My secret little love bump gets sore!

Monday June 2^nd.

Laura is staying at home to revise whilst I am going in to Uni for my final week (I think). She has decided to work at the restaurant every night and do her revision during the day. I think it seems a sensible approach. She is ahead of the curve in most subjects anyway and the money is useful for her feeling of independence. The only exam she is not sure about is Probability Modelling but she hasn’t spent as much time on that as on her other modules so far. I am sure she will shine.

Our supervisor told Feli and me that our work ends on the 12^th. It seems a strange day but who are we to argue? I contacted Mrs Briggs after our meeting and told her I would be available full time for the next four weeks after the 12^th. She seemed quite pleased with the idea of me coming back to work, full time, even for a short while. Laura is spending the first week after her final exam back up in Cumbria with her Mum and Dad as they have been missing her (so they say) and she will decide what to do with the four weeks of my being at XXX & Y when the time comes. I am hoping she’ll want to stay down in Sheffield with me, but it could be quite boring for her with me at work all day. I will see if Mrs B can’t swing it for her to get taken on as a temp somehow, that would be brilliant.

When I arrived home she informed me Prob. Mod. was in the bag. Something had clicked during the day and she was 100% convinced she will breeze the exam. I hope she is right. She had certainly breezed the evening meal. We had the last of the scallops from the freezer and they were delicious. I told her I can’t wait to take her to some of the brilliant sea food places in Western Australia. She will be blown away by them.

Dad phoned and asked me if I was going to use the van before we zoomed off to Australia. I told him I didn’t have the time as I would be working at XXX & Y until our flight. He accused me of being a workaholic. I said I probably was. Louisa has been experiencing morning sickness with the spog. I thought that was a bit early but he told me I knew nothing about it, he’d been through it four times now! No arguing with that I guess. I asked him what the ‘real’ matter was and he told me he has had an argument with Suze. She wants Louisa to have a scan done as soon as possible in case the baby has any problems; he told her it wasn’t necessary. So she lost her rag at him and told him it was bloody necessary, the kid could have downs or even worse, being from such an old mother.

I can usually tell when Dad phones me for an ulterior reason.

He wants me to Skype my sister tomorrow and beg her humble forgiveness on his behalf. I couldn’t believe it. I said I wouldn’t do it. It wasn’t my place to be mediator. It was up to him to sort it out. Suze was only thinking of the baby with her request. I though he was going to have an argument with me but he gave a huge sigh and said he knew it was his problem, but he was a coward. He was also scared about Louisa’s pregnancy and he couldn’t cope if the baby wasn’t “normal”. I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just “ummed”.

I spent the rest of the evening, while Laura was at Dominic’s, researching the incidence of abnormalities in births to older mothers. The statistics were not good. I think I may have frightened myself with the details so I decided I wouldn’t share them with Dad. I did resolve to call Suze tomorrow and have a proper talk with her about ‘complications’.

Tuesday June 3^rd.

A normal start to the day with dog walking and swimming as per usual and then we had a fraught Skype with Suze as she is quite (no, very) concerned that Dad seems so cavalier about Louisa and the baby. I was able to tell her he was frightened for both her and the baby and was really sorry he’d argued with her yesterday. She said that he wasn’t sorry enough to call and apologise to her. I couldn’t answer that and I didn’t try to defend him. She told me lots of facts about older mothers and the problems their children may develop. They frightened me even more than reading about them from the web. I told her I thought I ought to go out and get pregnant now then, if there were so many problems with having babies when you are in your later years (relatively).

She then tried to calm my fears by saying that the statistics made them seem higher because of the anomaly of the small demographic skewing the results. [That was exactly what Laura had been telling me for most of last night, to be honest, and I did report that to Suze who said, “Well, there you are then… …if a statistical analyst tells you that, you don’t need a nurse spelling it out do you?”

I told her I wanted everyone spelling it out and reassuring me and telling me it would be OK and not to worry. All the time every day until Louisa had the baby. She thought I was being silly. I reminded her it wasn’t silly, I still hadn’t any children at all while she had three beautiful healthy ones. I wasn’t really worried about Louisa, I was worried about me.

I got, “I know that, you drongo!”

On a lighter note I had good chats with Jill and Annabelle, who are getting excited about their mad Aunt coming to visit. Jeff was out playing AFL somewhere after school. Jill is still undecided about doing the camper van tour again (in reverse direction this time) I suppose it is because she doesn’t know Laura at all apart from our shared time on Skype with them. Annabelle is as keen as mustard to meet her and just knows they’ll be great friends.

The rest of the day was banality itself. We did the revise at home (Laura) University and Solicitors’ (me) and I came home to some delicious gammon strips with a pasta sauce and fusilli for our evening meal, after all that had gone on.

When Laura went down to the restaurant I made a couple of tray bake cakes. A chocolate fudge one and an apple and rhubarb crumble. The A & R crumble I made because I’d been talking about them at XXX & Y and foolishly said I would bring one in for the girls (women) in the Archives department. I hope they like it. I couldn’t wait until Laura got home to watch the last episode of Happy Valley. I am convinced that Sarah Lancashire should get an acting gong for her work in this series. I had recorded it too and for some stupid reason I pretended to Laura that I hadn’t seen it so I then had to bite my tongue to avoid spilling the beans on what I’d seen and blowing the whistle on my foolish deception! Why do we do such stupid things?

We decided that making love would be more fun than watching the end of the series, so we did. Laura is convinced tomorrow’s exam will not be as hard as she was expecting. I hope she is right. I feel so helpless as her area of expertise is so far removed from anything I do or have ever done that I can be on no practical help to her at all. I can offer her moral support and my unconditional love and hope that will be enough.

It sometimes worries me that this disparity in our working and educational lives could ultimately cause an irreparable beech in our relationship. Will she want someone that understands exactly what she is talking about (and vice versa) instead of me looking at her sometimes as though she is speaking Swahili? I guess it is easier for her to understand what I am doing than I find it understanding her maths. I do try to get it, but often I feel as stupid as a primary school child faced with calaculus!

Wednesday June 4^th.

Laura was up and walking the dog with me this morning, I suppose that is just a sign of her nervousness about today’s exam. We swam the usual number of lengths at the pool, ate our breakfast as normal and then I drove us both into the city. I dropped the Lollster at exam hall and then went on to XXX & Y. She is coming up to the office immediately after the exam and we’ll have lunch together.

I thought she was really quite well prepared for the exam, but as she went towards the door she turned back, rushed up to me, gave me a huge hug and kissed me – a passionate, heart and soul kiss, like she’d done on Manchester Piccadilly station all those months (years) ago. She was really quite worried. I gave her my usual comforting words and noises but left a little worried myself. If she was worried about her exam, it must be quite a challenge for her. Maybe that’s a good thing. I know when I am worried about stuff at work or Uni it makes me much better at what I am doing. I don’t get complacent or blasé about it and subsequent do a much better job than I expected. I hoped this worked for Laura today.

The rhubarb and apple crumble went down a treat. Word must’ve been played over the jungle telegraph as quite a few people kept dropping by to ask if there was any cake still going; including Christopher from accounts and my favourite barrister. She said she doesn’t normally like rhubarb but she loved the crumble. I think even my ears went red!

Laura turned up at lunch time with one of her maths buddies in tow (Shona) and we trooped off to the Indian for a spicy lunch. I am sorry to say I has jalfrezi. I know, I ought to try other items from the menu, but I do love jalfrezi. I got to know a bit more about Shona. As her name sort of implies, she is Irish originally but her folks moved to England when she was little. Her mum is a teacher and her Dad used to be a lecturer! Small world, eh? She is quite happy with the fact of Laura’s lesbianism even though she confesses to being straight herself (phew, that was huge relief, unless she’s bluffing). I can see why they get on so well, but they sort of reinforced my fears about me not sharing the same language as Laura when they discussed the exam they’d just endured. Swahili again!

Am I jealous of Shona? You bet your bloody life I am. Is she a threat? I think she may be… Look at Laura and me as an example: straight woman meets gay girl and straight woman has lesbian relationship with the gay girl. Mmm… Lightning does strike twice. Can I keep the green eyed monster at bay? I bloody hope so.

I left the two of them at Broomhill and went back to the office as worried as hell. Mrs Briggs spotted I was under a cloud and I explained to her (in her role as my alternative mother) what I had been thinking. She said what I had done was totally the right thing. If I loved Laura I had to trust her completely. If I didn’t I would sure as eggs drive her into Shona’s (or anyone else’s) arms. Arrgghh. I knew that. I knew that. It doesn’t make it any bloodier easier though. Plus it starts to put doubts into my mind. Had Laura really been nervous about her exam or had she been nervous about her relationship with Shona? OMG.

I ended up feeling really guilty as I had once spoken to an escort about starting escorting myself because I still hankered after a guy’s cock every once in a while and yet I was agonising about an innocent friendship between two mathematicians. I am obviously just a bloody hypocrite!  

If Laura hadn’t been at home when I got back I would have been desperate but she flung her arms round me as I walked in the door and kissed me just like this morning. “I want to fuck you now, Miss Jay. And I am not taking no for an answer!” She had our double ender and the strap-on waiting in the lounge (not the bedroom) and we spent about an hour and a half just enjoying ourselves.

At about 7.45 I said, “What about Dominic’s?”

She told me she’d phoned up when she got home and cried off tonight’s shift. Dom was good about it. He knows she is in the middle of her exams and, TBH, was surprised she wanted to work at all.

I am a bloody idiot, too. I can read people like a book, can’t I? A pages glued together book.

Shona, it seems is in the middle of dumping her current boyfriend and has just started with a new guy. She and Laura have been trying to get Shona into a more happy place than she is at the moment as her old BF is giving her grief and the new one has locked himself away for the duration of the exams! That was why she had come home and felt so grateful for the stability and security and the great sex that we have together. It was why she wanted to fuck me until I couldn’t take any more and for me to do the same to her.

She thinks she’s aced the exam, BTW. Her complete hand inside me means she has certainly aced the sex!

Thursday June 5^th

Laura’s penultimate exam day today.

My clitoris felt so swollen this morning. I hoped Laura’s teeth hadn’t caused any irreparable damage to my special little love bump. She promised to gently massage it better for me, immediately, and I can honestly say it is working fine, if feeling a little tender. In the same spirit of mutual support and helpfulness I can also say that hers is in fine fettle too.

We didn’t get to the pool until 6.30 and Sarah was getting a bit worried about us. I confided in her the truth. She was a little embarrassed at first but then asked us all sorts of frank questions which we answered truthfully and candidly. She ended with, “I think I ought to turn gay. It would certainly give my clit more of a work out that it is getting at the moment. I tell him often enough what it is and what it likes but he just gets on with pounding away…”

Laura said, “Well. You can always join us if you like…”

Sarah looked shocked and then laughed, “Well, you almost got me there. Good one!”

In the changing room asked Loll if she had been joking and she said “Of course I was. I am not sharing your special little love bump with anybody. So there!” I was so tempted to bury my head between her legs there and then (we have had sex in a changing cubicle here in the past) but I resisted the temptation. She did have an exam to do after we’d had our swim and breakfast.

I drove us both to Uni and Laura went of looking and feeling (I am sure) much more confident than she had yesterday morning. I tracked down Felice and we continued our exploration of Mediaeval documents which had been rendered by the multi-spectral imagining department into less illegible items.

Laura arrived at XXX & Y at lunchtime feeling extremely chipper and declared her exam a doddle. She had answered all the questions really well, she thought, and had enough time left to review each of her answers. In one she’d found a silly computational error which she was able to correct and that pleased her no end as well.

Mrs Briggs joined us (Laura, Feli and me) at the Lokanta Meze bar for lunch and had the lunch-time special along with us. She had a bit of news for Laura; she had found a month’s work of filing work if she wanted it to coincide with my full time month at XXX & Y too. I could tell Laura was pleased as it meant she wouldn’t have to spend the month with her folks back in Cumbria but she could still have her planned week with them and being paid pro-rata meant she’d be paid about £1000 after tax for the whole month! To say she was a happy bunny was an understatement.

Mrs B showed her what her job would entail after lunch while Feli and I continued our wind down of the operation until September. I am still a bit gob-smacked that we are getting the break but I am not quibbling, it means I can spend the summer in Australia as planned.

Laura pitched up at about 4 pm so we skived off for the rest of the day. I cooked our evening meal and 

then walked down with Laura and Callie to the restaurant. She had decided to keep going to Dominic’s during the month at the solicitors’ but doing only three nights a week instead of her usual amount, if Dom was agreeable with that arrangement. He feigned profound sorrow at her reduction in hours but was fine with it really. He told her that he knew when she started her final year he was on borrowed time with her at the restaurant anyway.

I did the same journey at the end of the night to collect Laura and instead of just wandering back up; we ended up have a long old gossip with Dom and his wife about life, the universe and everything. Well, mainly about what Laura would be doing after her finals.

She hasn’t decided yet. There will be a post grad. Careers fair at the start of the new academic year (as usual) and she was pinning her hopes on that for some direction. Dom did wonder if the part time job at XXX & Y might blossom into something more permanent, but unless she did a huge sideways step away from maths neither of us could see how that would work.

We talked about the same thing as we strolled back up the hill (OK, puffed and panted up the hill) back to my little house. She seriously does want to work in a field that will utilise her mathematical ability and she is determined NOT to go into teaching. Phew.