Sunday 4 May 2014

The cons of motherhood. (No pros to be found?)

Monday April 28th.

Back to work and the usual routines today.

Dog walking, swimming, chatting with Sarah about our vacation and Arran. Doing the Times crossword in 15 minutes!

When we got back yesterday I hadn’t spotted a statement from bank telling me the yearly interest and tax paid on my savings accounts. In all my accounts have made £16000+ over the year after tax has been paid. Rah rah rah. That has put my share of the price of the caravan on Arran back into my account (almost).

Richard’s parents also sent me a card on the anniversary of his death. I try to keep my remembrance low key as I find it very distressing. The trust fund has made over £50k this year. They enquired after my health and mental condition and the state of my relationships. I have told them about dumping Alan but not really about what I meant by Laura had moved in. I suppose they look on her as a lodger I have taken. I really ought to put them straight on the matter.

At work Feli and I met our supervisor and she is very pleased with progress we have been making, especially with the material which turned out to be palimpsests. We have been able to recover a lot of information from the underlying script with the help of the Science bods. {And, of course Feli has been underlying one of the Science bods too!}

Feli and I have collated all our casket notes and photographs. We have rather a lot. This makes me wonder if we ought to inform our supervisor of our side project. Felice is dead against it, though. We have contacted a woman from the Royal School of Needlework and are meeting with her on the day we go down to see the Sampler Exhibition later this month. I am looking forward to that no end.

I have e-mailed all my tutees to offer support and encouragement for their end of year assessments and to invite those who want to meet up, to arrange a time at the end of the week or early next week. Ms Scothern replied almost instantly, so I have invited her to join us for lunch at the Cottage on Thursday. (Well, she has become special over the year.)

Laura was at Dominic’s tonight so we had a swift bite and I dropped her off and then went to do a mega food shop at Morrisons – we were getting rather like Mother Hubbard at home! I can’t believe I spent over £120 on groceries and the like!

I was busy all evening with my new sewing project, a bonboniere. It is fab. I almost lost track of time and could have left the Lollster to walk up the hill. I decided to take Callie down to meet her and we walked back together. Dom gave Callie a pile of pasta. Not good really but I didn’t like to refuse. This meant we could shower together before bedtime and enjoy each other’s special little places!

Tuesday 29th April.

Kaybers went into hospital last night but hadn’t produced the baby! We went down straight from work to see her and she looked hot, sweaty, and exhausted. She has told Jan he is never ever going to come near her again! It seems every mother in labour tells their husband/partner that… Mmm…

Two part day went as usual. In fact apart from the production of an Anglo Norwegan baby in the early hours it was a Radio Stars’ Song Day. Hanne Ingrid Orr was delivered to the world at about 3am. Mum, Charlotte, and baby Ingrid are doing fine.

Laura and I sneaked another visit to the hospital this lunchtime and were told by Charlotte she’d be home by tea time! I think the baby looked just like her, she wasn’t so sure. Jan’s plans of having his child born in Norway came to nothing after all but they are going to take her to see the family as soon as they can. Ferry and car from Newcastle is their plan. It’ll be strange to have Kaybers as a mother. It probably means she’ll tone down her mad behaviour. I suppose we have grown apart a little over the years, especially since Richard’s death and my flight to Australia. I think she took that as a snub – which it wasn’t.

She was disappointed the baby won’t be a Gemini like her, I told her it was all hokum as I was nothing like a Pisces. I don’t think that was the right thing to say, looking back!

The other two girls in ARR (not Mrs B) joked about how I’d be next, when I explained where we’d been at lunchtime. I just smiled and didn’t rise to the bait. Kaybers is the last of my close friends to have a baby. That is a very scary thought.

Wednesday 30th April.

Sarah at the pool also told me I’d be next, when we explained about the new baby. Once more I bit my tongue on the subject. All these babies in the last couple of months have thrown me into a bit of a tailspin. Yes, they are gorgeous and they obviously have made each set of parents very happy but, why do I feel nothing but fear and dread at the prospect of me doing the same? Maybe I am a freak?

I tried to explain this to Laura as we drove into the city. She said that she knew. She thought they were lovely but why couldn’t you get one that was already weaned and potty trained and sleeping through the night? That would be ideal, wouldn’t it? I decided we needed a time machine so we could be 17th Century Aristocratic mothers. Their babies were whisked off to a wet nurse and all the tedium of the early years was dealt with by someone else. All you had to do, as a mother, was to enjoy the good bits of the infancy without the mess! The snag is, even with a time machine we wouldn’t be aristocrats when we went back in time, just peasant women. Plus, mortality rates were pretty dreadful back then too, not only for the babies but the mothers too!

I told Mrs Briggs all this and she thought it was possible to employ a wet nurse type person these days if you had the money. Now… there’s a thought! Maybe some research is required into the subject. Would the child become too attached to the wet nurse and not recognise you as its mother?

Thinking about babies, far from giving me a warm cuddly glow, has begun to do my head in!

Work was another Radio Stars’ Song as well. It does seem to be a bit of an anti-climax after the two weeks of being in Scotland. That’s the problem with travelling, the more you do the more you want to do. Still, in two months’ time (and a bit) we will be winging our way round the globe to the antipodes and I’ll be playing at tour guide for Laura’s personal benefit. We are going to do in reverse what the girls and I did last summer in Suze & Pete’s camper. We will start at Kalgoorlie and finish at Bunbury which should make it fresh for me too. I am not sure if the girls will be joining us this time, if they aren’t it means we can avoid the Aussie school’s two weeks holidays in July and get cheaper rates for things like site fees etc. I would like to take them again but maybe they would feel embarrassed with Laura being present too. It is one thing knowing your Aunt has a girlfriend, if that GF is half way round the world. Having the said GF present all the time might be a different matter. Both girls are a year older, of course, and hopefully a bit wiser and more grown up and so should be fine with it. Plus, we are obviously going to restrain our sexual desires if they come with us, so there will be no chance of them catching us “at it”!

Thursday May 1st.

Felice had a surprise for me this morning. We are zooming down to London to go to the National Gallery. She has persuaded someone in the bursar’s department to stump up a sum to buy train tickets as it is part of our research (she has barefaced cheek at times). It is not part of our research at all! We will get reimbursed after the trip. Laura is going to come to. Apparently this Gallic crook had booked the train tickets about six weeks ago and got a mega deal on a return fare to London and back. We leave at around 7.45am and catch the 5.30ish train back. I asked her what we were going to see and she said “Veronese!”

It just goes to show that you talk about wanting more travel and, hey presto, in Victoria Maia Elizabeth’s world the fairy godmother grants your wishes! I have read about Veronese and seen several of his works in books but never at an exhibition. The gallery has about 50 works on show. I hope they have the Feast at the House of Levi on display as this is what first attracted me to the artist. He originally called this piece the Last Supper but the Inquisition heard about it and when they came to see the piece they objected strongly to some of Veronese’s little quirky touches. They ordered him to remove these quirks or face the consequences. Paulo refused and simply renamed the work Feast at the House of Levi instead. Thus avoiding trouble with the Inquisition and avoiding having to alter his work too. It was this bloody mindedness in the face of religion which naturally made me want to find out more about him.

We were full of our jaunt to London at lunchtime and may have made poor Mandy feel pushed out a bit. She is doing fine and thinks she is on course for another 2.1 so that can’t be bad. It is down to her, of course, I can only offer and suggest things to her. If she decided to take the advice or not, that’s up to her. It is hard to reconcile this confident and determined young woman with the homesick waif I met way back in October. For that change I may take a little of the praise I feel.

I called Mum from work and she is going to look after Callie for the day as we will be leaving very early and getting back quite late. To that end, I snuck out early this afternoon and fetched the puppy; then when Laura had finished we drove down to Holmesfield so we could have tea with Mum and leave the dog. She is quite happy to be left with Mum (or Dad or Julie for that matter) she was abandoned by me at about 3 years old when I fled to Australia for a year. She quite happily lived with Dad and his three all that time. I just didn’t want to leave her for over 12 hours by herself; she may end up getting distressed by that.

I have promised to take us all to a brilliant eaterie in London which is quite close to Trafalgar Square but which isn’t used much by tourists!

I drove Laura to Dominic’s straight from Mum’s and had a spookily quiet night at home without the pup. It is amazing how much you miss her when she isn’t there! We had a shared shower when Laura got back and a night straight into bed without a dog walk, which felt very strange!


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