Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Summer Diary 2013 – Week Eight.

Friday 23^rd August.

The lotto winner went swimming with us this morning but had calmed down considerably compared to last night. She decided to join in with the Aquarobics class again. I think that was mainly to stop Suze blabbing about her Mum’s good luck if she wasn’t there.

After dropping the kids off Mum decided that today she'd like to go to Serpentine Dam and Falls. I had to admit I hadn’t been there before but Mum told me I had, when I was about three. Mum drove across the coastal plain and then into the Darling Hills where falls are located. They reminded me a little of Hardraw Force in the Yorkshire Dales but without all the trees. We were the only people there but lots of wild roos had decided to come and look at the falls too, or at least to explore the car park and picnic area. They were all Western Greys by the look of it and some were tame enough to allow themselves to be stroked. Mum said we ought to have brought some rabbit pellets as the roos would probably feed from our hands if we had. [I didn’t know that.]

To get from the Falls to Serpentine Dam we had to go back into Jarrahdale. This was a really quaint bush town. It was definitely one of these one horse places I have described before. Although this time probably literally. There was one pub/restaurant and when we walked in we experienced one of those classic film moments where everyone stops what they are doing to watch the strangers arrive! It was definitely an un-nerving experience. Fortunately the bar person was friendliness itself [and also female]. We asked if it was possible to have a cup of tea and she told us they did it by the pot if we wanted! That was a surprise. An even bigger surprise was the fact they had Earl Grey!

We ordered sandwiches and chips for lunch and were staggered by the size of the plateful of sandwiches we were given. We had ordered the same filling for our sandwiches [I know, we can’t help it]: Ham salad. The bar lady brought us a platter with over a dozen quartered ham salad sangers and a bowl of chips that looked like a scale model of Bluff Knoll [WA’s highest mountain]. The ham was smoked and delicious. The chips were so obviously home-made and the nicest tasting ones I have eaten for quite a while. Mum said they reminded her of the chips we get in the Plough at Bradfield [where I sometimes take her for lunch at the weekend]. She was right, they were just the same. When we had finished eating (and were on our second pot of tea) Mum asked if the chips were double fried. It seems they were and the bar lady was pleased we had noticed, she was very proud of her chips.

From here we drove on to Serpentine Dam. On our arrival I had a sort of vague recollection of it, although whether that was a real one or one brought on by a couple of photographs, I don’t know. Mum used to have one of her and Dad standing by the railings of a huge dam wall, with the reservoir snaking off into the distance, in a frame on the sideboard. It was this very spot! Mum may have mentioned where it was taken but it hadn’t registered at all, until now. I said, “This is where….” She interrupted, “Yes, where the photo at home was taken. That was a marvellous holiday. It was also the last time you were here, too! Phil was holding you in his arms while this stranger took the picture for us. There is one of all four of us somewhere too. I think I gave it to Phil.” Wow, it just goes to show how powerful memories are doesn’t it?

I suddenly remembered, really vividly, something which happened when we were here last. This was where I dropped Dad’s camera case into the water, wasn’t it? Phil climbed down the rocks to get it from where it had lodged by the out fall. I can’t remember much but I do recall feeling scared that he might fall in too. She told me that was exactly right. I had been really upset because I thought Dad would be cross, it was a new camera [Canon Sureshot] bought especially for the trip and because it was simple enough for us kids to use –even me- I had been entrusted to hold the case. Probably I wasn’t told off, mainly because that happened so rarely I would have remembered it. Phil had played the hero and scrambled down to the water’s edge where the case had got stuck. He was able to fetch it out and give it back to Dad. The case wasn’t leather and wasn’t damaged at all. It’s funny how stuff comes flooding back, isn’t it? I haven’t thought about that for years and years.

We pottered back to Warnbro in time to collect the kids from school. Mum drove us the scenic route back – down to Rocky Beach then along the route I had walked and cycled during my stay. I had a brain wave whilst we were driving. Because I love the shore here so much I have asked Mum to drive me along it again during the week, so that I can film it on my camera. That way I’ll have a real time record of what it looks like. My camera will film for several minutes as I put a 32Gb micro SD card in it. Rah rah rah!

I Skyped Laura this evening, around midnight so that she’d be back from work. She was at Dad’s! She had gone round there as Dad & Louisa were upset so she and Molly had gone to find out why. Dad & L had gone to Gilbert’s in Crosby Villa yesterday, this is a small village just down the lane from Tallentire. One of my friends lives there Sue (and Iain her husband) too. They live just round the corner from Gilbert. It seems they had gone walking from Gilbert’s place, up the road a little and then down to the railway line, from there they followed the railway line south intending to end up in Crosby at the Stag Inn. They didn’t get that far. It seems Charlie, one of Gilbert’s Chocolate Labs got through the railway fence and was killed by a passing train! OMG. I am not surprised Dad & Louisa were upset. It is horrible news. Not only did Gilbert have his two dogs with him Dad had his three and Callie. I just started crying when Laura told me this, I asked her to put Dad on and he was quite shocked still.

He told me the other dogs hadn’t gone through the fence at all and were never in any danger. It still didn’t stop the awful feeling I had in the pit of my stomach that I could have lost my precious puppy. Charlie had been nicknamed Houdini by the people of Crosby Villa because he was always getting out of Gilbert’s garden. He used to be brought back home at least once a week. Barney, the other dog, was far more laid back and used to wait in the garden with his tail wagging waiting for his mate to come home. Gilbert is heartbroken, as you can imagine.

The train driver stopped and was pretty upset too. He called the British Transport Police and they were there quite speedily. They had brought a replacement driver and retrieved Charlie’s remains from the track. Apparently hitting animals on the track is more common than you’d think but they are usually sheep or cattle. The Policeman couldn’t remember a dog being struck by a train before.

Laura was stunned by it all you could tell and very pale – even more pale than she usually is! She got some colour back when I reminded her I would be home next week. She can’t wait for me to return. I will be back to give her mega hugs on Friday [around lunchtime]. I will drive down to Sheffield on the Sunday so I can report in for work on the Monday morning. Dad tells me this will be a formality, they have a couple of new lecturers etc starting from September 1^st too, they will be given their formal induction and then told to return about two weeks later. I hope the same happens for me because I will be straight back to Dad’s and Laura.

 

Saturday 24th August.

Swimming again this morning and once more Mum went to the Aquarobics class instead of swimming lengths. She really seems determined to stop Suze blabbing about her lotto win to the other ladies in the class.

We went to Subi Oval to watch the Dockers against Port Adelaide. Apparently, it was on the TV news last night, the game has sold out! It must be all of us closet fans creeping out of the woodwork, eh? They also said the club wanted everyone to wear something white for the match too, so this morning we spent some time assembling our wardrobes accordingly. The Dockers do have a white strip as well as their usual purple, so the girls and Suze had their replica white Guernseys to wear. Even Pete and Jeff went in white. I found a white top to wear which I didn’t know I’d brought with me, embarrassingly it has the slogan “Queen Bitch” written in lurid pink across the front. Mum has surprised us all with a sweatshirt she bought when she was here last, which is white, with a huge, black, letter F on the front surrounded by black and white drawings of sea birds and the word Fremantle written at the bottom. I have never seen it before and she admits that she has hardly worn it at all in the UK. It shows. It looks brand new.  We did the usual trick of parking in Freo and catching the train into Subi. Like we did last time we had a bite to eat, before the game, in Subiaco. Kick off was at 5.40pm.

Match report: We won. Again Freo’s score went into the hundreds (134pts) while Port Adelaide couldn’t even scrape half that total. (60) The win has moved the Dockers up to third in the ladder. It will take the other clubs in the league to do us a favour if we are to hit second spot, but who knows? There was no respite from the Dockers attack for PA they were just outplayed and quite frankly, hapless in every quarter of the match. One anomaly though – the TV news said the match had been sold out but when the attendance figures were announced on the Tannoy it said 35 and a half thousand spectators were present. For the Derby match with the Eagles there were nearly 42 thousand in the crowd. Shome mishtake there then, hic!

I have to say that despite the fact the Eagles may miss out on the play offs Pete and Jeff were swept along in the euphoria of the win. Maybe it was Mum’s infectious enthusiasm and partisan yelling which brought them round? Who knows? Mum was a picture of righteous fury at several points during the game although I think her grasp of the rules is even scantier than mine!

We did Mum’s trick again to get ourselves a seat back into Fremantle on the train. I hope the weather is fine tomorrow as I am looking forward to a family Barbie in the bush out at Wungong Reservoir. Mum went and bought a whole load of steak for us and some ready-made kebabs from the butchers at Warnbro Shopping centre this morning. There will be a whole pile of green salad and some home-made dressed salads too – we spent the morning making a pasta salad, a couscous salad and a potato salad. It should fill a gap. [I didn’t know until we got back from the game that Mum has invited Alex and Chris to join us. That’s why we have prepared enough food for an army!]

I had an e-mail waiting for me from Laura, when I fired up my tablet back at Chaos Castle, it just had a huge number 6 as the message and lots of small kisses at the bottom! Ah, bless.

 

Sunday August 25^th.

We went swimming with the Sunday Swimmers again this morning. I lost my goggles somewhere between the bedroom [study] and the pool so I had to swim without them. My eyes were stinging like billy-o for ages afterwards. When we got back to S & P’s they were on the telephone table, waiting to be picked up. Durr! That’s where’d I put them down when someone called at the ungodly hour of quarter to seven this morning! The ‘someone’ was the clinic in Mandurah where Suze works, asking if it was possible for her to make a half shift this afternoon. She turned them down because she was taking Mum and me out for the Barbie. It is strange to hear yourself referred to as ”the Kid sister”.

When Pete came back from collecting the Sunday Papers he asked me if I was alright and had I been crying? I explained about the red eyes and forgetting the goggles. He told me that the more your eyes sting at the pool, it means the more people have been weeing in the water! Yuck or what?

I have been to Wungong Reservoir before but, as Mum told me, I was a toddler once again! I don’t remember this one at all. We drove across the dam wall and then down a track that brought us to a picnic spot right by the water’s edge. Here Pete put up a gazebo (!) and then started to collect fire wood for the Barbie. There was a cast iron Barbie, shaped like a half barrel, but no wood near it. Usually the wood provision is done by the ranger service, they must have been too busy to do it this week. Once the fire was lit we waited for the thing to get hot by walking along the lake shore and trying to spot lizards. There is an extensive set of walks around the bush area [which Mum says weren’t here before] and we trooped off – that’s Mum, Suze, Jill, Annabelle, Jeff and me - on a way-marked stroll that said it was three to four kilometres. Being close to the lake shore most of the way it was fairly flat, the only time the path rose was to take us up to the visitor car park and café to the east of the dam wall. From there we tracked down through the woods coming back to the lake shore and a Barbie hot enough to cook on.

Mum insisted on putting aluminium foil on the hot plate before putting the food on! I mean the heat would have killed off any nasties lurking on there. We had the Kebabs first and just as they were ready Alex and Chris arrived [late] having got lost and spending an age finding the right road out of Bedford Dale. They came down Admiral Road OK but then ended back up on the Albany Highway! Alex refused to turn round but was adamant he could find a way back - which took them even further away. In the end he had to retrace his route and eventually found us. Just in time to eat.

They had brought masses of food too, so we ended up not cooking some of our meat and put it back in the esky to eat at home tomorrow. A & C were miffed that they’d missed our little walk so we went off again for a post prandial digestive walk, the direct route, back up to the visitor café to fetch some ice cream to go with the dessert which Chris had brought. They had a small fabric cool bag in their car which was handy and we bought four litres of ice cream which just fitted in nicely. Two vanilla flavour, one Cherry Swirl and One Chocolate. One of the dessert items was barbequed bananas in their skins. I normally hate bananas being cooked in anything but these were delicious; especially with a dab of chocolate ice cream. 

Alex and Pete shared a case of beer. [Swan Gold] and we had wine or watered down wine [the kids]. This proved very silly because at about three pm we all realised we had to drive back. Chris said she’d had only the one glass so she was OK but the Rhodes and Jay-Smith adults had to play a rock paper scissors game to see who would have to attempt a quick sobering up. Suze lost! She said she’d be fine if she had a lot of coffee and ate some more carbohydrates.  We’d brought four large flasks of boiling water to make hot drinks so Suze had two huge mugs of hot coffee and three burgers in buns. She then came for another stroll along the lake shore with us girls while the blokes continued to guzzle their beer.

At about five the wind got up, probably the edge of the Doctor blowing in, so we packed up and set off back in convoy to Rockingham. It was a really good day. We had a good giggle. Played several games of jumbo Jenga on the picnic table and had a mammoth pass the pigs-athon. We got very silly at this; developing unusual techniques for our throws and calling them mad names. Maia’s Misguided Muddle proved quite successful, I think this was because I threw a pig from each hand crossing my arms just before the release. I scored no ‘pig outs’ at all using this method! That has to be a statistical anomaly.

At home we watched the fiasco that was the end of the fifth test. I thought the Aussie declaration was a very sporting gesture and that England was certain to win but then the Umpires pulled the idiotic stunt with the light. Four overs to go and 21 runs to win! How stupid was that? I suppose, in all fairness, a draw was the best result, especially in light of the Aus declaration.

I had a whole slew of e-mails arrive for me: another large number from Laura; one from Mrs Briggs telling me they were looking forward to me coming back in September and to apologise for giving Christopher my e-mail address; one from Julie saying the house was fine, it smelled a bit unloved when she did the post the other day but then she realised my reed-diffuser had run out. She set the second one going on the kitchen table, left there for that very eventuality. There was one from Phil and Jane – Jane’s kid sister had passed her A Levels with the grades she needed and was definitely going to Leeds Uni in September. A long rambly, chatty, silly one from Kaybers, commiserating about the Nadia incident. Another one from the mad woman herself. One from the landlady of the pub where we have been winning their Thursday night quiz. One from the restaurant where Laura will be working in September, they’ve lost her e-mail address [but had mine?] and wanted her addy. Plus one from Christopher.

Christopher is a guy [from the law firm] who had been accompanying me to concerts at the Sheffield City Hall, as I wanted a change from going with Mum. I’d asked in the office for a companion and he’d piped up. Sadly, after a few concerts, he started to think I was really wanting him to get into my knickers too, so I stopped going with him. I had made it so clear I only wanted a concert companion but no, he had to be a pillock! Anyway, the reason for his e-mail isn't knickers diving related [I think] he has recorded one of the BBC Proms for me and made a copy – it is of Nigel Kennedy’s new interpretation of the Four Seasons and, according to Christopher, it is unbelievable. I had seen this concert in the proms guide which came with the BBC Music Magazine [I’m a subscriber] and I thought it sounded good. He says he has put the recording on to a DVD and I will be stunned by the interpretation. Oh Dear, I hope this won’t mean he start trying to be lovey dovey again. I mean he is a nice guy and everything but he looks [and dresses] like an insurance salesman!

Monday August 26^th.

We went to the pool again this morning and Mum went to Aquarobics again! I went into Rockingham by myself after dropping off the kids as I wanted to get something to take back for Laura. I had seen a beautiful matching pair of necklaces, they are gold hearts with a bright blue Lapis Lazuli centre on a gold chain. They are absolutely gorgeous. I bought one for Laura and one for me. The gold holds the Lapis in place and when you hold it up to the light they are translucent. They are simply adorable. I think she’ll love it. I hope she does.

They were a bit expensive, especially as the exchange rate is so terrible, but I had taken my passport and return flight ticket to the jewellers’ and they have taken off the sales tax. Rah, rah, rah! I showed it to Mum when I got home and she wanted to know which jewellers’ they were in and were there any more different pieces? I told her where it was and she is going to have a look sometime before she comes back home. [That is in mid to late September, I think.]

We zoomed off to RSHS as soon as S & P were home and sure enough the kids were bounding out to meet us at the gate by 2.35pm. Pete drove us along the Kwinana Freeway up into Perth and then across Narrows Bridge. This gives you the most wonderful view of the city centre sitting being the Swan River, looking so clean and modern. Surprisingly, the traffic was very light for the time of day and we made uninterrupted progress all the way to Osborne Park. We came off the freeway by the big lake [Lake Monger, I think] the route was pretty easy to find as was Lotterywest HQ. There was a big car park in front but it was almost full, there was extra parking on Walter’s Drive itself so we parked there.

I don’t know what we were expecting but it was quite a disappointment. There was no ceremony or bells and whistles. The HQ itself is very modern and mainly glass with a huge quarter spherical canopy over the main entrance made from glass, too. Inside the receptionist was quick and efficient and directed us to accounts where Mum was presented with a cheque after her ticket was verified. The cheque was printed out there and then in accounts and the whole transaction was quite slick and a bit anonymous really. It could well have been a person using a post office. We all felt a bit deflated after all our excitement about winning. Pete drove us onto Scarborough beach, Walter’s Drive is just off Scarborough Beach Road, where we pulled up at one of the beach front cafés and had huge ice-cream desserts. This place has also been so redeveloped since Mum was here last. It is quite astounding how much money must have been spent in Western Australia making it an extremely attractive place to want to live [so long as you don’t mind being in the most isolated capital city in the world – at the end of a 2000 mile cul-de-sac from Adelaide].

We drove home the coastal road way and as this crossed the Swan River quite close to Bicton we detoured there to show Mum Suze and Pete’s old house. It is on Birdwood Circus West and was a lovely house but in a really densely built up area. Mum wanted them to stop and ask the new owners if she could have a look at where her daughter used to live. Eventually Pete relented and we stopped. There was no-one home. Never mind.

I remember the place really well from my Gap Year [2005/06] and then after Richard died I spent over a year there as well. It is quite high up and has a view across the Swan River [although the Swan itself isn’t visible from the house] and it is a house – two storeys high. This is unusual for Australia, most are single storey homes. If Suze and Pete could have moved the house they would have, it really was a smashing place to live. You did feel surrounded though, which at Warnbro you don’t. Partly this was because the house was behind another one and you reached it via a long driveway, that was all that is visible of the house from Birdwood Circus. Plus, their new house at Warnbro is just a short step to the beach which is a lot more interesting than the river, in my humble opinion.

We got home to a huge chicken casserole for dinner which was left to cook itself while we were out. I was prevailed upon to do my vegetable rice again which is so easy but they like the way I make it – I use saffron in it, you see. We cracked the most expensive bottle of wine we had brought back from Margaret River as a compensation and celebration combined. Jill was allowed an un-watered down glass! She didn’t like it all! We refused to turn it into a spritzer, with lemonade, and Mum drank it instead. One does have standards!

Tuesday 27^th August.

I don’t want to go home. I have only two days left and I am going to miss everyone so much. It was easier at Christmas when I left the family up in Broome on their yacht, flew down to Jandakot Airport alone, and spent the last two days before my departure pottering about in Bicton by myself. This time Mum’s here and Suze, Pete and the kids are too and I get a lump in my throat when I think about leaving.

When I left to take up my job in Sheffield, in 2010, that was the dawning of a new chapter in my life and I was leaving behind the darkest time of my life, after Richard’s death. It was easy to leave with optimism and a newly invigorated sense of adventure. I'm starting a third chapter in my life since then when I get back. New job [again]; my girlfriend is moving in with me, I have a lot of new experiences and challenges ahead. I guess it is leaving the comfort of family and stepping into the unknown again. It is safer and easier to stay where you are and do the same old thing.

I am frightened about Laura moving in. She is making a huge commitment, changing University mid-course. Going to a city she hardly knows. Starting a part time job. I don’t want to be responsible for messing it all up. I hope I don’t. She is making an enormous sacrifice coming to live with me and I am doing sod all in comparison. OK, I will have a new job, but it is really just an extension of what I was doing for the latter part of my MA. The only difference will be the hours of teaching I have committed to and being part of the staff. I should breeze through these changes. Loll has to start again, almost, new tutors, new friends etc - all that as a second year. It might be tough for her. She is a bit of an innocent at large really. She was a virgin when we started our relationship [I suppose technically, by dictionary definition, she still is]; she is quite naïve at times and a little too trusting in people. These are things I love her for. I hope moving her doesn’t change her too much.

Another worry is the thoughts I keep having about wanting a penis inside me from time to time. Why am I thinking that? What can I do about it? Should I tell little Loll or not?  I wasn’t a lesbian before I began my relationship with her and she knows that. I don’t fancy other women either.  Why does life get so bloody complicated?

Enough navel gazing. We had another good swim, Mum did lengths today and I suppose Suze must’ve told the other women in Aquarobics about the win and our disappointment in collecting the winnings. Quite a few of the ladies came over and offered congrats to Mum in the changing room as we were drying off. We caught the train up to Perth, after dropping the kids off at school and spent the day looking at Perth from a tourist’s point of view. It is very clean and modern and if it wasn’t for the glorious weather most of the time, it could be anywhere really. We hired bikes for two hours and cycled through King’s Park. Again I had done this as a child but couldn’t remember. It is brilliant really, a real life example of pure, unadulterated bush in the middle of the city. There are the cycle ways through it but that’s all! What a great idea. So many European cities couldn’t do this if they wanted to because the land had been used and reused so many times in those places. There are a couple of viewpoint towers in the park and, of course, we climbed those. The ones which overlooked the Swan had magnificent views. It is when you come and do stuff like this you can see the attraction of living here all the time.

We couldn’t find the car back at Rockingham Station. Until we realised we were looking for the old Hyundai hire car Mum had last week, not the van! What drongos! We made a pact not to tell Suze and Co or we’d never hear the end of it. We were getting pretty desperate at one point and I was on the verge of going to report a stolen car to the attendant when I realised what we’d been doing! OMG, what a pair of dozy pillocks we must have been.

I guess I could have met up with Nadia while we were in Perth but, to be honest, I didn’t feel like opening myself up for any more grief. I know she’s left apologetic messages on Suze’s answer machine and sent a few e-mails saying she’s sorry but… I don’t know, I think I am not going to let her off the hook that easily. I may go and see her in Northern Ireland before the “Derry, City of Culture” thing finishes and I’ll take Laura with me to assault Nadia’s sensibilities and prejudices! Although that wouldn’t be fair on little Loll at all.

Dinner was quite a subdued affair really. I hope I haven’t infected everyone with my sense of melancholy at the thought of me leaving. Also we were eating the uncooked meat from the Barbie on Sunday which made it feel like a cast off meal.

It’s my last full day tomorrow, and then I’ll be flying back on Thursday. There will be tears. I just know it.

Wednesday August 28^th.

Not the final swim! I am going to do one on the morning of my departure. My flight isn’t until the end of tomorrow almost, so I could do all sorts of things. So that is exactly what I did.

Today I decided I wanted to go to Mandurah again and have a last look round before going home. Mum and I drove down in the van, after dropping the kids off. We found a cycle hire place just over the River and hired bikes again. This was a great idea. We cycled round Hall’s Head and went to places in Mandy I’d never been to before! Coming back over the old wooden bridge we saw that the dolphins were back in the shallows alongside the promenade so we zoomed down there to watch them.

We cycled round the new development towards the mouth of the river and went to the beach areas along there too. I showed Mum the theatre where I’d taken the kids at Christmas. She didn’t even know the place existed. It is actually called the Mandurah Performing Arts Centre which I suppose allows it far more scope in its booking policy. There looks like there is a great kids’ show coming up about a cleaning lady and a Dinosaur but it’s on October. I will have to write the date on the kitchen white board.

We cycled all around Breakwater Parade looking at the new harbour and the new accommodation, we’d just got down to the beach proper when it started raining! I don’t believe it. The first proper rain I’ve been in since we were in Albany weeks ago. We dived into the nearest café and waited until the rain passed over. It was a good thing the café was here as the heavens really opened and it threw it down. It was a full two pots of tea and a piece of cake each before it had eased off sufficiently to ride back to the cycle hire place. Phew. We were quite lucky we had the bikes to get us out of the rain pronto. I was quite amazed by the amount of building which has gone on along the northern shore of the town. When I was out here in 2010 there was hardly any, now there are masses of new houses there. Where is all the money coming from to build these places? I hope there isn’t a housing bubble about to burst like what happened in the mid 2000’s.

We drove back to Warnbro and then on the way to pick up the kids Mum drove along the coast road so I could film the journey with my phone. The picture is bit wobbly in places and the engine is much noisier than I would have expected it to be and you have mine and Mum’s inane conversation going on in the background. Hardly a Steven Spielberg production. Once we’d picked the kids up we tried again and this time we got them to do a running commentary of what we were driving past. This was still as noisy (engine-wise) but much better than my first attempt. I have been made to promise that I will do the same at home and sent them the results so they can see where I live and my little house. I have talked about my home and the places I go dog walking with Callie so much that they are all desperate to see what it looks like. This could be a project for the first few days when I get back to the UK.

In places their commentary is really silly: “And here is where Aunt Vicki was stopped by the police for riding her bicycle in a manner that was likely to endanger others”- Jill. “That sand bar leads to Penguin Island and last Christmas Aunt Vicki almost drowned us all by walking us out across it to the island” – Jeff. “Here’s is where Aunt Vicki threw her ice-cream cornet all down my neck and the back of my tea-shirt when I was little and then tried to scrape it off and eat it because it was her favourite flavour; Turkish Delight” – Annabelle [That was in 2006 and she was a tiny wee thing, I’d tripped up the kerb. I hadn’t even eaten any of the damned thing either. I am surprised she still remembered it!] You then get my Mum saying: “She has often done that. She once spilled trifle down herself when she was about five so she took off her dress and tried to eat the trifle from her dress.” That’s followed by me going, “Oooh that’s a lie.”   Long pause…. “It was my dungarees!”

They all rushed off when we got home as they were taking me out to the Posh restaurant on Safety Bay Road for my dinner and they wanted to get spruced up. As it was a school night we were booked in for just before 6pm. Alex and Chris and Sally and Barry joined us at the restaurant and we had a really enjoyable meal. I had mussels (Moules Marinere). They were local ones and absolutely delicious. The dessert was Lemon Meringue Pie! Yaay! My all-time favourite. The restaurant had a BYO licence, so we brought three Margaret River bottles with us (they charge a small corkage fee) but I only had a taste of each as I didn’t want to be flying back with a hangover! They were just as nice as I remembered them from our tasting.

The guests went home after the meal, leaving us lot by ourselves back at Chaos Castle. The kids were packed off to bed at about 10 (except Jill) and we sat and chatted about what we’d be doing in the next few weeks. I asked if Loll and I can come out next winter [our summer] and all three said “Yes!” almost instantly. I will not take no for an answer from my absent partner; the balance in my savings won’t be depleted as the interest they will have earned between now and next year will more than will cover what we’ll spend. S & P, following Phil’s advice, invested their share of Gran’s inheritance in a managed trust fund and it is earning them quite a lot more than I am getting. [Although afterwards when I converted dollars to pounds it actually works out at around the same!] They’ll have enough to put all three through University without denting their capital amount at all! This is after buying their really expensive boat, too.

The boat is still up in Broome, where one of Pete’s cousins [he does have loads of cousins] is looking after it for them and sailing around the coast taking “Bespoke day charters” in it. They are splitting the money made 60/40 and letting him live on the boat until Christmas. [He gets the 40.] When we come next year they’ll have the boat back at one of the moorings on the Swan and so we’ll be able to go out with them on a weekend. [Or longer if we can manage to arrive in time to hit the July two week school holiday! That would be brilliant – assuming Laura is a good sailor.]

It was almost 1pm by the time we finally turned in!

 

Thursday 28^th August.

Well that was it.

We went swimming again this morning. I had no packing to do as I had done it all yesterday afternoon when we got back from our epic filming. I have given Mum the little presents I have bought for each of them [I got those when I went to buy the Lapis necklaces] she will give them to everyone when I am in mid-flight. Breakfast was a bit dour, to be honest. Today proved to be a bit outside normal parameters. Mum and drove the kids to school and then headed back to Chaos Castle. I asked her if she fancied cycling to Rocky Front, so on we pottered to Rockingham beach, following the coast road route. We parked the bikes up and had a stroll along the second jetty at RB, as there were no fishermen on it

We had a slightly tearful scene as Mum asked, “Is there where you, you know?” I had to admit it was. I was all set to swim out towards Garden Island and beyond until one of Suze’s friends and her daughter happened to stop me.

“You know…  it would have killed me too, if you had.”

I told her that I had loved him so much and my world had fallen apart. Bloody Romeo and Juliet, eh? We actually laughed. There on the jetty at Rockingham Beach, where her daughter had almost committed suicide, Mum and I laughed about it. I told her I do still miss him. She said that was only to be expected. We had pledged ourselves to a life together and it was all cruelly taken away from me, what did I expect? I would miss him all my life but I had moved on. She told me that although she hated Dad for what he had done, a part of her wished she and him were still together. I reminded her that I knew all this after our late night drunken chat in Margaret River. We had a giggle about that too.

We wobbled on to Railway Terrace and had a pot of tea and a cake in the big beach front café, cherry scones, chock full of cherries [but without almonds, like I put in them]. It felt really strange to think I would be leaving Mum here but in a few weeks time she’d be back in Sheffield and we’d be doing all the Mum / daughter things we used to as normal. I asked her if she’d miss school. She was adamant she wouldn’t but then revised her opinion and was equally as adamant that she would. She’ll not miss the petty bureaucracy but she will miss the people, the staff and more especially the pupils. She was touched by the number of them that had actually given her good luck cards or even presents before she left. It had almost made her want to stay on!

We had a very leisurely cycle back and then sat reading until it was time to fetch the kids back from school. Dinner was early and we had done huge hot BLT baps with either a spicy relish or a thousand island type dressing. The kids hadn’t had them before which I found surprising. I suppose they may be more of an adult taste.

At about 7 we all piled into the van for the drive to Perth International. My flight left at 10.30 ish and check in had to be two hours before. [I’m writing this before hitting the land of nod in a Business Class seat – I asked if there were any upgrades available and the guy on the desk found me a BC Seat until Dubai. Good man!]

We said our goodbyes at the airport which were sad, as you can imagine. However, my next visit is already pencilled in so I will be back in not too long a time. I told them not to wait to watch the plane take off as it would make them very late home. I don’t know if they did or not as I was in the departure lounge. Even Jeff consented to be hugged. Annabelle insisted on being last. I swirled her round and round and she clung on tight with her arms round my neck. I told her to make the most of it as there’d come a time when she’d grow out of this. She said “Never!” She also whispered, “Look in your makeup bag when you get home.” What’s she put in there I wonder?

I waved them off and went into the departure lounge thinking just how lucky I was. My family are brilliant. I love them all so much. I hope they like what they find in the envelope I left before we departed. It’s on the desk in the study. We had a picture taken at the Dockers vs Eagles derby match. It is of the Rhodes family supporters (and me) in our partisan team colours, full of excitement just before the game. A photographer was taking shots of people and giving them a card with a number on. The number was the photo reference number. We are all huddled together over one of the advertising hoardings outside the Subi Oval, it has the match details emblazoned across it.  I discretely contacted him and have had an A4 sized print made, which he also framed for me. I collected it from the Poste Restante facility at Rockingham Beach this morning where it had been waiting about a week. I hope they like it. I am sure they will. I have a 10 by 8 tucked away in my luggage of the same shot – I’ll find a frame for it when I get home.

Go Dockers! [OK, and Eagles.]

Go Rhodes! Go Jay-Smiths!

Dubai here I come. I only cried a little. Honest.

Propositioned Twice in Two Days. [Thinking about BJs ! ! ]

Summer Diary 2013 – Week 8.

Friday August 16^th.

Wooh Hooh! I had a lie in this morning. I stayed in bed until half past seven! I guess it was the two bottles of wine at the Tavern then the half bottle of Australian Port back at the apartment that did for me. At least after being blotto I haven’t woken up next to a complete stranger which would have been very embarrassing, to say the least. Mum was zed pushing for almost another hour, so I washed the floor of the apartment, dusted everywhere, cleared out the rubbish and at twenty past eight was starving – so I cooked up a load of bacon. Sure enough, the smell of grilling bacon was enough to drag Mum from her pit.

She asked, “Did we talk about what I think we talked about, last night?” I had to reply, “I don’t know, I can’t tell from here what you think we talked about!” Her reply was, “Oh. Right!” And that was it. I have decided it would be far too revealing to write out what we chatted about last night after all. Suffice to say that last night I was a shocked daughter and she was a shocked mother and that will be enough said on the matter.

We decided to forego the wine tasting today. I looked at my finances after cleaning up [isn’t internet banking great?] and discovered I had spent a fortune this week already! I had to tell Mum that I needed to take a hard serious look at my expenditure for the next few days. We have bought three cases of wine between us at not inconsiderable expense in the space of three days! Luckily Mum agreed. The latent Scottish thrift has started to kick in.

I told her how nice Dunsborough was, and Canal Rocks, plus we could Visit Cape Naturaliste lighthouse and the Yallingup chocolate factory. There could be loads to do without spending that Italian chap [Armado Leggi]. That was the plan.

After an enormous fried breakfast followed by a swift visit to the bookshop to pick up a book Mum had reserved, we headed for Dunsborough and had a good explore. It really is archetypal Australian modern really, but its location makes it seem very special. We had a stroll through the shops and went to the craft shop [the one where Jill did her course at Christmas]. Mum and the craft shop owner hit it off like long lost buddies and we were there for almost an hour (well Mum was)! The owner used to be a teacher but packed it up to turn her hobby into a business. She and Mum just gossiped and gossiped and gossiped. I said I’d be back in an hour and went onto the beach for a stroll. As is common in Australian winters, the beach was deserted. There was a very attractive foreshore park / garden where I took a “tea to go” and contemplated life, the universe and everything as I sat at one of the picnic benches.

I can’t believe it. No sooner was I seated than this bloody guy appeared and asked if he could join me. The cheek of it. He was quite attractive and fairly youngish. I think he was just trying his luck with the solo blonde on the beach, to be honest. Now, if he’d tried it last night at the Settler’s Tavern he may have succeeded but on this cool Friday morning in July, sat waiting for Mum who was having a chin wag with a complete stranger, he had a snow ball in hell’s chance. His opening line wasn’t too bad, though: “You’re not from round here, are you?” I kept my replies monosyllabic and he had a pretty hard time of it. He kept firing questions at me but I just couldn’t be arsed to be polite back. In the end he gave up and wandered off along the shore.

I almost dragged Mum screaming and kicking from the craft shop so we could go to Canal Rocks. This is just a spitting distance from Dunsborough and is a series of gulleys made in the harder rocks along the shoreline by wave erosion. It is quite an extensive complex and as it was low tide we were able to have a really good scramble about on the rocks without too much effort. Even Mum, who is fairly nimble for her age, had a good old work out climbing several of the more interesting lumps. She used to rock climb a lot when she and Dad were married, she sort of abandoned quite a lot of the things they used to do together after the divorce - rock climbing was one of them, sailing was another. As the tide turned we retreated a bit as some of the rocks made a good splash back for the waves and we were beginning to get drenched by the spray. Mum produced her magical flask of tea – I didn’t know when she’d made it because I didn’t spot her at the apartment – and two sandwiches each! Good old Mum, again. It turns out she’d remembered how good Aussie delis are and had her flask and the sangers prepared at the deli near to the craft shop as a sort of thank you for me putting up with her spending so long in there.

We zipped along to Cape Naturaliste light and Mum started laughing when she saw it. If Leeuwin light is Arnold Schwarzenegger, then Naturaliste is Danny De Vito! It is one of the smallest lighthouses I have ever seen. Mum’s laughter summed up this contrast perfectly. We had the tour and the climb to the top [Mum pretended to run up the steps]. The view wasn’t as spectacular as from Leeuwin Light but was pretty good nonetheless. The guide told us that in the last few weeks humpbackeds had been spotted from the top of the light and from the specially built viewing platform on the cliff edge. Duly informed we went to collect the binoculars from the car and headed to the platform. We spent about an hour there and saw lots of whale sprays and several flukes breaking the water. OK, we had seen whales close up from the boat, but actually viewing them from the shore was something unique for both of us.

Looking at the clock on my phone I realised we needed to scoot off we were to make the chocolate factory before it closed. We didn’t scoot fast enough. The place was closed when we arrived. Damn and blast! It means we’ll have to go there tomorrow on our way home or give it a miss altogether. I was planning on taking Mum to the Dolphin Discovery Centre at Bunbury on the way back so we will have to make a choice in the morning.

Our evening meal, I am afraid to say, was in the Settler’s Tavern again. We were pretty early but it was already filling up as it was a Friday night. The waiter who thought we were sisters was serving again and he seemed genuinely pleased to see us, perhaps he was harbouring thoughts of having a threesome with us? From our last night’s conversation I have a pretty good idea what my Mum’s thoughts on the matter might be! Personally, I find it tricky enough having sex with someone when my Mum is in the same building; in the same room would be a nightmare; with the same guy at the same time unthinkable. OMG.

We rolled home less inebriated than last night, didn’t have a nightcap either this time, and pretty soon I was away in the land of nod. I dreamt about having to rescue Callie from a locked lighthouse, which became a rowing boat once I’d broken the door down. I don’t usually remember dreams but I remembered the frantic feeling I’d had thinking I wouldn’t be able to get to my dog! The human psyche is a weirdly shaped fish, isn’t it?

 

Saturday 17^th August.

We had the brekkie at the bookshop after packing up the car and getting it ready for the off. We went to the Yallingup Chocolate Factory and bought a few treats for the kids back in Warnbro. I bought myself a kilo of their plain chocolate coated nougat. It has to be the nicest nougat I can remember since we went to Montelimar when I was a teenager. It was so soft and sweet with a definite cherry after-taste. On the drive back we decided to forgo the Dolphin Centre for a walk along Busselton Jetty instead – something Mum hadn’t done for ages and ages. We caught the little train to the end of the jetty and walked back. It is 1.8 Km long so it is no mean stroll. She told me I had been a babe in arms the last time she was here. Naturally I can’t remember that at all. Busselton itself is pleasant enough but once you’ve been on the jetty (and under it in the aquarium) that’s about it.

We made good time back to Warnbro, arriving at about 2pm. The kids were pleased to see us and their chocolate treats! Jeff was no longer strapped up and was raring to get playing AFL again next weekend! We put all the wine into the bar area in the formal lounge, the white and rose went into the drinks fridge. We instructed S & P that these would be our evening wines until they ran out, so they needn’t use their stock at meal times for a while. They are as pleased with the wine as the kids are with their chocolate.

Mum went for a snooze. I surfed the net and sent replies to several e-mails. Including one from Nadia offering an abject apology for her words in Perth. [I know, I said I wasn't going to have anything to do with her, but she's Nadia. She is mad!] It was too early to Skype Laura [still early morning in the UK] so I amused myself on Y!A Australia for a while. It was out here, I first found Y!A and have been an avid user ever since. I actually found myself nodding off in front of the screen so I went for a snooze too. I wanted to be reasonably fresh for Alex and Chris’s party.

The party was a huge affair. It was much bigger than I was expecting. Alex has a fairly big plot, in Baldivis, and his house is at right angles to his triple garages. This is important because he had rigged up a huge tarpaulin from the telegraph poles at each side of the garages down to the roof of his house, making a huge undercover area between the garages and the house. Why was this important? He had booked a band and they had set up in the garages with all their equipment. The tarp would mean the audience stayed dry if it decided to rain [which it did, BTW] so both the band and guests would stay dry!

There were over a hundred guests, so I didn’t even bother trying to remember everyone we were introduced to. I had another long jersey dress on for the evening. This was grey with the word “Love” printed on it all over in handwriting. It was a much more clingy number than the one I wore to Swan Lake and so I left off the bra and wore seamless undies so it looked as though I could be totally without underwear underneath. Oh, I hope I never put on weight, not being able to feel as marvellous as this in what I am wearing would be awful.  Going bra-less in a jersey dress causes much less trouble to my nipples as the fabric is so soft, rubbing against it doesn’t make them sore – some material plays havoc with them! I borrowed one of Jill’s denim jackets as a cover-up if I needed it. It was a bit too small which was just what I wanted. The ensemble was finished off with sandals that had a slight heel.

I thought I looked pretty neat, sexy without being tarty. Annabelle did a clone copy of me in a jersey dress of her own [bright red] and her own denim jacket. Of course she has no bosom to speak of underneath her dress. Unlike her aunt who after a while was seriously beginning to wish she had worn a bra! If they were smaller they wouldn't cause this problem.

The party was great: lots of booze [probably enough to float a battleship]; masses of food [savoury and sweet]; really pleasant guests and the band were good too. They were another covers band, like the one at The Settler’s Tavern, only the lead singer this time was a woman and she could hit the top notes very well indeed. They played loads of classics [according to Mum and Suze] and they went down a storm.

Chris had ordered a cake for Alex, made in the shape of the number 50, but she decided against having 50 candles, instead it had five sparklers – one for each decade she said. The band played “Happy Birthday to You” which we all sang along with and then everyone was given a piece of the cake when it had been cut. It was chocolate cake with a chocolate butter cream filling and top. I thought it was lovely and had a second piece.

I shuffled around with the girls to some of the tunes and chatted to loads of people. As I had been their guest for seven weeks or so I told Suze and Pete I would be their driver for the night, so they didn’t have worry about their alcohol intake. This meant I was on soft drinks all evening and didn’t get bladdered at all. I was drinking a concoction I’ve only found in Australia [made by Schweppes] which is Angustura Bitters, lemonade and lime juice. It is a hideous, childish pink colour but it tastes really, really nice. I found four litre bottles of this in the kitchen, so I hid them away so no-one else would drink them, was that naughty?

I met loads of Dad’s rellies, some of whom I had never met before at all. Alex is so like my Dad in his mannerisms it is quite uncanny. Standing watching him from the verandah it was quite easy to mistake him for Dad. This guy came up as I was watching my Dad’s brother do a very bad dance [just like my Dad does!] and asked me how I knew Chris and Alex. My god, he was absolutely gorgeous. I mean stunning! He had short tousled brown hair; a pleasant face with square chin; he was quite slim and looked muscular without being gross and over the top. His waist was tiny and his bulge was,  erm.. bulging! He introduced himself as Connor -a cousin on Chris’s side of the family. That explains why I had never met him before.

We exchanged a few inanities until he said, “I bet you have nothing on under that dress, have you?” I told him he’d never know. He said that was a pity as he’d got something for me that might fit quite nicely into what I had under the dress. I should have just slapped him and walked away. I know I should. He continued with, your ears might not like what I just said but it looks like part of you is excited by it. My sodding nipples had turned into awkward bumps through my dress! “They look like they need a little loving attention,” was his next line. “Not from you,” I told him. [I was thinking just leave Vicki, just leave. Go now.]

The bloody drongo reached across and caught hold of the button holed edge of my jacket, his thumb on the outside edge and his fingers inside. He muttered some crap about how it was a nice jacket and how nice and soft the denim was. It was good it was so small, it made my assets look more attractive underneath….  He started to run his thumb and fingers up and down the open edge of my jacket, the back of his hand slightly rubbing against the hat racks in my dress! I mean, right out there under the verandah this stranger was attempting to caress my boob! I told him that was enough and would he please take his hand away? His reply was, “Your mouth is saying that but I don’t think your body is.” It was like I had been hypnotised by his small talk and calm, softly spoken words; part of me was tempted to reach across and stroke his package through his trousers. Part of me was screaming out knee him in his bollox! I didn’t do either. I stepped backwards and pulled my jacket out of his hand so he wasn’t near my breast anymore. I had stepped back ready to swing a left palm as hard as I could at his smiling, lecherous face but at the same moment Chris came out and spotted him. She called to him saying something like, Connor, your wife’s looking for you. There’s a problem with the babysitter!

Oh. My. Fcuking. God! I consoled myself, afterwards, with the thought I had stepped back before aunt Chris came out. I had stepped away from his horrible, fondling hand. He hadn’t technically fondled anything, merely let his knuckles brush against my nipple but his intent was obvious. I admit, there was something about his manner, words and attention that was seriously flattering: I would have liked to give him a bloody hard slap across the face but also there was a worrying thought that giving him a BJ might have been nice!  

Chris came over and linked arms, taking me out to the area where the food was arranged. She told me that I ought to watch out for Connor, he was as good looking as Adonis but was a cruel bastard and a serial cheat on his wife!  She knows about me and Laura, but she also knows about Richard and the fact I am not exclusively homosexual. I must’ve coloured up completely. Luckily, the way we'd been standing, nobody could see what Connor had been doing.

She and I strolled around for a fair while longer and had a good gossip, about Connor and his infidelities and also about Alex and Dad. We touched on Mum’s divorce. She asked me about what I’d been doing so far on my visit. We watched as Connor and Dawn left the party. I didn’t know what to expect about Connor’s wife: she was as slim as Laura and as tall as Connor himself. She was absolutely beautiful with long, wavy, brown hair hanging in that loose carefree way you just know has cost a fortune to get like that at the hairdresser’s. She had a white two piece on, a mini dress that showed off legs to die for and a tailored matching white jacket which looked amazing. She must easily have been the most beautiful woman at the whole party, and there were some very pretty girls around! Why was Connor was prepared to cheat on her? Why? It just goes to show that men definitely do have their brains in the trousers.

I felt really annoyed for putting myself in such a position but then reflected I hadn’t known what he was going to do and while his attention was flattering I had instinctively started to take steps to protect myself and get out of the situation. More worrying than anything was the thought of BJs. I haven’t given one since Alan nearly a year ago. Maybe I miss a man more than I thought? Am I being unfaithful to Laura by having a thought like this? It was quite an upsetting feeling.

The party continued for several hours and I forgot about Pervy Connor and thoughts of a lewd nature, I just got on with enjoying myself. By about 3am I seemed to have lost the kids. The last time I had seen them, they had all been in the family room watching videos and when I looked for them they’d disappeared. I tracked the girls down to one of the bedrooms where they were fast asleep on one of the beds. Jeff was asleep in the back of S & P’s van. I circled the party to see if the rest of them wanted to go home but Suze and Pete were still happy to stay and Mum was too. I went back to the bedroom where Annabelle and Jill were asleep and joined them…..

Sunday 18^th August.

I was woken up at about 5.30 by Mum shaking my shoulder and saying, “Vicki, have you been drinking?” Well, thanks Mum, for that vote of confidence. She was rounding us all up for the journey home. I sort of understand why she thought I might have had a swift snorterino or two, being fast asleep at a party, but she quickly realised I had just been tired.

I drove everyone safely home and they all disappeared to their rooms for a long proper kip. I was bright eyed and bushy tailed again, so I borrowed Suze’s bike and cycled down to Rockingham beach travelling the reverse of the route I had walked the other week. I wrote what I was doing on the kitchen whiteboard and went out to meet the Australian morning. The sun was rising above the eastern hills and the sky was cloudless. It promised to be another glorious winter’s day.

The early morning air and the brightness of the day gave my mind a bit of clarity and I was able to think seriously about Connor. How much of my reaction was a result of the moment and how much was because of a repressed physical need? Do I really desire a penis? I have been using them since I became sexually active over 11 years ago; is having sex with Laura leaving a gap in my sexual needs? I think this may be a quandary to which I need to devote some serious thought. I love Laura. I know I do. I feel for her the same way I used to feel for Richard.  I will have to wait and see. One thing is for certain, I have to talk about this with Laura – face to face, not using Skype. It will give me time to come up with a solution, perhaps.

I was the only person on a bike I saw all morning. What a set of lazy buggers Australians are! I had a cup of tea and a bun at the shopping centre on Rockingham front [I was quite surprised it was even open so early] and then turned around and cycled back. Chaos Castle was more like Sleeping Beauty’s Castle when I got back. They were all still fast asleep. I think I enjoyed the cycling of the route more than I did the walk. I suppose it is because I was a bit higher up on the bike and I could sit down but still be travelling.

In order not to cause a fuss, I very silently prepared that night's dinner in the kitchen. I was doing a chicken dish with tomatoes and pasta which goes down very well. I did it a couple of times at Christmas and they loved it. I even made a huge pile of rosti which I can reheat in the oven. [I know that you shouldn’t mix pasta and potatoes really, but rosti are scrumptious with anything.

Generally today was a laid back and chilled out sort of day. When the revellers emerged from their pits they were content to do as little as possible. We sat and watched the Dockers demolish Melbourne in round 21 of the AFL at the MCG. Not as many points as the week before but still almost a hundred clear points win again! Rah, Rah and indeed Rah! They will now definitely finish in the top four!

Nobody mentioned swimming today. Wonder why?

 

Monday 19^th August.

We did swim this morning although Suze claimed to still have a sore head. How much did she drink on Saturday Night? Mum heard that I had met Connor. She and Chris had been discussing him apparently. She offered me a piece of advice, “If you ever see him again, take a taser with you!” It seems his wife puts up with his indiscretions because he always comes back to her! What a doormat!

We decided to visit the Bunbury Dolphin Discovery Centre tomorrow. (I think Mumsy may have been feeling fragile as well as her oldest child!)

As it was quite sunny and fairly warm I decided to see if the pool was usable yet. It isn’t! Bloody hell, it was cold. I waited until about 3 o’clock before venturing in. It must have been the quickest dip in the history of the pool. Mum just hooted. She thought it was so funny. She made a point of broadcasting what I’d done to the family at dinner time and I was met with all sorts of imprecations: Shall I fetch a doctor? Are you a secret Eskimo? You’ll need more blubber to stand the pool in winter (thanks Sis!).  I think she’s still hypothermic… You get the picture? I told them I was doing scientific research and I was now able to tell them with absolute, verifiable, empirical certainty the weather was too cold to use the pool in the month of August. If they wanted I could give them a copy of my report once I had it approved by the Australian Academy of Science.

Mum did dinner tonight. We had lamb. It was delicious. She’d done one of those crown of lamb things with rosemary and oregano. She even put the little hats on the end of each bone in the crown. The girls had never seen anything like it before. We broke open a bottle of our Margaret River wine to have with it (the kids had some heavily watered down samples). Jill and Annabelle thought we were mad paying good money for something which tasted so horrible. Suze and Pete approved our choice.

The kids had requested another of my chocolate pineapple upside down cakes for dessert, which I duly produced. This time I served it with a slightly spicy custard. It was another wow. Not as much as the crown of lamb though.

Tuesday 20^th August.

The end of my holiday is drawing near, tomorrow will be the start of my last week out here. Sob sob.

We went swimming again before dropping the kids off at school and motoring off down the highway to Bunbury. We took the coastal route through Mandurah which was a good choice. Mum has hired the car for another two weeks, which seemed a bit silly to me as there is the spare one at Warnbro. However, I learned that Pete was going to sell his car (now he has the van it is surplus to requirements) and put the cash aside to have enough to buy a runabout for Jill when she’s old enough – that will be next year. I was a bit miffed to hear this from Mum rather than Suze and Pete themselves. It seems they’d been discussing it at the party on Saturday. I had also been the topic of conversation, it turns out, me and the impending arrival of Laura into my home in September. Well, thanks Mum.

S & P think it is a lovely idea. They are all for it. Having someone to care for and be with will stop me turning into a frumpish spinster. [I got annoyed at this, but she was just kidding!] They also talked about whether I would ever be a mother. I mean, this is getting very personal. Their joint opinion on this was it would be one hell of a waste if I didn’t. The girls here, apparently, hang off my every word and deed. They love my company and think I am the coolest thing since sliced bread. Even Jeffrey thinks I am OK, which is huge praise indeed. I am not quite sure why Mum was telling me all this, but it was certainly nice to hear. I told Mum what Annabelle kept telling me (wanting me to be her Mum) and my Mum replied, “Well there you are then!”

I don’t think she was angling for a commitment to produce another Grandchild or whether she was just chatting. I told her there was plenty of time if I decided that is what I wanted. I also told her about how the research findings proved that fertility didn’t drop like a stone in your thirties as previously thought. I cited the article from the BMJ and how that idea was based on flawed data. That seemed to cheer her up.

We had got through all this before we even reached the Dawesville Cut. Arriving in Bunbury at lunchtime we found somewhere to have a bite before heading to the Dolphin Centre. I drove her past Fawlty Towers, which made her smile. It was good to see it was still there and trading under that name. We arrived at the centre with twenty minutes to spare before the afternoon cruise set off. This was just a boat trip around the inner harbour and Koombana Bay, not the swimming with dolphins the girls and I did at Christmas. Even so it was really good.

The dolphins are bottle nosed and very inquisitive. The guy in the boat said he was sure they knew the boat’s timetable and came deliberately to see it each day. There were over fifteen altogether in the harbour area and Koombana Bay - a couple of them even put on a free show, leaping out of the water for us as though they’d been trained to do it. Mum was really impressed. So was I to be honest. They didn’t do that at Christmas. (Actually, they may have done but we were in the water with them and so might have missed it.)

Mum wanted to go up the Bunbury Tower next, so that’s where we headed. It is like a lighthouse but without a light and is made of steel. It is painted with black and white hoops, so it looks like a lighthouse and it has one of the beacon lights for the harbour on top, (So in a way it is a light house, I suppose?) The view from the top is very good, especially to the north, as you can see right over The Leschenault Inlet. There are a load of lakes stretching between here and Mandurah but the locals have not developed them or used them in any noticeable way. Maybe they are too buggy for development? There is a settlement at the Mandurah end of Lake Preston, called Preston Beach but we went to have a look on the way back home and it is pretty tiny and non-descript, TBH.

We arranged our return time so we could coincide with the girls cooking tonight’s dinner. They did a pretty good job, they had cooked scallops and king prawns with a pea and spring onion risotto. They’d made my instant Black Forest trifle as a dessert (that was actually Jeff’s contribution). We told them we were very impressed, it was the truth. The scallops were done to perfection!

Between the main and dessert Mum muttered, “See what I mean?”

I sort of did.

 

Wednesday August 21^st.

Another swimming and school run start. Mum and I then went out to Point Peron. We haven’t been out there at all so far. It is a limestone headland between Rockingham and Shoalwater. It is lovely. Mum and Dad used to bring us here all the time when we came to Aus. It was one of their favourites. I suppose Mum hadn’t wanted to come in case it brought back memories she didn’t want.

I couldn’t stop my memories, though. I asked her if she remembered the time we’d buried Dad until only his head was left sticking out of the sand? She gave a wistful smile at that. I was probably eight or nine at the time and Suze hadn’t been with us on that trip to Australia, just me and Phil.

Phil cut his toe open on one of the limestone rocks at Point Peron on the same visit [it does make really sharp jagged edges when the sea gets to it] and we had to find him a doctor to get it stitched as we couldn’t stop it bleeding. He had to play hop along for a while after. Plus he had to have one of those stupid rubber socks on his foot if we went anywhere near water.

There are several old World War 2 defences on top of the hill at Point Peron so we trudged up through the sand to the top for a good look. We found three bright green lizards sunning themselves on the way to the top. The defences had collapsed even more than I remembered and some of them were fenced off with “Danger” signs hung from them. Each of the fences had holes in them and all of the signs were covered with graffiti. Just goes to show, eh?

The view was really good too. Apart from the one due west, which has the vast expanse of uninterrupted, never ending ocean. To the south are the little islands of Shoalwater beach and to the north are Garden Island, Carnac Island and in the distance Rottnest Island. They looked idyllic in the glistening sunlit water of the Indian Ocean.

From here we went to Rockingham Beach and had a walk around the shops, then on to Rockingham Park, where we did the same. These were just how Mum remembered them and on impulse we decided to do something we often did at Rocky Park: play the lotto. We each had a card and $10’s worth of entries for the midweek draw. We used to do this religiously every time we came to Australia. Funnily enough, it is something I have never done back home in England.

I bought a huge pile of mince at Coles and we went home to make a shepherd’s pie for Dinner. The kids haven’t had that since I was last out here at Christmas. Mum got a whole load of fresh fruit to make a humungous fresh fruit salad as dessert. Dinner was very retro and very English tonight.

 

Thursday August 22^nd.

We were all set for a quiet relaxing day at Chaos Castle. We were ready to be chilling after swimming, reading the papers, catching up on the Radio 4 programmes which get broadcast on ABC over here. This was all going to plan until we got back from dropping off the kids at school. Then we discovered Mum has had a win on the Lotto! I can’t believe it. She has just won $4,995.60. What a fluke!

It was the ticket she'd bought on Wednesday at the shopping centre but we hadn’t bothered watching the lotto draw TV show, we just looked in this morning’s West Australian at breakfast (after swimming). Mum had forgotten about it until I asked her if her lotto ticket had been lucky. She went very quiet and went “Oh My God”.  She then handed the paper and ticket to me and said, “Can you check that please?”

Five numbers and a supplementary one means she has won just under $5K. We hooped and cheered and danced around the room. The kids and S & P were at school or work and we didn’t know what to do with ourselves.

It will pay for her trip out here and other sundry expenses. I always have felt a bit guilty about Dad and us siblings inheriting money from Gran’s will but Mum not getting a penny. I’d thought it was because they were divorced but Chris didn’t either, even though she was married to Alex so it was fairly distributed I guess. Dad did give her a five figure sum from his amount, which he didn’t have to, but was a touching gesture. This little windfall won’t make much difference to her retirement. She got a fairly hefty lump sum when she finished work and has a monthly pension which is more than my new salary will be when I start work in September, so she won’t be a pauper! I have just never met a lotto winner before.

Once we’d calmed down we contacted Lottery West and they told her what she had to do. Basically the ticket acts like a cheque. The prize is a division three prize but she is still going to have to go to Lottery West HQ in Osborne Park to collect her winnings. That is from 8.30am to 5 pm Monday to Friday.

We picked the kids up and said nothing. We waited until Suze and Pete came home and still said nothing. When we had finished tea [Chinese style stir fry, cooked by YT] Mum announced what she’d done. We were almost bursting by this time trying to bottle up the excitement. Everyone was as delirious as we were this morning. They all want to come with her to collect her winnings. They have never known a lotto winner either, even if it is only $5K. We have planned to go on Monday straight from school. It is about 60Km from the school and we’ll get permission to collect them a few minutes early (about 2.30 to 2.45). It shouldn’t be a problem. Then Pete will drive us all in the van up the Kwinana Freeway, across Narrows Bridge to Osborne Park. The only worry is hitting rush hour traffic near the bridge, but setting off early means we should avoid it.

I know it is hardly much money at all, really, it is just the thought that she has won some which has got us all excited.

If she’d got another number the prize would have been just under $20K and all seven numbers would have won a jackpot of $10 million. Nobody won the jackpot. God knows what she’d have done if she’d won that. Actually, I do know. From what she has said, I think she’d buy something out here and spend her days flying between the two locations. I think it’s what I would do, if I had the money to do it. Perhaps I ought to start doing the UK Lotto? You never know your luck.

I wasn't meaning to imply I was God, just then. Honest.

The dipsomaniac Mum and Daughter go wine tasting!

Summer Diary – 2013. Week Seven.

Friday 9^th August.

I just love routine. I suppose it comes with the territory, having OCD and everything. The morning swim is what I do at home every day and it gives my day definition here too. I do think Mum is coming to realise this as well, especially because, from now on, her days will no longer have any definition or routine when she gets back home. Just what will she do with her retirement? I think the kids really appreciate the swimming too, plus it is healthy for all of us.

Nadia is still mad. More mad than I could have possibly imagined, in fact she is almost sectionable. But I get ahead of myself here. Narrative flow, Victoria, narrative flow….

She hated Norcia and could wait to escape. [It is in the middle of nowhere and is even less than a one horse town!] She has somehow landed herself a commission to do something at St. Mary’s Cathedral in Perth itself. She is still typically vague about what it is and when she’ll do it. Nadia was never one to be pragmatic or practical – Mum used to say, “She’s away with the fairies, that one!” I think she was right. I think she is obviously the yin to my yang or the other way round. I may occasionally sound all wishy washy and vague but I am Little Miss Practical about the home.

Nadia has published a couple of works too. They are illustrated psalms and liturgical verses. So her imagination is inspired from painting and not her own words. She was always so bloody fanatically religious, so it is not surprising she has turned to God as his artist in residence, as it were. I am afraid the sobriquet Mad Nad wasn’t because she had loads of wild, crazy, off the wall ideas; it was because she believed in God. I mean, God? Really? How could she have studied all that we did, got herself good A Levels and a Fine and Applied Arts degree and still believe in those bloody stupid fairy tales? How? You see, mad! You will see…

She claimed, and I could see where she’s coming from, it was all down to indoctrination as a child, and fear. This is how the Catholic Church captures most of its believers. I almost was indoctrinated too, until Father Patrick’s "lost temper incident" which knocked the scales from my eyes. At school, Nad and I had to agree to differ on this topic as she was adamant that I was wrong, wrong, wrong while I KNEW that she was!

We had lunch just by the Swan River, near the bell tower. It’s a beautiful oasis of calm in the midst of the bedlam of downtown Perth. As it was Friday she was having fish, Barramundi; I had the sea food platter. We ordered a side of chips each (pigs)! There was a brilliant Riesling Gewurztraminer from a Margaret River winery which was so nice we ended up having two bottles. [I would have refrained if I’d been driving, but I had come in on the train so that being slightly tipsy was not a problem.] The problem with booze and me, a long time ago, was it turned my libido up to 11! It used to have the same effect on Nadia too, luckily I have been able to control myself whilst intoxicated but I am not sure Nad has the same will power. She started outrageously flirting with one of our waiters [who was pretty dashing, in an Okker, Macho sort of way] and she ended up giving him her phone number! The Hussy!

I hadn’t the heart to tell her that when she tiptoed off to the ladies the waiter came back and asked if he could, possibly, have my number too! Do you know I was very tempted? However, I am a good girl now. I no longer just jump into bed with any available guy.

The waiter somehow reminded me of the time that Nad had one of her few brainwaves. She made herself a skirt which was just two pieces of cloth fastened to a waist band. The cloth was so full and gathered there was no way of knowing, by just looking at it, that it was in effect merely two pieces of fabric. She called it her selector skirt. If at a party, the guy she had chosen to dance with discovered the skirt’s unique construction, she’d let him put his hands inside [discretely, of course] and afterwards she'd take him home and screw him.  If they didn’t discover the secret then her little treasure box was locked to them.

A footnote to this was a tale about the formal ball after her finals. She wore an updated version of the selector skirt as a dress this time, and the naughty guy whose hands found their way inside its folds was her tutor! Not only did he find the way in, he actually put one of his hands into her knickers and fingered her while they were dancing! See why I called her a hussy? Apparently they had sex for several hours after the party; in the Art Studio, in his office, in his car but she never saw him again, ever.

After lunch we took in the touristy sites of Perth City centre, which, to be frank, could be any city anywhere. There is a token gesture to the Old Country, called London Court – an alleyway full of shops selling tourist tat. For the most part Perth seems stocked full of places to eat. I have never seen so many establishment dedicated to luring you away from cooking your own meals as in central Perth! Nad is staying at a hotel which overlooks King’s Park, so we wobbled our way back there and had some sobering coffee and cake in its restaurant. She’s not ventured anywhere really since she’s been here. She did the job at Norcia [and was so tight lipped about what went on there I didn’t press her] and then came to Perth Cathedral (St Mary’s) on a recommendation from one of the lay brothers. She's done no sight seeing or touristy stuff at all.

I mentioned where I’d been and what I’d been doing since I’d arrived and she was gobsmacked. She puts it down to having someone to be with when I went to all those places. This led, quite neatly, on to me asking about her ex-husband. She’d been married and divorced so quickly very few of her friends even had a chance to meet the guy. We acquaintances stood no chance. The next guy had been the next one, after her tutor, who’d found the skirt’s secret. She had married him at some haste it seemed to me. She divorced him when she found out he’d been sleeping with her sister! OMG. He’d not even had six months married to Nadia before he was hiding his sausage in the next available woman! This has caused a huge rift between her and Helen, it is what precipitated her move to Northern Ireland, and is the reason she is in Derry, doing work for the City of Culture and trying to forget the cheating bastard pair.

My jaw must have hit the table. I told her all about Richard and his death and my breakdown and the rest. She was very sympathetic which must have been a stark contrast to my open mouthed wonder at her revelations. She seemed so understanding, I even told her about Laura and me. This was a huge, mega, Krakatoa Explosion type of mistake.

She started to berate me: I was Unnatural; I was definitely the Spawn of the Devil; God would surely punish me and my perverted bitch partner for defying his ordinances.  I am afraid to say that I just laughed at her. I thought she was joking. It appeared she wasn’t joking at all. She was even more insulted by me laughing at her diatribe. My mocking laughter was further proof that I was one of the devil’s own whores. She told me that mocking the righteous for trying to impart the word of god was a grave sin.

This was a bit rich coming from someone who wore a skirt which allowed men to folder her personal bits in public. I was about to launch into my own tirade about her hypocrisy but seeing that she was deadly serious, I bit my tongue to stifle my reply and simply told her I was going to leave.  I beat a very swift exit, without looking back. I was quite angry. I didn’t cry or anything but my face must have been a picture of fury. I received several startled looks from the hotel staff as I barged my way out into the street. I knew she used to be a bit touchy on the subject of homosexuality but I hadn’t realised just how much. I suppose it may be because she is repressing her true feelings and desires behind this mask of hatred and she’s secretly yearning to be a Bull Bitch Dyke! In my magnanimity, I will put it down to the effects of the drink on my old school chum. However, I will also use that excuse for not contacting her again. At all. Ever!  If I do see her again it will because she has contacted me and apologised. I bet hell will freeze over before that happens. [I can’t wait to tell Kaybers about our old school chum’s complete loss of cool! She will be so amused.]

My Mum says I mustn’t worry about it. The name Mad Nad was given to her by me and my school mates and everyone for a reason, she has merely shown how appropriate the name was. She also made a bet that I will hear from her in the next few days to apologise for what she’s said. I am not convinced...

 

Saturday August 10^th.

I thought today was the day of Uncle Alex’s birthday party but it seems it is next Saturday. We will have been to Margaret River and back by then. I hope I am as active at 60 as Mum is, I just don’t know where she gets the energy from. She actually came and swam lengths with me and the kids today rather than go to aquarobics which she said is dull, dull, dull.

She has dragged me for a Swan River Wine Cruise today. I knew she’d got one planned for this week but hadn’t thought it would be at the weekend. When we got back, I felt a bit rough, having had so much wine on a comparatively empty stomach but since then I have got myself round a large tea created by Pete at the Barbeque, I am feeling a lot better.

The wine cruise was obviously designed for the tourist trade not the locals but I found it quite enjoyable. We caught the boat from the pier by the Bell Tower [Barrack Street Jetty] and were given a swift lesson in wine tasting by the cruise’s resident sommelier.  I think we knew as much as him about wine. We did get a few samples to try, this was included in the price and not to be scoffed at. We meandered up river and had various sights of interest pointed out as we passed: The WACA; Burswood Casino; The Avon Descent Finish etc.

We were heading for the Sandalford Estate, where a very tasty (if small) lunch was served and then we had a presentation about the winery and its products followed by a proper tasting – quite an extensive tasting. The wines were very, very nice and I could feel myself becoming more and more inebriated as the day wore on. There was a cellar door where we could purchase the wine we liked the most. We passed on that, because we’d gone up to Perth on the train and didn’t want to be encumbered with heavy bottles of wine on the way back. [Memories of lugging our suitcases round Freo prevented us!] There were several wines I could quite happily have quaffed until the cows come home. I fell in love with one called the "Sandalford Elements Late Harvest". It was delicious, I mean seriously delicious. The "Estate Reserve Verdhelo" came second. We are off to Margaret River next week, there’s a Sandalford Winery down there somewhere, so we will buy some then.

What was good though, was we found out that they have a UK distributor! So we can buy their wine back in England too! Rah, rah, rah! Mum’s favourite was their "Parmelia Cabernet Merlot". She has always been a red wine fan though, whereas [apart from Dornfelder] I prefer a white.

There weren’t all that many people on the trip [as usual for the winter season] so we had a lot of time to be instructed in the finer points of each wine we sampled. We also drank each sample, which could have been a mistake.

On the trip back down The Swan River we were served a sort of High Tea type meal and more wine. We almost literally rolled off the boat back in Perth! I was a little bit giggly on the train back, especially as this one guy got on who was so obviously wearing a wig. I whispered to Mum that it looked like he’d got a dead possum on his head and several of the passengers started giggling too. My whisper must’ve been louder than I thought. Mum, snapped at me, “Vicki, stop it!” Just like she was back at school, with me as her pupil. [This actually happened for almost all of my life in Norwich – she was Head of English at my school! Not the most ideal situation.] I gave her a meek, “Yes, Mrs Jay” in a whiney schoolgirl type voice and we both dissolved into giggles. This was not good because giggling is infectious; pretty soon lots of people around us were chortling along, or trying not to laugh or just plain guffawing out loud. The poor guy with the syrup must have been so embarrassed, he got out at the next stop – to even more gales of laughter. I had tears streaming down my face and my sides were aching from so much laughing.

Mum tried to calm the section of the train down by saying, “I apologise for my daughter. She opens her mouth and puts her foot right in it!” It had the opposite effect. They just giggled even more. I guess reading from the phone book would have produced the same effect, everyone was just infected by the humour. It must have looked really weird to see a train load of people all laughing away with no readily noticeable reason for their obvious amusement.

One woman, further down the carriage said, “We should all club together and buy that poor guy a present, for giving us so much fun!” That started us all off again as more people, quite openly now, started offering more suggestions as to what we should buy him!

I was so glad when the train pulled into Rockingham I was desperate for a wee, the combination of the wine and the giggling having a dreadful effect on my bladder!

When we recounted all this to the family back at Chaos Castle they found it very funny too. Suze told us that we shouldn’t be let out together, we were too dangerous!

 

Sunday 11^th August.

Mum did lengths again at the pool this morning. I hope it doesn't kill her doing this much exercise, she was quite sedate back in Sheffield.

Go Dockers, Go! We went to Subi in the end. There was a lot of umming and ahhing before we decided to give it a go. This was mainly promoted by Mum, who had not been to watch a live game in years. Wow, what a game! The Dockers won by the highest points margin in their short history. They absolutely destroyed the Great Western Sydney Giants 157 to 44. They won by 113 points which is the most they have ever won by. 32,000 delirious fans shouted themselves silly at the game, I was one of them. [Don't say I was silly already!] What a good decision it was to go and watch the match live rather than on TV.

We drove into Freo and then did the train journey from E shed car park again. It was just as busy, even though we set off quite a bit earlier so we could buy some lunch in Subiaco. It was unusual to be surrounded, almost completely, by Dockers fans. At the derby game there were probably an equal number of Eagles and Dockers fans. I assume that some of the crowd were Eagles supporters who just weren’t wearing their team’s colours. Certainly Pete and Jeff weren’t in their Eagles gear.

It was a very exciting, if rather one sided match. The Giants didn’t seem to have a clue as what to do to counter the Dockers attacks. In the end I almost felt sorry for their players who looked so dejected at the full time hooter.

Mum had a mega idea on the way back to Freo, she marched us along the road towards Perth so that we got the train at the next station up the line. When the train pulled in only a handful of passengers got on and we were able to get seats! Then the crowd shoved and pushed their way on at the oval station and played sardines again while we were sat snug and secure in our seats. Mum, eh?

Back home there was a message on Suze’s answer machine from Nadia. Just saying "Sorry!" and would I call her? I am not sure if I want to. Mum and I are off to Margaret River tomorrow, so I will wait until we get back from there, and see how I feel about speaking to her, before I decide what to do.

Laura Skyped from Dad’s house this evening so that we could all have a gossip. We ended up chatting for almost an hour! Loll also brought Callie to the screen and I tried calling to her but she took no notice of me. I guess our voices must sound different to dogs when they are heard through a microphone/loudspeaker system.  Mum and Dad even had a few civil words with each other before she said she had something to do and disappeared for the rest of the call. Suze got Dad to take the laptop on a tour of the house and garden so that the kids could see what our old holiday home looked like. They were amazed at how green it all was and just how magnificent the view from the back garden is. [It looks down to Solway Firth and then across to Scotland in the distance, with the smallish mountain Criffel to the left and Ben Gael and Screel Hill in the far distance.]

We had a good old gossip. The kids were surprised that Granddad [I can’t get my head round them calling him that] still had a trace of his Australian accent, despite having lived in the UK for almost all of his life. I suppose Mum still has her Scottish accent too, you just don’t notice after a while. He has managed to wangle himself a visit to see them over the Christmas holidays, for him and Louisa, and I’ve got myself roped in to House sit again. I guess it is the least I can do.

I suppose it may be because he doesn’t want to be left out of the Grandparental picture, especially as Mum is making such an impression on the kids over here. He has roughly the same timetable as me now so our Christmas holidays should coincide quite nicely.

It was really good having a chat with him, but it did make me nostalgic for England, even though I have only been here a few weeks and I’ll be back home before you know it. I think it is the people you miss just as much as the places.

 

Monday August 12^th.

The dipsomaniac Mum and Daughter are in Margaret River! Mum had hired a car for the week, from Ambrose in Rockingham. She got herself a Hyundai Getz for seven days. It is quite tiny and old. It has air con though, which is a must out here. It is also brilliant white, which is the most common car colour out here – a must because of the heat I suppose. I am named driver too, because I am over 25, so we can take turns in driving and such. I can’t believe the deal she got – it is costing her only $20 a day! That is so cheap.

Do I take after Mum or what? I booked special deals on the camper accommodation because it was out of season and got an extra day free. We are staying at a brilliant apartment in Margaret River for five nights for the price of four, and as it is winter Mum was able to get the owner to move the start day from Sunday to Monday. I think it was because he had no booking for the following weekend, to be honest. It is called Apartment 3 and it is so swish. It is on the first floor and has balconies all round. The one from the lounge is accessed through a glass partition wall which just opens completely. It is marvellous. I guess she was able to get the deal because she is a canny Scot (and I’m her daughter). Deals R Us!

It is an apartment over a business on Fearn Avenue, (this is the street parallel to the main shopping street) and is self-catering. It is less than a hundred yards from Coles, so we parked up, got the keys and while Mum unpacked the car I walked down to Coles to stock up with provisions.  I just can’t believe how immaculate it is inside. Plus, it is so close to the centre of town but on a quietish street too. Good call Aged Parent!

After a revitalising cup of tea [Earl Grey, naturally] we went for a stroll through the town. I have been here before but I didn’t recall just how nice it was. It is quite simply, beautiful. The Margaret River itself sort of marks the northern edge of the town, which rises up gently with the shopping area on both sides of the road. The shops are pretty good too. They aren’t Australian standard, find them everywhere kind of shops; they are mainly one offs and artisan places. There is even a marvellous independent bookshop with a café which may be our port of call for breakfasts as they do a full fried brekkie every morning!

We went to the mouth of the Margaret River this evening, at a place called Prevelly, just in time to see the moon setting into the Indian Ocean. It was absolutely beautiful, one of the most awesome sights I have seen for a long time. The moon was a dull orange colour and the same shape as an orange segment. As we pulled into the car park it was just about to hit the horizon. We got out and strolled down to the beach and watched as the bottom tip of the orange segment touched the water and then, ever so slowly, the whole thing was dunked into the sea by an invisible hand. I do tend to get over excited and use superlatives rather a lot, but this defied any superlatives I can think of. We were just stunned by what we’d witnessed. All the more so because it was so unexpected! We had gone looking for the Perseid Meteorite showers which normally hit the planet at this time of year. We can get whole astral firework displays if the night is clear enough. Although we sat for about an hour and sipped tea from a flask Mum had miraculously produced out of thin air, we didn’t see a single one. That was a little disappointing. We’d had the setting moon to compensate for our lack of meteorites though.

I wished so much that I was with Laura watching the moon, rather than my Mum.  I am not getting at my Mum at all but I think it would have been so romantic to have watched it with someone you are in love with, rather than someone you love because they are your parent, if you see what I mean? I bet I never get the chance to witness it again either, for, in all my 26 years on the planet I haven’t seen anything like it before.

We had an extra treat after supper, the cricket highlights from Durham! England won by 70 odd runs. Rah, rah, rah. That puts us 3-0 up in the series and the Ashes are well and truly won, not ours by default. The Aussie commentators were less than impressed. Oh, what a shame! Only one game left, could we make it 4-0? That would be brilliant. It might make cricket a taboo subject at Uncle Alex’s Birthday do on Saturday!

 

Tuesday 13^th August.

Wine Day One.

Look out vineyards here we come! We have bought a vineyards map and are going to be systematic about this. First of all, we have decided to stay close to MR in case we get accidentally blotto, it won’t be too far for a taxi to come and collect us. Secondly we have divided the area into MR South and MR North. We are going to take in six vineyards per day with us each having three choices. We spent some time last night, after celebrating the England Test victory, by searching on line for the vineyards we thought we might like to visit.

We have also decided [well, Mum did] that we ought to have a day off in the middle – just to prove we are not really a pair of dipsomaniacs. Mum has booked us two places [out of 12] on the same whale watching boat, from Augusta, that the girls and I did at Christmas. That is tomorrow’s jaunt.  Plus, we are going to look at the three tourist caves. I was keen to go to the one where you do semi-proper caving, being given a boiler suit and head torch and the like, but Mum didn’t think she could cope with caving in the raw. I do forget that she was sixty earlier this year! I have said I’d like to go to the Leeuwin Lighthouse, too, so our Wednesday is going to be equally as busy if less alcoholic.

So, my three wineries were: Voyager, Arlewood and Green Valley; Mum’s were Leeuwin, Cape Mentelle and Xanadu.

We did a loop round going to the ones on Stevens Road first – Voyager and Leeuwin. They were quite different in size and scale. Leeuwin is one of the major players in Australian wine, whereas not many people outside WA have heard of Voyager. In order to avoid needless repetition, we called at each place which had a free cellar door facility and bought one bottle each of the wine we liked best from the tastings. Mum thought we shouldn’t drink any of our pre-lunch tastings as we would definitely be drunk as skunks by the time we got to vineyard number four!

This proved a sensible plan, which I would have thought of, after I had passed out somewhere!

Voyager, was tiny and had a small range of wines. I was quite surprised that we both liked “Girt By The Sea” Cabernet Merlot blend best. So we bought two bottles of that one.

Leeuwin was as big and flashy as you would expect, the cellar door was very modern and they had an a la carte menu for lunch and dinner, which looked lovely. It was too early for lunch – which was lucky – as their prices were quite high! We liked the same wine again as the best one. “Siblings SBS” This is a Sauvignon Blanc Semillon and reminded me a bit of Dad’s favourite, Houghton’s HWB – Houghton White Burgundy. Another two bottles sold to the women with the British accents.

Next was Cape Mentelle, like Leeuwin, you can buy their wines over in the UK. They have a different export selection compared to what is available at home. It was Mum’s next choice and I teased here that she was playing safe by only choosing names she knew. I can’t believe it though, the third vineyard and we liked the same wine again. This time it was their Zinfandel. It was absolutely gorgeous. Out of the three wines we had chosen so far this was the best of the bunch.

Xanadu was next, and this was a surprise. The place was very well organised and we liked the cellar door man enormously. He was very friendly and attentive and asked us what our preferences were usually and then made suggestions as to what we might like best – offering us that choice first. He was right, I was given “Xanadu Cane Cut” and it was absolutely divine. Easily the best I’d had up to that point. Mum wasn’t as impressed though and she came down in favour of “Xanadu Petit Verdot”. A bottle of each went into the car.

We were getting pretty peckish by this time and we headed for Forest Grove to find somewhere to eat. After a swift snack lunch we set about finding the last two on our list which were actually in Forest Grove – that’s what I call planning! First was Arlewood. This was the tiniest one so far. Again we chose the same wine. This was getting to be worrying. The wine in question was a red blend called “La Bratta Rosso”.  It was yummy.

Last on our rounds [or so we thought] was Green Valley Winery. This was as tiny as Arlewood and we had a different choice here too, I loved the “Green Valley Riesling” and Mum preferred the “Green Valley Shiraz”. A bottle of each for back at Chaos Castle. This was to be the end of our foray into the tasting but before hitting Green Valley Mum had the brainwave of trying Stella Bella. We found the cellar door on Rosa Brook Road but decided to take ourselves back to the apartment, dump the car and take a taxi back to the winery. We clocked the distance as four and a half kilometres so it wouldn’t be too expensive.

What a brilliant decision. Stella Bella and Skuttlebucket are the same place so we had masses to choose from and this time we drank the wine, not spat it out. They had some brilliant ones to sample but I settled on “Stella Bella Pink Muscat”. It was sweet and summery and really fruity and by far and away the best of all the ones I had tasted today. I bought two bottles and had two more gasses full. Mum liked it too but her favourite was “Skuttlebutt Otro Vito”. She bought two bottles of that too. Then she had a glass of Pink Muscat with me and I joined her in an Otro Vito. I was a good job we had booked the return taxi as we were probably too giggly and silly to have made much sense down the phone otherwise. The taxi driver was the same one who’d taken us out there and he was amused by how much we had deteriorated in the hour and a bit we’d been there.

After dumping the new purchases, we had a shower each and then hit the town, heading for a restaurant we both liked the look of from the other day: The Settler’s Tavern. It has won several awards and was quite busy even for mid-winter. You don’t book, you just turn up. I had the Wagyu Steak cooked blue and I swapped my potatoes gratin for a different kind. I was a bit shouty at the waiter as he didn’t know what blue meant. I hope he was joking. I think I may have been a bit loud because of the wine! We decided to have mineral water rather than anymore alcohol, just in case. (Mum’s words) I did wonder “just in case what?” but kept schtum. Mum had the catch of the day, Barramundi. Why is it always Barramundi? I must ask S & P when we get back.

The atmosphere in the place was very friendly. It felt nothing like a fine dining place you’d get back in the UK, where everyone would be behaving like a stuffed shirt and being very “proper”.  The waiter came with our drinks and pleased Mum no end by asking if we were sisters! He must’ve needed extra strong glasses, or something. She just purred back at him saying, “She’s my daughter.” It was quite weird to watch a semi inebriated mother flirting with the waiter!

The steak was so succulent. Even better, though, were the locally sourced chocolate brownies. They were absolute heaven. It was a dessert to die for. The chocolate comes from a company in Yallingup called Bahen & Co. They will be getting a visit tomorrow too.

At the end of the meal we did succumb to more alcohol as Mum saw they had a dessert wine from Rivendell on the wine list. We had a bottle of that to finish [only a 375 ml bottle as it was a dessert wine].

I think we’ll be going back there again. Mum is keen – no, not because of the waiter – but because there is a live band playing on Thursday night. She does like live music. A couple of guys asked if they could walk us home from the tavern, but we politely declined their offer. I mean, what could have happened?

What a brilliant day. My Mum could have been my sister, today. It was so special. Getting pissed with a parent is obviously an interesting thing to do. [I won’t do it too often though!] Hic!

 

Wednesday August 14^th.

Non-Wine Day.

I was a slightly sore headed Maia this morning. I blame the dessert wine. We would have been OK if we’d not had that. I’m sure. The big breakfast in the bookshop got hit on the head, we had to be in Augusta for 10 and the bookshop didn’t open until then. Maybe tomorrow.

I think it was touch and go as to whether the boat would set out from Augusta, it was grey, cloudy, squally and there were occasional really strong gusts. In the end we did sail out into Flinders Bay! Mum would have been so disappointed if we hadn’t.

The boat was quite a lot smaller than the one the girls and I took from Albany and it bobbed about alarmingly at anchor as we boarded. The sea conditions were a little too unpredictable to bring it in to the jetty, so we were ferried out to it in the tender – this took three trips as the tender was quite small. Once underway though, you didn’t notice the motion at all.

The guy in charge gave us the low down on whaling and the kinds of whale we might encounter, we thought we’d seen some dolphins way across to our starboard side as we headed south from the jetty, but we were told they were actually Minkies! I have not seen these before. We headed in their general direction and then just drifted, sure enough they came round the boat to investigate us. There were four of them. The guy said they were young adult males who often went about in small pods. This brought laughter from the others on the boat and  comments of, “Typical Australian Blokes, then” from one wag – not me, I hasten to add.

The Minkies, just like a group TAMs, once they realised there was no booze or totty about, went on their way northwards. A sharp eyed wrinkly then said that he'd had seen a fluke over towards the coast line, so several pairs of binos were swept in that direction to reveal a bigger whale closer in-shore. We headed towards where the tail kept appearing and sure enough it was a solitary Humpbacked whale making its quiet way up the coast. It too came and had a brief inspection of the boat then carried on its journey towards the tropics.

Like it did in Albany the time seemed to just fly past and all too soon we were heading back to the landing stage. The wind had eased and so we were able to moor actually at the jetty rather than be ferried from the anchorage, which was good. Mum was just gob-smacked by it all. She said she now appreciates why we were so full of the Albany cruise when she first arrived about a fortnight ago. The experience and memories are just so powerful you have to tell other people all about it.

We had a swift snack at the Augusta Lodge and then I took her to the Leeuwin Lighthouse. This is built on the rocks at the point where the Indian and Southern Oceans meet. It is the tallest Lighthouse in WA and, luckily, it was open. Mum had to have a serious rest half way up the steps inside, but the view from the light room and platform was stunning and well worth the effort of getting up there. The guy acting as today’s guide was an old guy who knew masses and masses about Australian lighthouses. He and mum kept talking for what seem like ages! I got the distinct impression they were flirting! [How embarrassing!] I suppose he was rather handsome in an old guy sort of way.

We went on, when I could drag Mum away, to the show caves. We did all three: Mammoth, Lake and Jewel. I am glad we did Mammoth first as that involved the deepest descent – down several flights of steps – but then it became fairly spectacular. Limestone caves always produce wonderful formations of stalagmites and stalactites and Mammoth was no exception. It was a Walkman-guided tour and we were told about the rock formations and the prehistoric remains that had been found in the cave system, through those little machines. A good idea, I thought. Mum said she’d have preferred a ‘real’ guide. Mmmm………. Mother, getting frisky?

I said I was glad we did Mammoth first because Jewel was even prettier. Not as big as Mammoth but it certainly had more impressive formations. Plus there was less descent to the cave proper and we had a better lighting arrangement in this one.

Lake Cave was easily the best. This involved yet another fairly long ladder and steps descent into what became a magical touristy extravaganza. Inside the show cave it was all flat [I suppose it had to be or there wouldn’t have been a lake, durr]. I was hoping there would be a boat ride, like in the Cavern just outside Sheffield, which Loll and I went to last spring, but no – there was just a concrete walk way. What made this special was the lighting display. It was stunning. They used the reflections in the mirror surface of the lake to create marvellous vistas out of the stalagmites and stalactites which took my breath away. We didn’t get too long in the cave because it was quite a small one. If we’d gone in this one first the other two would have seemed paltry by comparison. So here’s Maia’s tip for the WA show caves = if you only have time for one, go to the Lake Cave. If you are doing all three save Lake Cave until last.

 

Back in MR we went to the bookshop café for a cuppa and a browse then I cooked dinner for us at the apartment. We had a fairly early night as we were both whacked.

Thursday August 15^th.

Wine Day Two – MR North.

Once again we had decided on our vineyards in advance. Mine were Edwards, Cape Grace and Brookwood; Mum’s were Sandalford, Howard Park and Adinfern. We also decided to pay a visit to the Margaret River Regional Wine Centre. I am quite impressed that from a selection of nearly 100 small [and large] wineries we have managed not to go mad and try to sample them all.

We decided to go to Sandalford first as it was the most northerly of the six. It was less well organised than the one on the Swan River but the guy inside was impressed that we’d been there and had decided to try their other estate. The wines tasted slightly different somehow, it was hard to put my finger on why but our selections stayed the same. The vineyard itself looked very imposing, with a splendid, stately home style main gate leading to a much smaller than expected building at the end of the drive. The cellar door was like a proper shop and I was sorely tempted to buy a couple of T-shirts. I decided against it really.  I bought a Sandalford Elements Late Harvest and Mum the Parmelia Cabernet Merlot.

The next stop was back towards MR again, the winery in question was Howard Park. This is on Miamup Road, Cowaramup. When we got there we had a surprise as it isn’t one but three different vineyards. I am not sure exactly how that worked and the cellar door lady was a bit vague about it too. There is HP, Marchand & Burch and Madfish all based there. That meant quite a few wines to try. We were back to Mum’s taste not drink approach to avoid premature intoxication. [We’d done it at Sandalford too.] My fave was HP Museum Release Riesling; Mum’s Madfish Shiraz. [I am sure I have bought that one in the UK, TBH, but I didn’t like to tell her.] A bottle of Madfish Sangiovese Rose was included as we both really liked that one, too.

Cape Grace Wines was a stone’s throw from HP with just a tiny dog leg to get there. It’s on a road just down from Miamup but and roughly parallel, confusingly though it changes its name from Fifty-One Road to Brockman Road where the dog leg joins. It could be easy to get confused by this if you had been drinking each sample. At CG we had our first convergence of the day – I can’t believe we are so alike. I suppose it is only natural really but when we keep doing the same things and liking the same things and finishing each other’s sentences, it gets a bit scary. The wine in question was Cape Grace Cane Cut Chenin Blanc. Now, for me, this was a total surprise as I usually don’t like Chenin Blanc. We both loved it though.

To get to Ellenbrook Road, where the next winery was, we had to drive through Cowaramup and then back out again. We spotted a likely candidate for a lunch stop but zoomed on to Edwards Wines. This was the disappointment of the day. In fact I would go so far as to say it was the disappointment of the whole trip! The selection was tiny and the cellar door person very grumpy. So much so that we only sampled one wine then I secretly pressed my ring button on my mobile and pretended we had to be in Cowaramup at 1pm.  We bought nothing and we were mightily relieved too. When we driving back to Cowaramup I couldn’t believe Mum said, “Who phoned and why do we have to be in Cowaramup?” I think she may HAVE been secretly drinking the samples after all. I explained, patiently, as you do to a small child, what I’d done. She was back on form again straight away calling me a “Patronising baggage!”

The likely candidate for a snack proved to be a good choice and I demolished a huge Aussie Burger and chips. Mum was more refined and had a chicken fillet sandwich [a posh name for a chicken burger if you ask me]. The café even served Earl Grey Tea. That was an unexpected treat. Mum made me pay as I had been so rude earlier. The cheek of it.

 We were still in a daze about Edwards Wines. Mum said she hoped their business went bust. I said the guy probably was suffering from constipation! We had a good giggle at the thought of all grumpy people being grumpy because of their irregular bowels! We set off to Brookwood Estate as our penultimate destination on today’s tasting route. This was the diametrically opposed opposite to Edwards, both on the map and in reality too. It was set in really attractive grounds; had staff who were pleased to greet and serve you, and it had a café! If we’d know the latter we’d have had lunch there rather than in Cowaramup. Still hindsight is always 20/20. Mum and daughter shared the same taste again, we both loved the Mellow Rouge. They had this deal whereby if you spent over $59 you were given two free, engraved Brookwood Estate Wine glasses, so as well as the Mellow Rouge we bought two of the “100 Above Fortified White”. The free wine glass deal was only meant to be a deal in the Café but Mum did the flirty thing again and persuaded the cellar door person to do it for wine as well. We would have eaten in the café, like I said, so Mum told him that too, which seemed to swing it for us. They are very attractive glasses.

Next stop was actually a winery on the Bussell Highway. Adinfern Winery. The couple who own this are called Smith, Yaay! They originally started out as farmers [sheep] but in the mid-eighties decided to give this wine making a go as a subsidiary to their farming. They still do farm their land but the winery makes them more money!  We both loved their Shepherd’s Rhapsody Red wine. It was delicious, one of the nicest we tasted today. Two bottles into the little car! We are planning on drinking all this with Suze and Pete before I go back to the UK. Mum is going to take some to Uncle Alex’s party. It is just so heavy to take back on the plane.

The Margaret River Regional Wine Centre wasn’t at all what I had expected. I was imagining it would be a distilled history of wine growing in the area and a set of displays and information about each and every vineyard. It was basically a shop. A shop where we could have bought every bottle of wine we’d purchased from each cellar door. They were a couple of dollars more expensive every time though. There was some tokenism to vineyard information but not all that much. Disappointing really.

Back home for a shower and clean up, then down to the Settler’s Tavern again for dinner. I had the fish this time and Mum had the steak. She didn’t have the Wagyu one like me but another larger cut. She has it cooked a bit more than mine so a larger cut ends up being smaller on the plate. We had some Elements Riesling with the meal and then some Mellow Rouge afterwards. All in all a good but tiring day.

The band that played was fairly ordinary, according to Mum, and they played covers all the night which was sort of a crowd pleasing thing to do I suppose. The Tavern audience seemed to like them, though, which was all that mattered. I thought they were too loud and the singer didn’t have a wide enough range, being very nasal and not attempting to hit high notes at all. We left before their set finished and that was at about 11pm. I think they could have kept going all night.

When we got back, we broke out the Happs Fortis and had a nightcap [or three]. We ended up having a really serious discussion about sex and life and love and stuff. I won’t go into it here, though. Maybe in next week’s instalment of this journal. [Or maybe not!]