Monday June 30th.
We fly to Aus next month. I am so excited. Still have the
tedium of three weeks at work to endure before we go though, for every upside
there’s a down. (That would be a good title for a song – it probably already is and I have dragged it
from my subconscious.)
The Aged parent phone before we left for work to ask if they
could come down and stay on Saturday as they have tickets to see Dream Theatre
at The City Hall. “Dream Theater” (sic) I should say as they are American and
still think correct spelling makes them part of an imperialist plot by the UK.
Rant avoided here as I can’t be arsed to criticise the whole country for being
a set of drongos.
I told Dad I was OK with them coming down and did they want
a pre-gig meal cooking? He was delighted by the idea (I knew he would be).
Laura is at Dominic’s all week working up a vast amount of spending money for
our trip – mainly from the tips she gets. She had over £60 last time she worked
a Saturday night.
Dad and Louisa will arrive mid-morning, they want to come
via Meadowhall (they even asked me if I wanted to meet them for some retail
therapy there – I declined). I asked how the baby was doing and they are doing
fine it seems. It is still pretty early in the pregnancy but the pre-natal unit
in Carlisle is being very good with Louisa because she is an older woman. So
they should too! She has regular checks and the like to make sure nothing is
amiss, this is very reassuring. I am so used to the idea of having a kids
sister, I would be heart-broken if anything happened. (OK it may be a boy, but
I have my heart set on a kid sister. I told Louisa this and she said she would
try her best! LOL)
Work and daily life continued as usual. Nothing earth
shattering happened. Today and I doubt if it will over the course of the week
to be honest. Not having the interplay of personalities there are around a
campus it is easy to see how people in their work fall into a rut with it. It
sort of makes me see why Christopher has behaved towards me over the four years
I have worked at XXX & Y.
We finished early as usual, by working our lunch hours. Had
a meal, a relaxing hug, and then the Lollster went down to the restaurant.
Feeling enervated by the warm weather I ended up snoozing on the sofa for most
of the evening, with Radio 3 playing softly in the background. I had realised I
was tired. I just drifted away with
beautiful music to lull me to sleep. When I was woken up Laura had taken Callie
for a walk and we could just pile into the shower then bed. She is a star.
Tuesday July 1st
More of the same really today: dog walk, swimming,
breakfast, work, home, meal, Laura to restaurant, Me sewing, dog walk, shower
together, bed.
When written like that it is pretty banal really, isn’t it?
Still the “X”s on the wall chart keep growing.
Wednesday July 2nd.
After getting into work I realised I left the back door open
(or I thought I had). Laura couldn’t remember closing it and neither could I. I
made a frantic call to Julie and she went round to check for me and to lock it
if it was open. It wasn’t. Phew! Thank goodness. Is this the onset of early
Alzheimer’s?
The rest of the office and I had a good old giggle about the
silly things we had done owing to forgetfulness. I not only had a cheered up
morning, but I discovered everyone seems to have their ditzy moments. We made
it a condition for everyone who entered Archives this morning that they had to
tell us about a moment of forgetfulness from their past. Everybody had one they
could recount. I was amazed. I could
have killed Christopher when he told the office he had forgotten about me only
wanting a concert companion which was why he had tried to snog me after a
show couple of years ago. The little
git.
I suffered a good hours grilling about what was wrong with
Christopher? Why did I only want a concert companion? How come I had not let on
to anyone in the office about this? [I did point out that their very reaction
was the main reason!] Ann told me she knew he was always ultra-nice to me but
had no idea it was unrequited love which was making him behave that way. If I
didn’t mind she would try and take him off my hands. I couldn’t give a sensible
reason why not so I told her, “If you want him, he’s yours!” I am not sure that
Christopher will be too pleased if he discovers I have given him away like
this.
I went to the web to find out about Dream Theater (sic)
tickets etc and discovered they were playing the City Hall as a low key warm-up
to a festival gig the next evening. That sounded pretty cool, so I buzzed down
to the Lollster in Repro and asked her if she wanted the night of from Dom’s to
go and see them. She replied with a “Not really, but if you want to go, go
ahead…” That left me on the horns of a dilemma; did I really want to see them
after all? In the end I decided I wouldn’t bother either.
After Laura went off to the restaurant I drove Callie and me
up to Loxley Edge and we had a good old hour and a bit’s walk along a virtually
unknown little edge right in the city. It has overgrown quite a lot and there
are no real places to climb at all (that I could find) but Callie loved running
about and trying to catch rabbits. She failed.
It was quite a muggy night and there were far more bugs than
I would have liked. I was surprised to see that the road to the car park had
been resurfaced recently. It used be pitted and cratered like the surface of
the moon but now some kind people (the council perhaps?) had filled all the
holes and put a beautifully smooth and car-spring-friendly road way down to the
car park. It will merely mean more people come and use it and it’ll be less
popular for couples wanting a place for a secret bonk!
In my year-long dalliance with Alan we had parked up here
one evening after going to the Admiral Rodney (further down the hill). It was
where I had given him a BJ. I remember it particularly as once he had shot his
load and I’d removed my head from his lap there was a second car parked quite
close alongside us – he had not said a thing about it! I felt so embarrassed
that the people in the car would know exactly what I had been doing when my
head miraculously reappeared. I made him take me home at once.
I drove slowly back home and then collected Laura from
Dominic’s at kicking out time. We both walked Callie and then hit the charp for
some passion after our shower.
Thursday July 3rd
Thinking about Alan yesterday must have made me dream about
Richard. (Don’t question my logic) I had this amazing dream where we were on
holiday somewhere hot, out on the water in a pedalo and he asked me to a bj. I
agreed but then seemed to end up with loads of pedalos coming over and the guys
in them asking for a bj too. Everyone was very disappointed that I wouldn’t.
It
was both exciting and disgusting at the same time. I woke up really wet and horny
as hell. Laura was still fast asleep so I decided not to wake her but snook out
one of our toys from the bedside drawer (a replica penis which has a sort of
sucker at the end so you can fix to a wall, table or floor; fastening it to the
wardrobe door and backing myself onto it used to be my favourite way of
masturbating when I was younger). I started to use the toy gently on myself and
kept biting my lip to stop myself from making any noise.
It proved unnecessary because just as I felt a head of steam
rising I also found another hand closing round mine and a voice said, “I’ll
finish this for you if you can do the same for me afterwards?”
I didn’t need asking twice. Laura helped the steam come out
of my ears and I then repaid her the compliment with the toy, then with my
mouth and the toy together. She was most appreciative.
She asked me afterwards what had brought that on. I
explained that I'd had this dream about Richard and it turned me on so much. To my
surprise she started crying. Wracking great sobs that filled me with alarm (to
say the least).
When she finally calmed down a little, I asked her what was the matter and she said that it was her
great fear that I would tire of her and end up leaving her for a man. The dream
had sort of proved it.
I explained that dreaming about having sex with Richard
was something that is only to be expected. We fucked all the time all over the
place (a bit like she and I do – I reminded her) because we loved each other so
much. I don’t dream about other guys or having sex with anyone but Richard (and
occasionally doing it in very public places with Laura, although I didn’t tell
her that). If I was thinking of leaving her surely I would have kept quiet about
the dream? She sort of got the point.
I told her that I had occasional worries that she’d meet
someone more exciting and younger than me and she’d be the one leaving me. We
both had a little sob and a cuddle. Finally, before we drifted back off to
sleep, she lay snuggled against my breasts and muttered, “If you do try and
leave me, I’ll just have to kill you, you know?”
I told her I would the same to her! With the food processor!
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