a small, gift wrapped box on my desk. “Don’t tell anyone and don’t get into a panic about buying me anything, but I bought you this as a thank you for all the concert information and other musical things you’ve done for me over the year. Just put it in your bag and pretend nothing happened!”

You don’t argue with Mrs B.

It was like a second Secret Santa, we got the first (official) one on Wednesday. I haven’t opened mine yet. You don’t open Christmas presents before the twenty fifth, do you? I bought a beautiful scarf and gloves set for Emily, who had admired mine earlier in the year. I hope she likes them when she opens her present. She may guess who gave it if she remembers telling me how much she liked my scarf.

At 12.55 Laura was at the door of Archives ready to zoom off, good old Mrs Briggs said we were to go. I was expecting a huge amount of traffic but it was just like an ordinary day really. Maybe it would get busy later? The M61 and M6 were almost clear!

At Dad’s the Citroen was packed with two suitcase and two flight bags all ready to depart in the wee small hours. Louisa had a chicken concoction on the go for our evening meal and I got a stern telling by Dad that we were not to touch this year’s wine! If we wanted any, we had to finish off last year’s. There are still about 2 dozen bottles left, despite The Old Wine party. I solemnly agreed that we would not pinch Hilmar’s wine. What does he think we’re like?

Dad and I walked the dogs up Tallentire Hill for their last walk of the day and we had a long gossip about everything nothing in particular. I told him Suze had his and Louisa’s Chrimbo pressies waiting out there [which he thought was a neat surprise]. I didn’t tell him I had bought them in the summer and left them waiting for their arrival. I moaned about Felice leaving me to meet our supervisor alone while she was whooping it up with Mr Radford in Lancaster.

He told me that Mike and Felice were behaving like a pair of kids when he met them in town. They had just been to see the Hanging Room in the castle and Mike was impressed by her knowledge of Mediaeval History. Had the drongo not the wit to realise she was a Med. Hist. scholar with an MA to her name already? Dad thought that it was infatuation blindness!

He reminded me that as usual he had left a roll of cash in the teapot. We were to use that to top up any food we ate from the pantry or freezer (as we always did) and to slip some to Molly for the times she would look after his three dogs when we whizzed back to Sheffield for the theatre and concerts we’d booked. There was a turkey crown in the freezer bought specially for us, if we wanted a small private dinner and two other joints – a beef one and leg of pork. We could have those too if we wanted. We just had to remember to cross them off the freezer list on the kitchen noticeboard. I have a freezer list like that too! [OK, it was Mum’s idea originally. I am often surprised that other people are surprised by it. How do they keep track of what is in their freezers any other way?]

For the last week of January, the dogs were having a holiday at Errol’s house, while we went back to Sunny Sheff for the two Sheakespeare plays and the conclusion of the Autumn semester. {Sheffield Uni is weird like that.}

I was treated to my usual kiss on the forehead at the top of the hill and we walked back down hugging each other round the waist, more like lovers than Dad and Daughter (to any casual observer). I broached the subject of Louisa and a baby and he was quite open and frank, saying he thought they may be unsuccessful but he was prepared, for her sake, to keep on trying. [For her sake? Yeah, right Dad!] It is very strange talking to your Dad about fcuking!

An early, drink free night was had by all.


Saturday 21st December.

Up before the larks. The dogs had the mini walk this morning (to the small layby on Tall. Hill and back) mainly because we needed to get off and also because it was raining!

Dad drove his car all the way to the airport and Laura and I snoozed in the back seat. She lay with her head in my lap and was zed pushing before we even hit Carlisle and I was in dreamland by the time we were on the M74. Waking up still in darkness was nothing new, I am an early bird after all. We parked up in the car park and strolled with the Aged P & Not so Aged W into the terminal. Our plan was to see them through check in and head off to the restaurant to eat masses of cooked breakfast.

We had mega hugs after they had cleared baggage handling and Dad whispered, “Maybe the mile high club would help Louisa conceive!”

Daad! Nooooo! Inappropriate subject matter for your baby daughter’s ears!

We shouldn’t have talked about babies last night. He was probably joking and saying it to wind me up. I should know, I do exactly the same thing with most people too. Still I dropped him in it as they left for the departure lounge with, “You can buy a T shirt on board afterwards. I’ve still got mine somewhere!” Explain that to Louisa, I thought was they left.

Laura chuckled all the way through breakfast at the thought of Dad trying to explain to Louisa what my lie meant! I actually got a text about 30 mins before they took off with the message, “1-0. But don’t worry. I will get an equalizer!”

Laura said I should e-mail Suze and get her to ask him if he bought the T-shirt, when they get there! What a brilliant idea.

It was still dark when their flight departed and we decided we’d drive into the city and do a bit of last minute Christmas retail therapy. We stayed until about 11.30, when the crowds had become quite large and a couple of the shops we went into were heaving. We walked down to look at the Clutha bar. Which, I suppose, is quite a morbid thing to do, does it make us ghouls? It is still surrounded by those tall steel, interlocking fence things. It brought a shudder to think about the horror of it all. We are so lucky that more things don’t fall out of the sky onto the people below, there are so many up there.

The drive back down was uneventful. Dad’s car at over 100mph is a brilliant drive. It doesn’t half make travelling at the normal speed limit seem really, really slow afterwards though.

The dogs were so glad to see us when we got back, and despite the rain we took them to the trig point on Tall. Hill as a treat. Loll and I had a major snogathon at the trig point. I said that in the summer we ought to come back up here and have sex. It would be brilliant bonking with a view of the Lake District as your backdrop. She was worried we’d get caught, but I told her that I have never seen anyone wander off the track to come to the trig point in all the times I have been up here. I am not sure she was convinced. I nearly blabbed how I had given Richard a BJ at the summit of every fell we had climbed together but common sense prevailed. That is a memory I don’t think I will share. We actually made the beast with two backs on the summit if there was shelter there, several times too.

As we had been up so much earlier than usual, even for me, we decided another early night was to be had by the two house sitters, although we didn’t go to sleep immediately, we did what we’d been talking about at the trig point instead.


Sunday December 22nd.

It was still windy this morning but no rain. We went for a stroll in the Lorton Valley. I parked Dad’s Land Rover at the foot of Rannerdale Knotts, walked up Rannerdale itself and down into Buttermere. Had a cuppa at the café (which was open, surprise, surprise) and then down to the shore of Crummock to the sleeping dinosaur. From there we followed the shore to the road and cut across the foot of the Knotts to drop back to the car. It is a brilliant walk on a windy and cloudy day, if it had been sunny it would have been marvellous. In May Rannerdale is full of bluebells. At the foot of the Knotts we put the dogs into the lake to wash them down and then let them dry off in the car as we drove back home.

It was fairly quiet moseying up Rannerdale, with no other souls about. The path into Buttermere was full of people climbing out of the village, heading towards Wandhope and Grasmoor. The village itself was quite busy and the path down to the lake was full(ish) too. There were no campers on the camp site, however!

The sleeping dinosaur is a series of boulders that stick out of the water at the head of the lake and looks like the plates of a stegosaurus breaking through the waves. They are in a slight curve too, which makes them more animal like than a straight line would have. Often rowing boats are for hire on this stretch of the shore. There were none in use today.

Lunch was a bit late but consisted of eating up whatever was in D & L’s fridge. This meal was salmon steaks. Tea would be salad. Tomorrow would be sausage. Then there are a couple of lamb chops; apart from a pile of vegetables and salad, there isn’t much left in it to be honest. We planned a food shop for Monday morning and drew up a Christmas week menu. I still want to walk up Scafell Pike on Christmas Day but Laura isn’t too keen on the idea.

We may hit a compromise and climb something diddy, like Catbells, which would only take an hour or so and is no real effort at all! Either way it means Turkey sandwiches for lunch, which will mean I’ll cook the bird on Tuesday! If I get all the veggies prepped then as well, all we’ll have to do is come in from the walk, switch on the oven and Robert is your father’s brother!

There was an 8pm showing of the Hobbit 2 in Workington, so we went across to see it for a second time. It was even better than the first time. It still doesn’t seem like a long film and I now think the inclusion of the female elf was a good idea. After the first viewing I wasn’t so sure, but now I am. Good call Mr Jackson! The scenes with the dragon were better for having advance knowledge of them too, as it were. I can’t wait to own it on DVD and watch it again and again.

Felt really tired out when we came out of the cinema but as we’d come down in Dad’s Land Rover again, I had to drive us back home. [Laura isn’t on Dad’s insurance.] I had to open the window to let a cold breeze keep me awake even though it’s only 7 miles from The Plaza to Dad’s!

A debauched evening wasn’t really on the cards. If the spirit was willing the flesh was definitely weak! 
After tonight, only two sleeps until the Myran Bishop’s appearance. Rah de rah rah!


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