The home sick student; the Girly Dining Club and a day off.

Monday November 11^th.

Why is Monday so quiet a day?

I met all of my Tutees today. That was fun! The majority seem to have settled in really well and are on target and up to date. One of the guys asked me if I was at the Firth Hall on Sunday. I had gone to see the Handel Vespers. He was there too with his girlfriend. [He must be a quick worker!] I told him about the City Hall’s International Concert season but he thought they were too expensive for his meagre resources. He does go to the free Lunchtime Concerts at the Firth and he will be going to next week’s evening concert with Ensemble 360. It was quite a surprise to find another fan of Classical Music.  He hadn’t approached me and Laura at the Firth Hall because he felt embarrassed! I told him he must do so next time. [He could buy his tutor a drink!]

One girl is still seriously homesick. She was quite miserable and upset. In fact she came into the “broom cupboard” and just burst into tears! I spent a long time with her, calmed her down and asked her to explain exactly what the problem was. There were a few more tears but she eventually became lucid and less emotionally stressed. After ages and ages I sent her to clean up in the staff toilets and then took her to lunch with me and Laura, to try and get her cheered up a bit. She hasn’t been home since the start of term [home is Hull] so I told her she must go to Hull this weekend! I’ll even buy her a train ticket if necessary! None of her friends have come to Sheffield and although she says she has made some new ones here, she is still missing her old school friends and her Mum! Ah, bless! 

I don’t know if I have made a difference but I have also given her my mobile number if she wants to talk at any time.

Loll and I went to Mum’s before heading home and we had dinner with her. She is keen to hear all about the Arran caravan. She has asked if she can come with us when we go and stay. It was weird having Mum ask if she could come to something I will own. Naturally I have said Yes. I have also told her that because I have 50% ownership I can invite anyone I want, to go and use it even when I am not there. The owner would like a list of possible users of the van, as the vans  aren’t to be sublet to strangers or anything. I think having my Mum on the list of users is a great idea. When I showed her the photo’s of the site she was stunned. She remembers it from our trip to Brook Cottage last year, but the pitch has wonderful views over Whiting Bay and the Clyde and has no obstacles in front of it at all!

Loll wasn’t at work tonight; this week seems to have very few bookings compared to last. She will only be there on Tuesday, as on Wednesday it’s the Girls’ Dining Club [at Lorraine’s] and on Thursday we are driving up to Dad’s to be closer to the Arran Ferry. It would be a hell of a drive from Sheffield straight to Ardrossan to get the 9.45 ferry! Breaking the journey makes far more sense, plus we can all pile into Dad’s car, instead of taking two!

All in all, this was a day that passed with only one little incident and no unnecessary excitement.

Tuesday 12^th November.

Dog walking and swimming again, as usual.

The newspaper van wasn’t outside Sylvia’s as I walked past this morning. That must be the first time it’s been late for ages. Sylv herself was standing on the step of the shop telling potential customers [there are always one or two early birds] that the van hadn’t been yet. A puncture on the Middlewood Road turns out to have been the reason! We found that out on our return from the pool where the same old codger who had accosted me on Remembrance Sunday, at Sylv’s, was there again. Luckily the old git didn’t start on at me this time even though today I was poppy-less and sporting a CND badge on my duffel coat. {You have to put a CND badge on duffel coats. It’s de-rigeur. Some prat at work asked me, “What’s with the “peace” badge?” How bloody ignorant! I put them right about it. Explaining how it was semaphore for N and D inside a circle, hence CND. Some people know nothing!}

We went our separate ways at Uni and I found Feli with a cardboard cabinet, just like the ones we’ve been looking at, waiting outside our broom cupboard / sorry, Office. She had bought it on e-bay. It is part of a kit, done by an American woman, which you buy in stages and make up your self. This person on e-bay had bought the cabinet and then abandoned the idea. Feli was wondering if we could make our own embroideries to cover the thing? I know my embroidery would probably be up to the task but I also knew Feli was still doing counted cross-stitch kits of kittens! I get the feeling if we agree it will be YT who ends up making the embroideries to cover the box.

I had a serious think about it during the morning and have decided that we could have a go at reproducing the scenes we have found on the other caskets. We have hundreds of photographs of the panels and close ups of the stitches. With a bit of ingenuity we should be able to work out what the stitches are and make up our own designs. I also know Michelle from the Royal School of Needlework who would help us if we get stuck. I use the word “us” advisedly. I just know it will be me who does all the work.

The homesick student came to see me today and was a much happier bunny now she’d spoken to her Mum and arranged to go to Hull for the weekend. It was a no-brainer, to me. She is going to zoom off on Thursday, missing only one lecture in the process. She is also going to have lunch with Loll and me on the Monday after she comes back and let us know how she got on.

At XXX & Y solicitors’ Mrs Briggs was all ears about Ensemble 360 and next Tuesday’s concert. I gave her the web address of the Firth Hall and she called it up while I was in her office. She booked two tickets for the performance there and then. She then said, “I’ll not tell Christopher about this.” She was also surprised to find out about the lunchtime free concerts, performed by undergrads and post grads as part of their coursework. She is thinking of attending a few of those too.

I spent most of the Christopher-free afternoon doing more digitising of files. This is getting more and more interesting as I go on. I have found a couple more crimes that would make brilliant novel plots. I’ve taken a few notes on my tablet about the interesting ones.

Back home Laura had cooked dumplings for the stew we’d put in before we left for work. They were really tasty, she’d added rosemary to the suet mix, which was unexpected but worked a treat. She then zoomed off to the restaurant, driving herself down in quokka, leaving me to continue my embroidery. [I have started a tree of life panel for Feli’s Casket.] She rolled back in at about 11.20 to find me fast asleep on the sofa with Callie pushing the zeds on the rug in front of the stove. I had put Tubular Bells on repeat and it was playing softly to itself as she came in. I guess that must have been what sent me off to sleep.

Just a swift stroll for the useless guard dog tonight [she hadn’t moved a muscle when Laura came in!] and then the sleep of an innocent soul took me through the night.

Wednesday 13^th November.

I woke up from a strange dream about having a baby to find I was actually suckling! It was Laura, gently licking my left nipple while her fingers were playing with my labia. What a wonderful way to be woken up! I guess this is how Richard must have felt when he woke up to find he was already inside my vagina as I’d eased myself on to his morning glory.

It was only about 5am but I instantly found the energy to respond in kind. Callie was confused when she padded up the stairs at 6am to find her mistress already up and about and Laura raring to take her for a walk too.

We had the usual swim and after breakfast made our way into the city. Ms Geary had left a note in my in-tray so I went to her office to see what she wanted. It was to pick my brains about the Lake District. She was thinking of spending the Christmas and New Year period up there and wondered if I could recommend somewhere. I was really disappointed. I thought she might have been wanting me to get involved in some research for her again.  I seriously toyed with the idea of offering her a place at Dad’s as I am going to be house and dog sitting there over the holidays [with the Lollster] but I chickened out. I promised I would put together a list for the end of the day. 

By 5pm she actually came down to ARR and asked if I had anything for her. I gave her a printout of the notepad document I’d compiled and then went, “Actually… If you want to stay with a local who could guide you on walks, and the like, and take you to stuff that the Cumbrians do over Christmas, I am house sitting Dad’s place. He’ll be in Australia and I was conned in to doing it. It has five bedrooms so there’s plenty of room. You’d be welcome to stay there if you want?”

I was expecting her to dismiss the idea out of hand; to my surprise she asked me where Dad’s was and how far from the National Park. She seemed really keen on the idea. She said she’d have to ask her partner and then get back to me. Either this will be a major feather in my cap or a total “Whoops!” Still, I would enjoy having someone to guide up the fells over winter. I did at one point investigate becoming a volunteer ranger but the time commitment was too great.

Laura was amazed that she had even taken the time to consider it. She has made a bet that she will accept the offer. If she wins I have to be her slave for a week. [She’ll be mine if I win.]

Lorraine’s meal for the night was a version of Duck a la Orange. It was really tasty and cooked just how I like it, that is, still pink in the middle. A couple of the girls were unsure about that but they ate it anyway.

Laura and I had gone in extreme dress tonight. Well, sort of extreme. She had on a tight mini dress that just covered her bum and was so tight you could almost see her heart beat through it. She borrowed my porn star stilettos, with the Perspex sole and four inch heel [Richard bought them for me along with some saucily sexy underwear once.] I had tight leather hipster jeans on and a sports bra top, it doesn’t look like a bra which is why I wear it as an ordinary top, plus a short denim jacket. I had the ubiquitous heeled ankle boots on, they are so comfy. We had done identical make up and matching nails. I thought we were stunning.

There were 10 of us tonight which is quite a high number; we usually average 8. Lorraine’s home is in a 1980s private flat development at Crosspool. The flat was very tastefully decorated and extremely tidy. It has great views to the south looking over towards where my Mum lives. It was on the third floor and had a hall way and stairs that could have actually been inside someone’s home. I have never seen a set of stairs in a block of flats that was so well cared for. The rooms were also so well insulated you couldn’t hear anything from the neighbouring flats.

One bit of scandal, she did tell us she thought a high class prostitute was working from a ground floor flat as the number of men visitors she seemed to have was huge! Obviously this was only conjecture on her part, but interesting all the same. We asked what the neighbours would make of a group of women all turning up at her place. She said she’d told them she was having an Ann Summers party!

Lorraine and Sue were full of the climbing they’d done on Sunday and I had to explain why I enjoyed it and how I had started. They assumed that Laura had been climbing since she was little, coming as she did from the Lake District. She had to confess that it was me who had dragged her into Borrowdale when she was a young teenager so I could have a climbing companion nearer my own age and of the same gender. She also told them that it was my confidence [bossiness] and taking charge of things [also bossiness!] that were some of the factors that had made her fall in love with me when she was a youngster. I just sat there and got redder and redder. They asked her what the others were, as you can imagine. So I was party to Laura’s confession about the way I had captured her heart and how she felt it would be a completely lost cause, especially when I became engaged to Richard. [I sort of knew all this, but it is weird hearing it being told to a whole group of other people.]

They thought she was a very determined and single minded young lady to have kept a candle burning even though she thought the whole affair was futile. I just kept cringing more and more into my seat with embarrassment [and yet a part of me felt incredibly proud that she could open up like this to a group of relative strangers – to her that is].

This lead on to a series of anecdotes about how each of them had met their partners / husbands. I was asked about the “famous” Richard. So I went through the whole ‘argument at my tutor’s party story’ for what must be the umpteenth time. A couple were surprised that I had actually fallen in love with Laura after being so staunchly heterosexual [I didn’t know whether to be insulted or flattered] and they all thought that what we had together was very special. It is. I think that every time I wake up next to her.

One of my e-mail contacts remarked to me on Tuesday I had better be careful because of all the women I knew who were falling pregnant, he hoped I wouldn’t catch the same thing, well Rachel Harrison turns out to be the third woman [I can breathe a sigh of relief. LOL] She told us all this evening and as you can imagine everyone was really pleased for her. We were all bursting with questions and she was delighted with our reactions. I think it was Claire who asked “Was it planned or an accident?” That was the only slightly sour note, and the intake of breath was almost audible. Rachel was honest and said it was sort of planned, but all she had done was stop taking the pill and sure enough, four months afterwards she was with child. It’ll be a June baby. We all got a bit broody after this revelation, as you can imagine. I was hoping nobody would ask me or Laura whether we wanted to be Mums. They did. Laura came out with an emphatic, “No Way”, which sort of stifled further questions, I was honest and told them I sort of did and sort of didn’t.

We had an enjoyable time together, as we always do. Very silly, very giggly, quite raucous. We zoomed off home at about 11.30 leaving four of the girls still there.

Thursday 14^th November.

Usual walk and swim and then we both went to Uni an hour early. As we were skiving off later we thought putting an extra hour in during the morning would be useful. I was doing very nicely through one of the [many] inventory lists when Feli arrived. She was a bit out of breath and had to confess that her BF had stayed the night again and they had shagged until the early hours – and then some.

She thought the design I had chosen for the tree of life for the cabinet was really good. She was surprised at how far I had got with it already. To be honest, this is only an outline of the whole design and part of the tree trunk and branches.

We kept on with our translation until 1pm when I left to pick up Laura and go home. Feli is on the official list of people to take with us to Arran next year. She’s going to cover for me tomorrow.

We left home at about 2pm and were pulling into Dad’s drive at just before 5. I was really impressed that the traffic had been so light. Louisa had dinner almost ready when we arrived and we sat down to a hearty beef stew [and suet dumplings] at about quarter to six. That’s the same meal twice in one week!

Dad had a pub quiz match at 8pm, so I accompanied him while Laura went round to her folks’ house. Dad’s team won by about 14 points and as before the Dad / Daughter combination proved a wow. I have no idea where his team are in the league but as the league only started in October it’s early doors yet.

Back at Dad’s Laura had retired so Dad joined me walking Callie and his pack up the hill to the wind turbines. He was quite chatty and obviously excited about Arran. It turns out he even was more excited about the trip to Australia. He hasn’t been there for ages. He was back home the year after I had my Gap Year before University, so that makes it 2006 or 2007! Surprisingly he is also very excited about a new grandchild. I shouldn’t be surprised I suppose.

Half way up the hill he asked me, “What do you think about Louisa and me trying for a baby?” Thanks Dad. I really needed that sort of question.

I told him I thought it was a bit of a shock but if they were both OK with it, what I thought didn’t matter at all. I jokingly said, if it would help I’d have one and let them have it! Stupid bloody mouth of mine. We walked back in a bit of an uneasy silence. Why the hell do I do it?

At the bottom of the stairs I gave him a hug and told him, “Look, Dad. If it happens I will be really pleased. You have to accept that it might not, though. Be happy with Louisa and take things as they happen.”

He kissed me, gently, on my forehead, ruffled my hair and said, “God, you are so like your mother.” I climbed the stairs wondering what the hell that meant.

Laura was lying on top of the bed waving the strappy at me as I came out of my en-suite. I didn’t need a second invitation. It is a good job I won’t be driving on Friday!

Two Concerts; One Weekend. Plus The Scampis Hijack me for rock climbing!

Friday November 8^th.

On my walk with Callie this morning I called at Onesacre Farm and told them about the bloke in the night, we’d encountered yesterday. The woman who answered the door seemed a bit dozy and I am not sure whether what I said to her meant anything or not. Perhaps she was just really sleepy, it was 6am after all and still quite dark. I only knocked at the door because there were lights ablaze in the kitchen. You could tell it was the kitchen because of all the lights. Still I have done my civic duty by telling her. You can’t do more than that, can you?

If anything makes my heart glad [apart from looking at Laura, something which I could do forever] it is listening to beautiful music play beautifully. Anyone who was lucky, sensible or savvy enough to be at Sheffield City Hall last night heard that sublime combination in Spades! The English Chamber Orchestra has just played the most amazing programme of music which will enthral those who already know the works and inspire those who don’t to listen again.

The programme opened with Prokofiev’s Symphony Number One “The Classical”. I know it was written in ironic response to the communist authority’s strictures on what was “acceptable” music but this has to be the most wonderful irony of all, it was brilliant. It always sounds fresh and new and their interpretation just enhanced that joyous feeling.

That a piano concerto was going to be on the programme would have been a bit obvious as the orchestra had one in front of them for their first piece and sure enough the Conductor settled behind it for their second; Mendelssohn’s First Piano Concerto. A sureness of touch and a wonderful lyricism meant this was as good as Sergei P’s opener for the evening.

We met Mrs Briggs [again] in the interval and she commented on how we both looked stunning – Laura and I had both done “girly” tonight and wore complimentary shades of blue, an effect that I thought looked wonderful before we set off, and Mrs B’s comment showed how right I was. She is often at these concerts and will be at all the International season ones too. She thought the Mendelssohn seemed a little too technical for her taste, I am afraid I had to disagree with her as I thought the conductor brought a delicacy of feeling to the piece. She told me that Christopher wasn’t coming to this evening’s performance which was a relief, TBH. Laura thinks it is funny that I have an admirer who’s a mathematician as she is also an admirer and mathematician. She wondered if I attracted maths addicts?

The second half was just as good as the first. The Faure Pavane was very good indeed but the icing on the cake was definitely the Mozart. Leaving it until last meant everyone in the hall went home cheered and uplifted after such a rousing performance. It is probably Mozart’s best known and best loved Symphony and they played with gusto for such a small orchestra.  I honestly don’t think there was a piece to touch it until a certain Ludwig came along a few decades later. [His works have never been surpassed in my humble opinion!]

The next International event is Britten’s “War Requiem” on December 1^st but I decided not to go to that one. Britten quite often, to my ears, doesn’t sound right – so I avoid listening to him if I possibly can. Our next event is at the University this coming Sunday when we are off to hear Handel’s Music for Vespers by the English Touring Opera and the Cathedral Choir. I asked Mrs B if she was going but she didn’t even know it was on! I obviously have my ear closer to the ground than she does. I was also able to tell her about Ensemble 360 also playing at the Firth Hall on the 19^th of November. I piqued her interest with this one as they are playing the Debussy String Quartet that has the Gamelan Style passages in it. She said she might attend that one and I had to give her more information next Tuesday.

We had a very energetic evening after the concert and both of us were exhausted after taking turns with our strappy! Mmmmm……….

Saturday 9^th November.

I had a mega mega clean this morning. Laura and I went swimming as usual and then I got down to blitz the house. I started with the study this time and worked my way downstairs. I was sorely tempted to clean in the cellar, but a quick sweep round with the duster and the floor brush was my compromise.

I think Callie was looking forward to a Long Walk but the weather was excessively Grottsville. We even had our first flurry of snow overnight. [Well, OK, I concede it may have been excessive hail rather than snow, but whatever it was there was a light covering the further up the hill I went.] Callie loves snow and had a whale of a time trying to catch the ice balls I threw for her. Tricky in the dark, really, but she enjoyed it. It made my hands freezing cold though. I spent the rest of her dog walk with my hands thrust deep into my pockets trying to bring back the circulation to my fingers!

Laura still can’t quite get her head round why I have to clean so thoroughly. I have tried to explain it to her, but I suppose unless you have OCD it is difficult to comprehend the feeling of terror when things aren’t the way you want them. The only way to reduce that feeling is to make sure everything is perfect! You could eat off my kitchen floor! I know it is stupid and silly but it is something I HAVE to do.

Once I had worked out my obsession it was the time to Skype the folks in Australia. We had a long old chat about Dad and Louisa’s impending visit. I tried my best to give a frank and unbiased description of Louisa but I had to hold back on one vital piece of information. [I haven’t told her because it may freak her out, but Louisa does remind me a hell of a lot of Susannah! I don’t mean in appearance but in manner and demeanour. There have been a couple of times when I have bit my tongue in Louisa’s company as I was either about to say, “that is just like Suze” or worse, been about to call her Suze instead of Louisa. Did Dad marry a woman who reminded him of his eldest daughter?]

I actually get on very well with her, now I have got to know her a little better. She doesn’t say much about her first marriage or speak of her daughter, whom she didn’t contest custody of when the divorce was arranged but I guess that is only to be expected, isn’t it? She and I have a relationship similar to that of Suze and me. I simply can’t call her Mum so she is Lou and I am Vic. It works for us. [Vic is what Dad called me for ages and ages. So much so that when I met some of his new colleagues at Sheffield – where he worked before his current post – they were expecting a boy not a girl!]

I was hoping to have a private chat with Jill but that was not to be. I tried to give her an oblique message about contacting me with any worries but as I addressed it to all three kids she may not have sussed what I meant. Annabelle is still as delightful as ever. She has had her fringe put back in her hair, just like I did. She does look a bit like a mirror image of me [with darker hair and fewer freckles!]. She still says she misses me sooo much and why can’t I come out with Dad and Louisa? I explained about house sitting and dog sitting but she just said that Phil could do it. You can tell she hasn’t met Phil! She knows Loll and I will be out in our summer but she says she simply can’t wait that long; she’ll burst! At this point Jeff obligingly told us that she has been bursting out of her T-shirts – they then disappeared from view having a sibling fight! I did think she had developed a bit in the few weeks since I had last seen her, but it certainly wasn’t the sort of thing I would mention in front of everyone. Brothers, eh?

After our Skyping we went and caught a tram into town and had a wander round, a window shop and a cuppa in John Lewis’. We actually bumped into two of the Scampi Tails in there; Lorraine and Sue. They were doing the same as Laura and me but had actually bought some stuff as well. Sue had this gorgeous blouse which was in grey chiffon and looked really delicate. She told me where the shop was but of course when we parted we didn’t bother going in. The girls were saying they would like to go rock climbing sometime. I had mentioned that I was teaching it to some Undergraduates on Wednesday evenings during the summer and they had seemed keen to have a go too. I was a bit surprised, but what the hell, if they want to try it why not? I told them to give me a buzz on the next clear weekend day, so we could use our practice pitches on Stanage Edge.

After Lewis’ we went to Pollards and I bought another 250 grams of my tea. They have a system there where you can have your own blend made up and they write the ingredients and proportions down in a ledger, so that when you go in you simply say could I have xx grams of Miss Smith’s tea, please? They look it up in the ledger and then blend it for you there and then. It is so cool. It is mainly an Earl Grey black china tea blend but with a dash of chamomile too. That extra little dash makes all the difference to the flavour. I experimented for ages to try and match the flavour of Lipton’s Old Earl Grey Blend they used to sell in Australia. They changed their recipe in 2006 and it is nowhere near as nice as it used to be. I think I have arrived at a pretty close match by experimenting with teas from Pollards.

Laura had the first of the Christmas Parties tonight at the restaurant. Pretty early for a Christmas Party but I suppose that you have to go where the spaces are. She made over £40 again in tips. I don’t know how she does it. She then spent a few very enjoyable minutes tipping my velvet. Mmmm…

Sunday 10^th November.

I actually stuck my poppy through a button hole on my duffel coat as I walked Callie this morning. It seemed like the thing to do. I was greeted by an old duffer in Sylvia’s shop who went on and on about how many young people didn’t seem to want to wear the poppy anymore and he was incensed by white poppy wearers.

I bit my tongue as I didn’t want to let him know how I thought the whole thing was so bloody hypocritical, especially having Butcher Haig’s name on the front of the sodding thing. But I didn’t. I held my ammo in reserve. Believe me, I have enough ammo to sink both fleets at Jutland once I get going. I am a historian though, so it is only natural I should. 

Back home we’d had a phone call. Really bloody early I thought. It was Lorraine. Today looked like being a really fine day, did we want to go to Stanage Edge? Oh bugger! You make these daft promises on the understanding people don’t take them up. I checked with Laura, she was all for it, so I told Lorraine to be at the top of Burbage Brook at 10.30! I sorted out enough slings and harness etc so we didn’t have to share and piled it all on the back seat of the quokka. We almost drove off leaving all the ropes on the kitchen table though!

It was really sun and surprisingly warm in the sun, in the shadow it was a bit cooler though. There was no sign of Lorraine or Sue so we sat in the car for a while and then headed towards the pitches. I set up a belay point at the top and Loll climbed the first pitch. She is getting better and better. We swapped and I swarmed up in next to no time. We decided to see who could cover it the quickest [I know, silly and dangerous but we were bored] next. I managed four and a half minutes, Loll did it in five. We heard a “Yoo Hoo!” away towards the top of Burbage Brook and sure enough Lorraine and Sue, Rachel and Ann were heading across towards us.

I did the tutor thing while Loll belayed me then we let them loose. Well, we let L & S loose.

I took Rachel and Ann to the second pitch, set up another belay and showed them the route free climbing. I thought it would save time. They were just gobsmacked. I hadn’t really thought about it, I’d just set off; calling down to them as I went,  telling them about the tricky bits. [There aren’t any really, that’s why we use them as novice pitches.] They had a bit of trouble with the first big step – people often do on here. You have to put your foot at about waist  height and reach for a ledge with your hand which is quite a stretch. Ann couldn’t make it, so I scrambled down again and showed them the opening moves once more. This time I got them both onto the first little step and made them get off a couple of times so they felt more confident, then I climbed up the route again back to my belay position. They made it eventually but very red in the face and out of breath. They both took about fifteen minutes.

Laura came over and climbed my pitch with Lorraine and Sue while I took Rachel and Ann to Laura’s pitch. This one is easier although there is a layback up a crack for a while, which needs to be done in one go or your arms turn to jelly after a while if you stop for a rest. I did explain this to them. They both made a much better fist of this one and after about forty minutes we all met up at the foot of the third pitch we’d chosen. This one is longer and steeper but has some really good holds in the millstone grit. The tricky bit for the novice is a chimney section near the top. Laura climbed as I belayed and she called out what they needed to do at each section. She then took over the belay and I free climbed alongside each of the Scampis as they came up. This actually took far longer than I had thought it would and at the top we decided to call it a day and head for the pub in Ringinglow.

At the pub they were all excited and giggly and suddenly all experts after a few simple pitches. You are at first. I have seen it so many times. What pleased me the most was that none of them wimped out, they all had a go. Even when Ann was left dangling like a weight on a pendulum on the last pitch, she kept going once I had got her hands and feet back on the route. Naturally they all wanted to do some more, so I promised them they could come out with us again when we had another fine morning.

Lunch was a little over cooked when we got back. The pork joint just fell to pieces. It was gloriously tender though. Loll had a shower while I cooked the veggies and then after lunch I was going to have my shower but we ended up sharing and I didn’t actually wash myself, Laura made me stand there and be washed! I don’t think she did as good a job of the washing as I would have done but I suppose when the person you are washing is busy putting their fingers inside you it can be a bit distracting.

The Handel Music for Vespers was excellent. Although I must say the turn out could have been better. The Cathedral Choir were a revelation. I knew they were a professional lot but I had taken that with a pinch of salt. Just shows how wrong you can be! The whole programme was over far too quickly. We will have to see when the CC is performing again. The English Touring Opera was probably doing its token visit to the grim north for the year but the CC should have more engagements nearer Christmas [well you’d have thought they would].

All in all it turned out to be quite an unexpectedly eventful day. I imagine the girls will be full of the climbing on Wednesday when it is our next Girly Dining Club meeting at Lorraine’s house. I wonder if by then she’ll have become an expert!

Callie was absolutely pooped after her exertions on Stanage. She kept going between the foot of the climb and the belay points over and over again during the morning. Daft bugger. She was fast asleep in her crate when we went out to the Firth Hall and it didn’t look like she’d moved much when we got back. She made a half-hearted attempt to greet us when we came in and then went back to her bed in her crate. On our final walk she performed the necessary, then turned and gave me a real hang doggy look, as if to say, “Do we have to go all that way? Look, I’ve done what I was supposed to!” When I said, “All right. That’ll do then!” she was off down the lane before I could grab her to snap her lead back on!

A Gruesome Murder and Feli's sexlife! [No, there is no connection!]

Monday November 4^th.

I slept the sleep of the innocent last night.

Out for the count.

I got Laura to drop me off along the road to home so I could walk Callie in and use that as her final walk of the day, which meant we didn’t get home just for me to have to go out again with the dog. Sensible even when sleepy. Eh?

Swim and walk again this morning, only two days swimming missed but it seemed longer. Loll actually came down for a swim on the Friday that I was in York, I know I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. I‘d have thought she’d have had a lie in. Good for her.

Why couldn’t we have had today’s weather yesterday? It would have made the Blake Fell stroll even better and maybe that guy wouldn’t have succumbed to hypothermia too. It was one of those days which make you feel that nature is deliberately thumbing her nose at you! You are back at work so she makes the day glorious. Still a 90 minute lunch break meant we could stroll through the park next to the University buildings and drink in the autumnal warmth.

Feli has located another casket. Not the one in Edinburgh that the collections manager told us about, this one is in North Wales. She was busy finding out about it during the morning and getting full details of the Edinburgh one too. She has asked me if I want to go before Christmas or after. I think after would be preferable. She was pleased with my choice. Could be something to do with her finding another new guy on Saturday night! She is as bad as I was in a previous life!

I have been collating all the stuff we have on the boxes so far. I think we may have enough, by the time we have done, for a second submission. We will certainly have enough to try and get it published as a book. Some of the stitching photographs I have taken are really good. You can see the threads so clearly and can, with a bit of imagination, work out what the stitch style has become today, if you see what I mean?

I photographed the Susan woman’s embroideries in her house too, while we were there. I came across them while collating all our photographs onto one SD card. There is one which is exquisite. I have e-mailed her to ask if she can tell me where the design came from so I can make one myself. [This is the woman from Halifax who had a family heirloom casket. I think I have mentioned it already.]

Not much of a day really. It is a shame it is dark in the evenings now. I miss being able to do stuff in daylight after work. Still it’s only a few months before the longer nights return. I will cope.

Laura had a busy night at work tonight and she looks to be busy all week. Dominic has a few hen nights booked in and one very early Christmas do for this week! She made over £40 in tips this evening! Bet she will make a mint this week if they are all as generous.

Tuesday November 5^th.

Hoorah. Let’s celebrate killing Catholics!

Actually, we really need a Guy Fawkes today. If he tried to blow up Parliament today I don’t think anyone would try and stop him! In fact I’d go along and keep watch so he wouldn’t get arrested! Our politicians are just a set of total scumbags. There is a debate about the people disconnecting with their politicians, I am not in the least surprised. They live their millionaire life styles, completely divorced from reality and are currently trying to blame the poor for all the country’s troubles. PMQ’s are a prime example of why the public hate politicians; they are like bloody children squabbling in the playground. We seriously need a “None of the above” box on our ballot papers to show the fcuking tw@ts just what we think of them. Plus if “None of the above won” it would have to mean a revote with different candidates! Sorry. Rant over.

Swimming today was a lot colder, for some reason. It wasn’t the pool water but the changing rooms that seemed particularly cold. It appears that someone left a skylight open over night! They are lucky there wasn’t a break in through it. Still what could they have stolen, really? Pssst, wanna buy a 100 swimming floats? Only used once!

Guess who came down to see me in ARR again this afternoon? I think I will have to fit him with a security tag which sounds when he comes through the outer office door, and then I can go and hide somewhere rather than make inane conversation with him. I hope I don’t get him as Secret Santa that would be too awful to contemplate!

I told Mrs Briggs about the Judge mistaking me for her and she thought it was very funny, and very typical of him. This is kind of worrying really; I hope he is the exception in our judiciary not the norm. She was surprised that Alison had invited me as I must be the most junior level of employee at XXX & Y who has received an invitation to one of her shindigs. I am not going to question my good fortune; I merely hope I get asked again. Mrs B. thinks that Christopher will always be dogging my footsteps as long as he remains single. As he is in his late twenties already remaining single looks like it could be a distinct possibility. I don’t know what he’s doing wrong. He is not a train wreck in appearance. He isn’t pervy or anything in his manner. Maybe he is just being over keen as he was with me. I wonder if I could fix him up with one of my Undergraduate tutees? No, that would be so wrong. It would get him off my case though, wouldn’t it?

More prenuptial shenanigans at the restaurant for Laura tonight and another packet made in tips! I went to pick her up and Dominic asked me about Dad’s and my ‘wine trip’ to Germany. Could I get him some bottles of the Dornfelder we’d had? I had to explain that I didn’t think so as Dad uses every bit of space in the car to pack in other goodies as well.  Lebkuchen, Stollen, Wurst, all sorts of things Germanic to eat during the first few months in the New Year. I did promise to ask if Dad could find room but told him not to hold his breath. This year he is talking of just him and Louisa going so he can let the back seat down and get even more stuff in. Which might mean I don’t get to see Uncle Hilmar in Cochem at all! [We call him uncle but he’s really a cousin!]

Startling revelation time, Laura’s and my periods started on the same day today. Spooky eh? Perhaps there is an unconscious synchronicity in our hormones? I will have to do some research.

Wednesday November 6^th.

The whole day in the Archives today, and most of it spent digitising stuff again. Mrs Briggs is of the opinion I am being overlooked for Case Law searches as I’m not there everyday like I used to be. She may be right. The paranoid person may think it is all a big conspiracy to drive me away from the firm. I am not paranoid. Plus the digitising is fascinating. I am reading some really interesting and sometimes gruesome cases from the past. There was a particularly unpleasant murder of one Gay Guy by his lover in the 1970s which was very nasty indeed. Apparently one of the guys had been unfaithful to the other so in a bid to get revenge, the one cheated on planned a nasty accident. He knew that for self-gratification his lover used to use a broom handle in the bathroom. The lover would stand with one foot on the toilet and one foot on the sink and lower himself up and down onto the broom handle. The betrayed party went into the house and partially unscrewed the bolts holding the sink to the wall.

The result? When the cheat was in the middle of lowering himself on to the handle the sink came away from the wall and he was impaled on the broom handle which went all the way through his body to his diaphragm! [It killed him, obviously.] Some canny plod worked out what had happened and the betrayed chap was sent away for a long time. Apparently the idiot had left a load of finger prints around the area of the bracket even though he claimed he had never done any work in the bathroom ever.

The idea of the broom handle being the thing that killed him in that way is too awful to imagine really, isn’t it? This has been the most gruesome case I have found to date in the archives. I bet there’ll be dozens, if not hundreds more.

No visit from Christopher today, which was a bonus. I have been asked if I want to take part in Secret Santa again this year. Naturally I agreed. The limit this year is still £15 which is entirely reasonable; it stops those with loads of money being thoroughly extravagant. The names will be passed round by the 23^rd of the month giving us a full month to buy our recipient their present.

Just worked out it was a good job we aren’t going to Arran this week, we are seeing the English Chamber Orchestra on Friday at the City Hall. Laura reminded me of it when I got home from work. Prokofiev’s Classic Symphony is one of the items and a real favourite of mine. The rest of the concert has Mendelssohn’s First Piano Concerto, Faure’s Pavane and it concludes with Mozart Jupiter Symphony. A whole host of popular classics that should be an absolute treat. I hadn’t forgotten; I had just failed to remember! Laura hadn’t heard Prokofiev Symphony 1 so I played it while we had our meal. She was absolutely stunned by it. It is really accessible and very clever.

I relayed the news to Dom that Dad would include a few cases of Hilmar’s Dornfelder, via Laura and then spent a long time sending e-mails to Australia about Dad & Louisa’s visit. I am Skyping the antipodes on Saturday so I can give Susannah a warts and all picture of our step-mum before she arrives. Plus Annabelle is bursting to talk to me face to face again. The little treasure.

I had Mozart 41 playing when Loll came back in from work. She said, “Wow, this is good!” She hadn’t heard that before either! This girl has severe gaps in her musical education. LOL I bet she could say exactly the same about me. All I know of “popular” music is what I get from my Dad! It is bit odd a 60 year old giving his daughter tips about that kind of music, it is often [usually] the other way round.

Thursday 7^th November.

Feli slept with her new guy last night! She was full of the news this morning. I thought she was excited about the work or the casket or something but apparently not, it was all about Gregory. He is 28 and a doctor’s son who works in an agricultural research lab in the city. She invited him back for a coffee after their cinema trip [Gravity, in 3D] and things went pretty 3D at her flat. He stayed the night. Managed three more times during the night and didn’t hog the duvet! I think she is smitten.

No, I will rephrase that last comment, I KNOW she is smitten. 

They are seeing each other at the weekend and I am not sure whether I ought to send this Gregory some vitamin pills because she is planning a shagathon with him. She is going to get him to stay on Friday night again and then is hoping she can persuade him to stay and fcuk throughout the entire weekend. He is a guy, I told her, he’ll think all his Christmases have come at once! I hope that, if she succeeds, I don’t get a detailed step by step account of everything she did with him like I had about last night.

Yes, I did know semen in the eye stings like hell.

Yes, I did know a circumcised penis looks different to an un-snipped one.

Yes, I did know that, even using your mouth, a guy isn’t ready again for at least half an hour, sometimes longer.

Yes, I did also hate the horrible trickling sensation his cum makes when it seeps out of you, as you are lying hugging afterwards!

Yes, I do know the guy avoids sleeping in the wet patch!

Thanks Feli, for that non-new information.

Arrggghhh!

There was more but I have refrained from describing the veins on his penis or anything else she told me. A part of me wondered whether the whole detailed explanation was her way of saying, Actually I don’t want to have sex with you really!

When I told all this to Laura she was amused and surprised. As a virgin, she has not encountered any of this before and as a lesbian she has no desire to either. She was most surprised by the semen trickling out again revelation. I admit I was when it first happened. I don’t think I’ve encouraged any rush for her to go out and try it especially when I described how, when lying on your side after he has fired his load inside, you can get a trickle of spent semen running down your thigh. Yuck and double yuck.

Periods. I have discovered that synchronising of menstrual cycles does occur quite naturally, especially among women who live very closely together in an emotional situation. Mmmm…. I suppose being in love with each other and having passionate sex every time we can counts as an emotional situation. Apparently Nuns do it [no, not have sex every time they can! Pervy thought…] and women held as prisoners can too. It has been known for the entire inmates of women’s prisons to be ‘on’ all at the same time! This is not an urban myth, there is evidence for it and a couple of studies into the phenomenon too.

Callie, on her final walk of the day, spooked a guy wandering around the road to Onescare whom I have never seen before. [He spooked me a bit to be honest.] I don’t think he was a drunk wandering home, he may have been up to no good though. When she barked at him he turned tail and fled down the road that leads to Coombes Brook in the bottom of the valley. I had to call her back from running after him. In the cold light of day I’ll ask at the farm on the corner if there has been any “trouble” recently. I had my mega bright torch with me [as usual], but I didn’t shine it at his face. I don’t do so because I think it is rude. Maybe I should have done?

Hypothermia on the Fell Tops. Plus disappointed salesmen.

Friday 1^st November.

Waking up in a strange room in the arms of a strange woman isn’t something I have done very often. In fact I’ve not done it at all before, ever. Now, waking with a strange guy in a strange room – that I have done a few times. I will not dwell on it though.

I thought it was Laura at first and spoke to her as though it was. I jumped out of bed and went for a shower. She was dressed and had made some tea by the time I came out. She didn’t say anything about wanting to share so neither did I. I mean it’s not as though we did anything, is it?

We walked around the walls this morning, on the way to the museum, dodging the spots of rain which was quite interesting but not as good as Chester which seems to have an almost complete circumnavigation of the old city by its walls. There is surprisingly little of old Eboracum extant which was a pity. There are some fascinating artefacts in the museum though, including some phenomenally delicate glassware. I can’t believe how skilled the Romans were, every time I see something as beautiful as their glass. It shows how much we lost when the empire went belly up. Just think how technologically advanced we would be today had he empire survived?

We spent until 1pm on the casket as arranged and then the colections manager put it to bed. She was keen to see what we had done so far with the other ones, so I showed her some of the pictures on my tablet. She was quite impressed and told us that if we went on like this we could become the foremost experts on them. [Now there’s a thought!]

I persuaded to Feli to try the Railway museum again and there was no queue! The demographic inside was almost stereotypical, men out numbered he women by about 12 to 1. It was swarming with kids, as half term is still on in York. I took a lot of pictures of the A4 Pacifics to give to Dad. I was sure he’d be thrilled!

In a way they have a kind of elegant beauty about them. You can understand why men, who are usually quite passionless creatures, get all emotional about them. I imagine once they are fired up they are almost like a living creature. One which, in order to function properly, requires really dedicated human / machine interaction.

Sheffield by 2.30pm and up in Cumbria at Dad’s by half past five. Phew. There’s driving! Laura skipped the afternoon and was ready to pick me up and go from the station. Callie was a bit surprised to see me and we had a swift meet and greet in the car park. The M61 / M6 was not nearly so busy as I had thought it would be I supposed Cumbria must still be on half term too.

I took over driving after the Tebay services and raced a convoy of idiots up to Shap summit. Three of them followed me all the way along the A66 but I lost them all at the chicane section of road by Bassenthwaite Lake. My new car does the twists and bends on that section of dual carriageway far better than the Picanto did. It is almost as good as driving it in my Dad’s 2cv.

Dad has put Beasley away for the winter. He always does. I love that little old car. He loved the photographs of the Railway Museum, so much so he is planning on going down himself before the 11^th, when they all go their separate ways again until February. He, in this case, means he and Louisa as she seems to be as mad about trains and train travel as Dad. I guess it is all the train travel he did as a youth. He did “Interrail” three times, during his time as a student.

Loll wandered off to the Thomas home for her evening meal and filial duty. I went round after my meal and we again showed her Mum and Dad that we are a serious couple once. Molly is quite happy that her daughter is happy, Eric still seems to have a simmering resentment lurking beneath the surface. If I wasn’t my Dad’s daughter I guess I wouldn’t be shown house room if Eric had his way. Still every little acceptance by her Dad makes it easier in the long run.

The fact that I had spent a night away from Laura made our loving making quite intense tonight. I never cease to be amazed by the inventive ways she brings me to orgasm.

Saturday 2^nd November.

Kendal Caravans is nowhere near Kendal, it must be a good 10 miles out of town on the way to Kirkby Stephen! They did have a fairly large selection of static vans on display and we were allowed to wander around and look in every one on the site, if we wanted. They didn’t have the ABI Ambleside, which I had liked the look of, but they had some stunners there instead. The prices of some of them! I was a bit shocked at how expensive some of them were!

The salesman could sense a looming sale at first but he was disappointed. Whatever we decide, the site owner on Arran deals with everything, once we have told him which van we want on the pitch. Naturally we didn’t tell the salesman this. Especially not as he called Laura and I Dad’s daughters! [And told Louisa she didn’t look old enough to be our mother!] We both liked a Swift model which had French doors out of the front and also a separate lounge section. [Glad I was proved right. Even Dad had to agree, that the sections being divided made it feel more like a real house than a caravan. Which was my point entirely.]

We spent three hours at the dealership and you could almost feel the disappointment when we went off without buying anything! Our next step is for us all to go across to Arran and look at the site together. That is planned for next weekend. If I can get the Friday off, we’ll drive to Dad’s next Thursday night so we can leave early on Friday to get the 9.45 ferry to Arran; then spend the day at the site and negotiate with the owner [That’ll be Dad’s job.] Two nights at a B & B then back on the early ferry on Sunday morning. This way we can have a break at Dad’s before driving back to Sheffield or spend the night there and drive down early on the Monday. I am really excited! Whoo Hoo!

Went to a soggy firework display organised by the village hall committee, which was OK apart from the wetness, but they had a brilliant after fireworks supper arranged which went down a treat. It was a bring your own booze affair [cheaper than applying for a temporary licence] so we had a half case between us. I am afraid I got a bit tiddly and told Louisa I would really love to have a baby brother or sister. Ooops! Wrong thing to say. They have been for tests to see why she hasn’t conceived yet and the conclusion is that it is down to her age. Everything is working fine for both parties, it’s simply nature being a bit tardy as Louisa is now 43! I felt so awful for having brought up what has obviously been difficult for both of them. TBH, I hadn’t realised how serious they were about having a child together [I’d put it down to just talk…  Shows how ‘off’ my radar is at times, eh?]

More worrying from my perspective is the thought that conception at a later age may be more difficult that I had previously thought. Am I being silly thinking that I can delay motherhood until my late thirties? Oh, shitehawks. I really should have kept my stupid mouth shut.

I was quite upset when we went to bed and poured out my fears and worries to Laura. She knows what I feel about being a Mum and we have talked about all sorts of weird and wonderful scenarios to get me or her or both of us pregnant. Having spoken to someone who seems to be trying desperately but unsuccessfully to have a baby is a very worrying thing to do. I have another nagging doubt now, lurking in my little grey cells. Why do we make life difficult for ourselves? Why couldn’t I have this conversation with my Dad?

Sunday November 3^rd.

We for a walk up Blake Fell today. A family affair; I mean: Laura and me, Dad and Louisa and Molly and Eric, plus Loll’s kid brother! It looked as though the fells may get a drenching so we played save by going up one of the more westerly fells to avoid the rain. It didn’t work. It kept spitting at us for most of the day, which is quite dispiriting after a while.

However, we did our good deed for the day. Some kids from Whitehaven were out on Blake too, doing a DoE practice walk, one of them was looking decidedly ropey. They said “Hello” to us as we met at the cairn but I could see one of the guys was looking unwell. They stayed to fuss our dog pack and the other three admitted the guy had been looking listless and a bit stumbly for a while. Dad and I sort of reacted together and made the kid eat a chocolate bar immediately. We then dragged him into the summit shelter, sat him down and gave him a cup of hot tea from one of our flasks.

The group had plenty of cold drinks with them but nothing hot! Their finishing point for the day was the Lamplugh Tip pub where they were being picked up, so Dad insisted they joined with us and we accompanied them back down off the fell and then walked with them to the pub, the others went to the car park while Dad, Laura, Kid brother and I went with them to their rendezvous.

One of them phoned up the collecting parent as we walked through Lamplugh Green and at the pub they seemed a bit miffed that we had brought down their children a couple of hours earlier than planned! Dad explained that the guy to whom we had fed the chocolate, and the hot drink, had been displaying the classic signs of the early stages of hypothermia on the fell top and their planned route would have taken them ages to get down by which time he could have been unconscious or worse!  This seemed to appease the dozy dad in the car although the mum was much more supportive. They squeezed all six of them into their car and drove off to Whitehaven. Dad said, after they’d gone, “You know what? None of them said Thank You!”

Laura’s brother then asked us what all the fuss was about and what was hypothermia? Laura explained it to him in that sort of sarcastic tone only sisters can do to their siblings. Dad and I smiled at each other and I whispered, “Susannah!” to him. He agreed that she was doing a very good Susannah impression. She used to speak to me like that quite a lot when I was little. I used to think she was a stuck up, supercilious cow. Funny how other people say that about me now, isn’t it?

We trooped, in convoy, back to Dad’s, where all seven of us ate a huge roast dinner which had been slowly cooking away while we were being fell top Samaritans. Laura had brought the last of our apple cakes up for dessert [serves her right for eating it, LOL] and we had a jolly time recounting scrapes in the fells. Well, Dad and I did, the others it appears aren’t as avid fell walkers as the Dad / Daughter duo have been.

Doing a long walk on the same day as you are driving back home is probably not a very sensible thing to do. I was absolutely knackered as we drove past the Reebok Stadium, down the motorway. So Laura made me pull off at the next junction and then took over driving duties to get us safely back to Sheffield. If I had been alone I know I would have just carried on going and probably fallen asleep at the wheel.

When we got home Dad had left a message on our answer machine, moving the Arran trip back by a week. He had forgotten a conference he was scheduled to attend on the Thursday and Friday of the coming week. Never mind. We spent the late evening discovering that I had left my tablet in my bedroom at Dad’s. I phone him up to check but there was no reply. They had probably gone to the Bush for a Sunday night lock in. A regular occurrence it seems. I hope it is there. I am convinced I had on Saturday, so I haven’t left it in York.

Bloody gadgets are a nuisance, aren’t they?

He's still got the hots for me! Sleeping with a Frenchwoman.

Monday October 28th.

Quiet day really.
Did the day job.
Kept my head down and got on with stuff.
Walked the dog, swam, drove to work etc etc
Same as always.

Tuesday October 29th.

Was swamped at work this arvo by people wanting to know what Ms Geary’s party was like. It seems she doesn’t usually invite people from work to them. I could have made loads of stuff up but instead I told it like it was. Boring but safer I guess. I can imagine if half-truths or complete lies get back to Ms G I would really be in the brown and smelly.

I thought it was safe to recount the Judge mistaking me for Chrissie B. which tickled some people. Christopher put in an appearance all the way down to here from accounts. He is really just a love-sick puppy! He wanted to know about Peter and the Wolf [really?]. I am getting a bit worried about his attention.
Laura has got her next piece of work already! They don’t hang about in the maths department. It still looks as comprehensible as hieroglyphs to me! As usual I have offered to check the English for her if she wants, the maths? Pah!

Before I zoomed across to XXX & Y Felice told me she had found another casket to look at in York! We are going on Thursday and staying overnight so we can have more time examining it and looking in detail at the stitch work. Now she knows I am a bit of an embroiderer she has gone to town down a sort of tangent with us looking at the development of stitches from the Late mediaeval to the Present Day. We took loads of pictures and she drew a fair number of the stitches from the Brit Mu boxes and she wants to do the same in York. [She says it is a sort of insurance policy for us! I think I get what she means.]

Had a minor disagreement with Dad about Caravans! He liked my suggestion but wasn’t sure about having a lounge that was separate from the kitchen. He’s found another ABI which has a fire place in between the two so you can still see the kitchen from the lounge. My argument was this puts your back to the best view of all, out through the French windows and onto the Firth of Clyde. We agreed to differ until Saturday, when he is taking us all [him, Louisa, Laura and me] to Kendal Caravans to have a look around their stock “in the flesh”.

That has meant the trip to York will be cut short by a half on Friday. So I will have to contact Feli asap to see what can be done. I tried earlier on but her phone just went to voice mail. Ah well.
Wednesday 30th Oct.

The little toad has nailed his colours to the mast. “Can we be just good friends?” Oh, Christopher! How do I tell him, without hurting his feeling, that he is just a boring person? I know I shouldn’t but I can’t keep on just smiling and going along with things the way they are.

I asked Mrs B and she says I have to tell him straight. But I tried that over Concert Companions and look how the drongo managed to twist that round. Why are men such bloody pains at times? Even bloody Mr Carr came down to see if I had been gossiping about Alison’s party. I mean gossiping about what? When I asked him that question he seemed so relieved. I obviously missed something that went on, on Saturday night. I shall have to put my little grey cells onto the case. When I talked to the Lollster about it after our meal she said, “Oh, it was probably something to do with that woman who slapped his face in the utility room when I went to refill our glasses!”

One of the partners in our firm getting slapped in the face by a woman and Laura didn’t think to tell about it until now!!?? She said she had forgotten as it seems quite trivial to her. Trivial? Sounds like it could be serious. I am now more than determined than ever to get to the bottom of what happened on Saturday night. The difficulty, of course, is the fact I am only at XXX & Y one full day and one half day a week. How can I become a junior Miss Marple with only limited time on the case?

Maybe Dad knows something? That will be something to do on the Weekend, Pick his brains. Discretely. [Actually that may be easier said than done. He has pretty good radar for his baby daughter’s subterfuges. Rats and double rats!]

Thursday 31st October.

Laura is stepping up the crease ready to bat her opening innings as dog sitter and temporary house owner. I thought she’d be a bit miffed at our York trip but she’s cool with it.

We didn’t cut the trip short either, we were at the Museum from 1pm to closing today and will be there again from opening to 1pm tomorrow. I just get left in the dark about stuff sometimes! We also travelled across by train (not in Feli’s car!).

This was fun. Laura dropped us off at Midland Station at the crack of dawn and we caught a really early train to York via Wakefield and Leeds. We got to York at about 9.30am and had a good old wander and retail therapy after booking in at our hotel. Again, Feli had arranged an early arrival time for us today as we were departing early tomorrow. We have one room with twin beds. Should be interesting!

I have been to York before but as a toddler, then as a young girl. I think the last time I came I was about 10 or 11. You see things differently with an adult’s eyes. We had an hour in the Minster and I was really over-awed by the place. It is a lot bigger than you think, I suppose that is because it is sort of surrounded by buildings packing in closely for most of the way around it.

It has some wonderful stained glass. I can see why people want Richard III’s remains to be interred here. I am not taking sides on the issue. I think if they pay Leicester University all the costs they incurred in their discovery and excavation of his body then they could have him. I somehow don’t think they’ll be making that sort of offer, though!

Dad said we should go to the Railway Museum to see the A4 Pacifics. I mean, what? To be fair we did walk round to the museum only to be met with a humungous queue, so we gave it a miss. What the hell is an A4 Pacific? [Dad explained when I phoned him a few minutes ago. It’s a steam engine!] He reiterated the fact that I should go if I could, so I lied and said we would before we left on Friday.

The Museum is brilliant. I remember as a child just loving the street section. It was not so common when it was first done but now it is sort of de rigeur for Museum displays. We had a brief chat with the curator of exhibits and then with the person in charge of the casket itself. She was a mine of information, so much so we just recorded her description of the box to transcribe later. It was smaller than the Halifax one but had a lot more care taken over the embroidery. They have dated it to about 1590. However, that was done mainly through the artefacts found inside it, not by any other means that we could establish.

We filmed the box as the collection manager talked about it and then I took lots of close ups of the embroidery itself and macro photo’ed the stitching in several places. Although it was much more detailed and precise in the stitching, the scenes portrayed were very similar to the ones we have viewed already. Hardly surprising I guess, though, is it? We have measure and sketched and snapped and done everything I can think of to add to our records of caskets.

The best part about the afternoon was discovering that the collection manager knew of a casket where the embroideries had not been attached to their box. We have decided we will have to go and see that, however, she thinks it is in Edinburgh. She is going to find out for certain overnight and let us know in the morning.

Our overnight was interesting. We had a meal in a restaurant just along the street from our hotel and then hit the hotel bar. We must have had a bottle and a half of red wine and fended off advances from several Tyke Chancers before hitting the charp at about 11pm. Feli did suggest we select a chap and take him back to our room for sex but I think she was joking. I hope she was.

At about 1pm a small French figure slipped into my bed alongside me. I said NO, in as stern a voice as I could manage but she said It was OK she just wanted to sleep next to someone. It was probably the alcohol. She had emptied all the vodka from our mini bar when we got back. I woke up again at 5am to find my face full of French woman’s hair, she had managed to get her head onto my shoulder and was snuggling down under my chin.

I felt very proud of myself that I resisted the temptation of her slim Gallic body against mine. OK, we were in PJs but they are so easily removed. Plus, I thought back to the time we had almost made love back at her house and how guilty just the thought of cheating had made me feel. Extra brownie points to the silly blonde girl who allowed a weird French woman into her hotel bed.

If it had been a few years ago, I wouldn't even have entertained the thought. How you change as you get older!

Hob-Nobbing with a Judge!

Friday October 25^th.

Peter and the Wolf.

Well this has to be the best ever disappointment I have been to. I have been going on about the music [by Prokofiev] to this story all week with Angela and Peter [niece and nephew] when I have called them. They have even received my copy of the CD of the music to play before they went so they knew some of it before hand. Good old Amazon!

Imagine my shock [and their surprise] when the show and the music were different! Not to mention my Mum’s surprise!

But I get ahead of myself.

Usual walk and swim this morning, then phoned the Big Bro to see what was a foot. Yes, he did tell me it was twelve inches! If I ask him something he can make a joke from he is better to deal with for some reason. Men, eh?

So the plan: Jane was going to meet Mum at Meadowhall at about 1.00pm with Peter and Angela. They would do some retail at Meadowhall and have a spot of lunch, then Jane would zoom back to Leeds and Mum would rendez-vous with YT and the Lollster at the Montgomery Theatre at about 4.00pm. [We snook off University for the last bit of the arvo. The Kids are on half term!]

Sure enough we met Mum and sprogs as arranged. Mum kept telling them how she had taken me to see this in Norwich when I was a little girl [a sign of dementia? Saying the same thing again and again?]. Reading the programme /flyer thingy I could tell we weren’t getting Sergei P after all.

It might not have been Prokofiev but it certainly was brilliant! The story was told with puppets [by The Clydebuilt Company] and they were thoroughly marvellous. Huge, life size jobbies with the puppeteers walking along with them. The wolf was scary and friendly and humorous and deadly all at the same time, even though it was only a puppet! The music was a specially composed piece for the show and I thought it was just as good as Prokofiev’s work. At 9 and 7 Peter and Angela are an ideal age for something like this. I kept glancing across to see how they were enjoying it, they were enraptured by the whole thing.

Even more so after the show when we got to meet the puppets! The person working the duck asked Peter how much he liked it. He was gushing – in the way children are – about how he’d really, really enjoyed it. She then asked him if his Mummy and Granny had enjoyed the show. He told her that she was his granny but that I wasn’t his mummy. He then silenced the section of people by the duck with, “They’re Lesbians!” Duck lady merely said, “That’s nice!” Then started chatting to the next family. I thought Laura was crying at what had just transpired but it turns out she was quietly giggling. They thought the wolf was lovely. He had a good sniff of everybody and allowed the kids to scratch his head!

This company was brilliant. If they tour again with another show, while I have access to little kids to take along, then we’ll have to see them again. Even Mum thought they were magnificent, once she’d got over the shock of it not being what she had taken her youngest daughter to see in Norwich all those years ago.

The plan then was everyone trooped back to ours for dinner. Angela had asked for teatie pater pie, which was what she used to call Meat and Potato Pie when she was tiny, and that was what I has set up on the timer, for our meal. Mum drove up with the kids as Laura and I drove on ahead. The kids were going to spend the night with us and then we were going to drive them back up Horsforth in the morning. [Which is what we did.] Peter had the second bedroom and Angela had the daybed in the study.

When Mum and the kids finally arrived I could see she was fuming, so in a spare moment while Laura was keeping the littlies amused in the lounge I asked her what was wrong [I could guess, actually]. It was my bloody stupid brother. Using terms like lesbian and unnatural in front of his kids. I had to tell her to chill out about him. She knows he is a dinosaur anyway. I said that I thought it was only because I was obviously not a complete lesbian but only loved Laura (and didn’t fancy any other women) that he didn’t hate me and my life style altogether. He had been pleased at the thought of me marrying Richard, it was only when I started doing something which spoiled his metal image of him coming from the perfect family that his prejudices came to the fore! And, to be fair to him, he has always treated Laura with nothing less than the way he has always treated me in my pre-Laura days. I think she saw my point of view but I could tell she wasn’t a happy bunny.

After our meal Loll went off to the restaurant and Mum stayed with me and the kids until it was their bedtime. After I had put them to bed we had another chat about Phil and life and the price of coal. She whizzed off back to Holmesfield before Laura came back and then we had a similar chat about Phil and the kids and life and the price of coal, too!

We decided it was best not to get up to any hanky panky with littlies in the house. This turned out to be a wise decision because at about 2am we found a small girl at the foot of our bed asking to get in and then at about 4pm a little boy did the same! A double bed isn’t big enough for four people, so we made Peter sleep with his head by the footboard at the bottom of the bed. This was a far comfier arrangement, than trying to squeeze four of us in a line. I dread to think what Phil will say when he finds out!

A foot note. I woke up just before six to find Peter stroking my calf. He was fast asleep and was obviously just moving his hand about in his sleep. It felt really weird and oddly reassuring.

Saturday 26^th October.

We delayed swimming for an hour so that the kids could come with us (the first hour is adults only). They had brought their cossies in their little overnight bags [Peter hadn’t brought a toothbrush or toothpaste!] Obviously we didn’t swim lengths today we just had a playful splash about. Say what you want about my brother, but he has made sure they can both swim – I guess that is because he takes them sailing [which was the reason we all learned when we were toddlers, too]. They have a Topper which they sail on the reservoirs near Leeds.

Angela decided to see if she could swim a width of our pool underwater, it is a bigger pool than the one they are used to, and she did it quite easily. So we borrowed the rubber brick and went diving for that. It is so pleasing to see that they are both so at home and relaxed in the water. They bet me that I couldn’t swim a length underwater, so I did, just to show them. In fact I swam down to the shallows turned round and made it almost back to the deep end wall before my breath gave out. Peter had swum alongside me on the surface and Angela walked along the pool edge to make sure I didn’t cheat. As if! I was their hero for about 20 seconds!

I told them about diving in Australia with their Aunt Susannah and Uncle Pete. They seemed a bit wistful about the mention of them. I guess that is only natural. They have never met their Aunt and Uncle, or their three cousins. It’s quite sad really. It isn’t as though Phil cannot afford it either!

After breakfast we drove up to Horsforth and they greeted their Mum with a detailed description of their day away from home! Jane did say where Phil was but it didn’t sink in. Mum had phoned before we arrived and had relayed the “They’re Lesbians!” episode. She was really apologetic but I told her it was fine and not to worry. I have a sneaky feeling that was the real reason Philip had absented himself.

Alison’s party. [Sounds like the title for a play!]

Is there money to be made in Law, or what? Ali’s house is huge. It is just off the Ringinglow Road on the western edge of the city, and has a brilliant set of views in every direction except north. It must easily be worth more than a million! It was like stepping into a parallel universe.

She had invited about 30 people in all, some from the Chambers and some friends, plus a couple of Crown Court Judges! She’d prepared a whole huge salmon and a vast ham on the bone, plus dishes stretching to infinity of salads of various kinds. There wasn’t a half sandwich, vol-au-vent or sausage on a stick anywhere! We were told not to bother bringing any alcohol but it seemed virtually everyone had. I’d brought some Dornfelder which Ali opened immediately as she is a fan of it too.

The music for the evening seemed to be a Mike Oldfield theme. She had loaded an MP3 with seven of his albums and just left it playing. Rather different from out student days when people would fight over what music was being played and remove CDs they didn’t like to replace them with their choice. I loved the one called Incantations. I will have to see if Dad has it in his vast collection.

A surprising thing too, we weren’t the only gays in the village. I was all set to brazen out our lesbianism but it wasn’t necessary, there was a gay guy couple and two more lesbian couples so there wasn’t even a minor worry about it. The girls and I (and Loll) exchanged tales about acceptance and rejection by family and friends and colleagues; they seemed to have experienced virtually the same as we had. It was good to discover that our experiences weren’t unique.

Wandering round after the food I got into a conversation with one of the two Crown Court Judges. He asked what I did at the Chambers, I explained I was in ARR. He went down a complete blind alley, telling me he had heard all about me and the good team I had under me. He was surprised I was so young, he thought I would be older to be in such a senior position. It must’ve been the wine for it took me ages to twig he thought I was Chris Briggs! Once I explained he was amused by the mistake and said he’d just proved the tabloid press stereotype correct, that Judges are silly old duffers! He asked me whether I had ambitions to become Head of ARR one day and I had to launch into an explanation about what I was doing; my PhD and my ultimate goal of becoming a Professor. He seemed impressed that I had my career progression all mapped out before me.

Tim Carr put in an appearance at about 10.30 and did a cartoon style double take when he spotted me across the dining area. We had a long conversation that touched on a large numbers of topics related to me and my Family. I introduced Laura and he said, “So you are the little elf that has stolen Vicki’s heart? I have heard all about you from Vicki’s Dad.” When pressed he wouldn’t elaborate but changed the subject and asked me if I was going to go halves with Dad on the Arran cottage!? How the hell did he know? [Stupid thought, really. They are good friends having being through the same public school and Oxford college together.]

I told him my cost benefit analysis wasn’t favourable. I didn’t want to spend away my savings leaving me nothing for the future. He seemed to think this was an eminently sound reason but wondered why I hadn’t taken Richard’s Trust Fund into account. How much about my bloody life does he know? At this point Ali came up and naturally asked, “Trust Fund?” So he told her that Little Miss J-S, here, was to become a ‘millionairess’ in her fifties if she remained childless or very wealthy if she had any children instead! What a bloody prat! I had to then tell Ali all about Richard and his death and his parents’ court case and the settlement. Why does his friendship with my Dad make him presume he can blab my life story to all and sundry? I think Alison realised that I wasn’t happy and steered him away to meet someone else, saying she’d be back in a minute.

She actually apologised to me for her Boss’s behaviour when she came back. Evidently he is renown, not only for sleeping with some of the staff at work, but also for being the biggest gossip on the planet. When they merged the solicitors’ with the Chambers in the late 1980s they wanted to let the barristers know what they were thinking, to sort of sound them out about the idea. They told Tim all about it and it took less than two days for the head of the Chambers to get back to the Senior Partner at the solicitors!

We mingled with almost everybody at the party and talked about a huge range of subjects. It was no surprise to discover that there were people had been to every cultural event we’d attended since September [apart from Peter and the Wolf] among the mix of guests. No one person had duplicated our attendance pattern though. That must say something about the kind of person I am and they are but I’m not sure what.

We formed a small rump, at about half past one, of the hangers on. So Ali conjured up a pile of toast and some Brussels pate – helped along with some Earl Grey, it went down a treat. After putting the world to rights we wandered off at around 2.15 with the four who were left settling down for a game of Hearts. It being too difficult to explain the rules of bridge to the non-players who remained, despite our attempts.

What a good job there was no work awaiting us!

Sunday 27^th October.

Who pinched the hour? I needed a bit longer, TBH, this morning but Callie doesn’t have a watch and anyway she can only count up to two. [Doggy counting: One, two, lots, more lots!]

After her walk I fell asleep on the lounge sofa, where I might be to this moment, rooted to the spot like an old withered olive tree, were it not for a mischievous, slim blonde “elf” and a feather. The “elf” carefully opened my dressing gown and then unbuttoned my PJ jacket and proceeded to assault my erogenous zones with the feather. Once I was stirred, she removed my remaining pyjamas and went to work lower down. I have to say that a love bump caressed by a feather is unimaginably cringe-worthy and so stimulating at the same time. It certainly gets the juices flowing – literally. I bet she could have inserted a baseball bat I was so ready!

This is Laura’s variation of me sliding myself on to Richard’s morning glories, I think. I have woken up several times surprisingly damp in the nether regions due to a certain young lady’s ministrations! It is wonderful!

We spent a lot of the remains of the morning seeing how inventive we could be. That is all that needs to be said.

No sign of the storm yet, so this arvo we went to Higger Tor and did some walking and scrambling along the edges. There were masses of people out and about probably because the edges are crossed by almost a dozen roads from Sheffield and Chesterfield, so it is no real effort to get there.

Callie had a whale of a time with a spaniel who appeared from nowhere, and about 15 minutes later her breathless owners turned up, glad they had found her. She and Callie were play fighting and doing the charge game. This is where each dog charges at the other and the other has to dodge out of the way. Callie does it a lot. I think that maybe because I played a variation of it with her when she was a wee puppy, using the pooh shifting trowels in our garden. It would hit the two trowels together, making a delightful clang, and then lunge at the puppy. She’d dodge out of the way, obviously, but she’d also chase across the lawn towards me and veer off at the last minute, just out of trowel range!

Dogs just love to play.

I phoned Dad after tea and told him I would be happy to go in with a Static Caravan, especially if it was the ABI Ambleside, with opening French Doors at the front. It’s now his turn to think about it. He sent me some photographs of the pitch. It is right at the front of the site, next to the Kildonan Road, which may be noisy, but it has a huge wall between the pitch and the road plus included in the siting fee is a deck area which extends down the side of the van and then to the front between the wall and the van itself. [Hence the choice of van with French Door!] This deck is high enough to see across the wall when you are seated in a chair on it and the views are stunning. Totally uninterrupted views of Holy Island, The Firth of Clyde and the Scottish coast from The Rhins of Galloway up to Ardrossan. Even better, the wall is high enough that you don’t actually see any cars passing along the road. [OK, maybe the roof of a 4x4, but that’s all!]  

It is now my turn to wait. I have done the maths [with Laura] and it is a very do-able idea. The site doesn’t let out any of the vans and you aren’t allowed to either. Which seems a good idea, to me. Who knows, by this time next week I could be the owner of half a holiday home on Arran?

Still no storm at Dog walk time but the rain was coming down in sheets! I bet they have exaggerated the impact of this weather system to avoid lawsuits!

Cynical? Me?

Yahoo Answers News.
Last week, with 3000+ points I was 31st on the WORLD Weekly leader board.
This week, with 4000+ points I was 29th on the WORLD Weekly leader board!

Rah, Rah and indeed Rah!

[I have discovered a glitch in their system which means I can amass huge numbers of points per week. I'll get back to 72000+ inside a year, you see!]