Sunday 2 November 2014

Sex advice from a 'virgin'. I am getting a new sister! Yaaay!

Monday October 27th

All work and no play make Jill a dull girl.
All work and no play make Jill a dull girl.
All work and no play make Jill a dull girl.
All work and no play make Jill a dull girl.
All work and no play make Jill a dull girl.
All work and no play make Jill a dull girl.
All work and no play make Jill a dull girl.
All work and no play make Jill a dull girl.
All work and no play make Jill a dull girl.

Sorry, got stuck in a loop; stuck in a loop; stuck in a loop.

I actually moved Olivia’s day for her extra tuition to tonight so we could go and see a concert on Tuesday night at the Firth Hall. We actually just did our normal day’s routine which, if described in full detail, would be like the book Jack Torrance was writing at the Overlook Hotel. Laura moved Trevor’s day to Monday too for the same reason, obviously. Unlike the sixth-formers’ parents, Olivia’s Mum continues to stay at our house (in the lounge) while Livvy and I work in our kitchen. The sixth formers’ Mums & Dad have realised that we will be working for the full two hours with their children and use the time to do other things at home. (Make other children, maybe? Though I doubt it.)

Tuesday October 28th

I read the blurb in the Firth Hall’s current season brochure and decided that going to see Kathryn Tickell and the Side would be an interesting proposition. They are a band of classically trained musicians, with KT, who play a mixture of popular North-Eastern folk songs coupled with pseudo classical, atmospheric music. That was the gist of the notes in the leaflet.

Being a full day at Uni meant we could leave early; get changed and have our meal and still not be rushed for our arrival at the Hall. I wore denim shorts over black tights, a cropped t-shirt and Dad’s old leather biker jacket with my black DMs, Laura went for a flowery girly look with her pale blue Laura Ashley dress, a matching cardi and two scarves. She also wore DMs but her painted ones.

Despite the write up in the literature from the Hall I wasn’t really sure what to expect but we found an atmosphere unlike either a Classical Music concert or a Rock Music concert. It was a sort of polite respectfulness if you understand my meaning. The band are all women and they looked much younger than KT. There was a harpist, cellist and an accordion player as well as Kathryn on Northumbrian pipes and violin. They played a selection of evocative and intricate pieces, some jigs and dance type numbers and a few music to poetry type tunes as well. They were haunting and melodic and sad and poignant and funny and mad.
We really enjoyed it and I found myself afterwards buying the newest CD and a collected pieces CD from the merchandise person. Laura was convinced that Kathryn and the blonde (dyed) girl were lesbians in a relationship – from their body language and such but if they were it passed over my head. Ruth, the aforementioned ‘blonde girl’ has a look of Susannah Lipscombe about her and she plays the harp beautifully. She has a sort of tiny, weenie harp on a specially made stand the like of which I have never seen before.

TBH, this isn’t my kind of music at all. (Or so I thought at first.) However as the evening went on I found myself more and more drawn in to the atmospheres being created and whole ethos of what these four women were creating on stage together. That was why I bought two CDs after the show: the current one which the played masses from and a sort of ‘Best of..’ compilation. They played a piece by the greatest English composer that might have been (had he not died young) Henry Purcell but the most enjoyable piece for me was something called Dark Skies Waltz. 

From going along as a pair of open-minded sceptics we ended the evening as converts. We have decided we will have to go and watch this lot again on future tours. To that end I signed up on their website to the mailing list and we have found out much more about them and their music. We also bought ourselves a Tour T-shirt each, how rock and roll is that?

I made a copy of each CD to send to my Dad. It will be amusing for me to be giving him some ‘popular’ music for a change.


Wednesday October 29th

More of the same today. Dog walk, swim, showers, breakfast, work at Uni, work at XXX & Y, home, evening meal, home tutoring, dog walk, final shower, bed. Sex! Yes, it is a repetitive schedule and, yes, I guess people might think it is boring and like a treadmill but I know what I am doing at Uni is definitely not boring and Laura would probably say the same. OK, she is finding Reprographics rather undemanding of her talents and abilities but it is only a stop-gap, temporary post until she graduates. I left ARR full time to go and do my Masters’ [I did both on a part-time basis] and I had to really force myself to leave something I loved doing. This was the reason why I set up a part-time job with them as I started my PhD. when I realised I could, sneakily, fit in some hours back at XXX & Y. Plus I knew Mrs B would be delighted to have me come back and work full time again. (I don’t think I am ready to give up my dream of lecturing just yet.)

Laura’s tutee, Bobbi, was quite funny tonight. She had picked up on how ‘close’ Laura and I were as a pair of girls ‘sharing’ together – so Laura just came straight out and said, “We’re a couple.” Far from provoking a shocked and knee jerk, bellicose reaction from Bobbi, she said that she knew it. She thought it was wonderful and she was toying with the idea of giving up boys altogether. Laura asked her why and she was told they are immature, ignorant and they do her head in.

She had to agree with that assessment but tried to explain that you didn’t just try a girl instead of a boy when the boys were a bit ‘iffy’, you tried girls because the idea of boys was totally repulsive and the idea of girls was simply heavenly. She thought Bobbi understood but decided to leave it there as Bobbi asked her, ‘Do you fancy me then?’ Awkward or what?

They got on with their maths and at the end of the session she asked if Laura would talk about how we ‘did it’. Laura, quite rightly, said no. But Bobbi continued by asking, “Do you get an orgasm everytime?” Laura just nodded. This led to Bobbi’s revelation that she hadn’t had one at all and that no matter how many times she and David had ‘done it’, she’d not had a single orgasm. Laura told her that the answer wasn’t to try a woman instead but to tell Dave what to do so that she was satisfied after lovemaking too. If that didn’t work, then dump him and find a lover who knew what they were doing.

It seems she can bring herself to an O by herself so she knows that everything ‘works’, it just isn’t working with Dave. She was unsure of how to tell him because she made noises like she was enjoying the sex and he thought he was doing a good job. If she told him she wasn’t getting an orgasm from his efforts he’d know she’d been faking it for ages.

I was so glad I wasn’t having this conversation with Bobbi. My advice would probably have been totally unsuitable. Actually, there is no probably about it. I would most likely have told her to go and shag as many guys as she could until she found one who could light her fuse! What I found the most amusing was the fact that Laura, who is technically a virgin (according to the strict definition of the word), was giving sex advice to a girl who is getting a cock inside her on a regular basis!

The sex after the departure of Bobbi and her Mum was pretty incredible as I was intimately interrogated by Laura about my orgasms and whether or not I was faking it. I think she believed me in the end. Phew! (If she is faking hers then she deserves an Oscar!)

Thursday 30th October

More of the same and more of the same.
Another two half day split today: Uni in the morning, XXX & Y in the afternoon. I had Jenny-Leigh for her lesson and Laura had Sally for hers. These two clever clogs had realised that they lived pretty close to each other and had arranged a lift system whereby J-L’s Mum dropped them off and Sal’s Mum picked them up. Pretty smart cookies, eh?

Before the girls arrived I had a call from Dad saying there had been a bit of a scare with Louisa and the baby on Monday. They didn’t want to alarm anyone but she had spent a night in hospital but everything was all right and the baby was doing fine. Plus, if I wanted to know the gender of my future sibling he could tell me. I ummed and ahhed about it for a while but in the end curiosity won. I am going to have a baby sister! I am so pleased. I wouldn’t have been as impressed if it has been a boy. This is not because I am a mad feminist or raging lezzzie, I just have had very limited experience of little boys. Jeff, in Australia, was about five or six when I first saw him. I do know Phil and Jane’s lad, Peter, a bit better but he was an obnoxious little brat for quite a while as a toddler and young infant. I suppose those two are the only ones I have as a point of reference.

I asked if I should tell Mum and was given a very dismissive, “If you want…” Well, I will want, thank you very much Dad!

I took time to tell him I agreed about the new Flying Colors CD he had sent me. I thought it was poor compared to the first album. He said he has played it twice more since the initial listen and it still hasn’t got any better. He was surprised that we’d been to see Kathryn Tickell and he has seen her too, years ago it seems, when she played Norwich in the early 1990’s. I know I should have expected him to have been there and done that [and bought the T-shirt.] I asked if it was still OK for us to come on up for the weekend and he said, “Of course, why shouldn’t it be?” I told him we’d arrive mid-afternoon and did he want a meal getting ready. I was told there would be no need as Louisa had stayed in Tallentire all week since the hospital visit, so she’d be there already getting the meal prepped.

I am getting much more excited about being a sister again, now I know we will be having another princess in the family. That is someone whom I can spoil rotten and teach how to be a feminist! LOL

Post script. It is obviously psychological that when I first posted this I referred to the impending arrival as my new niece! Am I still in denial about Dad & Louisa having a child at their ages. I guess that Freudian slip shows I must be.


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