WA's biggest phallic symbol and exploring Mother Nature's holes. Ooh er, missis!

Monday August 25.

Woke up this morning and discovered the local ABC news forecast on the radio had a severe weather warning for points from Bunbury round to Albany. The weather would come in after about 7pm this evening so we rushed our brekkers and headed out for the 10am start for our whale cruise. We drove to the landing stage area yesterday and worked out it was only around 1Km away so we’d walk and leave the van where it was. We set off at nine and were there by half past, and we’d dawdled! The Naturaliste Catamaran was riding at anchor in the bay and as we waited a guy in a ute with a trailer attached pulled up. He reversed down the ramp and floated off the tender from the trailer. This was out method of getting aboard the boat. It took about 8 people at a time and needed three trips to ferry us all across the waves.

The boat can hold so many more so it was quite empty with just 30 on board. This is the same chap and cruise we had last year when Mum and I went on it. That time we saw a bunch of Minkie Whales. I mentioned that to the chap in charge but he didn’t remember us but he remembered the Minkies (only to be expected, I suppose). He said that there had been a southern wright and calf in the bay for the past couple of days and if we were lucky we’d get to see them. To that end he heaed straight for where he’d last spotted them. I was impressed by the turn of speed we produced to skim over the very calm waters of Flinders’ Bay.

He cut the engines and we drifted for a while all eyes scanning the horizon for the tall-tale blow as the leviathans came up for a fresh breath. Eventually an eagle eyed codger thought he spotted a spout way back beyond the direction from which we’d come! The boat guy trained his bins on the area the codger indicated and sure enough he spotted the spouts too. So we headed off, at speed again, past the jetty and towards the Leeuwin Lighthouse. When we got closer to the light, as an aside, he told us that if we were planning on doing the light and any of the caves there was amega pass available which gained entry into all four attractions for a fraction of the price of all four bought individually. What a nice man to tell us this!

The law states we can’t chase the whales so once we were within a  hundred metres or so he cut the engines and out momentum allowed us to drift closer to them. He also said that if it was the same pair the baby was very inquisitive and would quite probably come up to the boat. It did! It was about a quarter of the size of its mum and it swam round the boat and then gently came up to the stern and nudged us with its head. We all got showered with spray from its spout as it circled off again. This is twice in under a week we’ve been whale snotted! Laura was filming foe England with her phone and got some brilliant footage of baby whale bumping us and spraying us.  After about half an hour of interaction with the two of them the boat guy asked if we wanted to stay put of head off to try and find some more. The consensus was to stay put. So we did.

The guy told us some more about whale behaviour and the actions we might see them perform. The one we had to watch out for was the peduncle arch. If our whales did that it meant they were going to do a deep dive and we might not see them for quite a while. He mentioned the tail slap and fin slap, the tail up dive and the tail down dive, the head bob. He told us so much more about whale behaviours than I had heard on all out whale trips prior to this. He did mention that southern rights weren’t as prone to these actions as the humpbackeds but lots were common to both. He did tell us that the baby hadn’t read the manual and so would do all sorts of weird and wonderful manoeuvres which only the juveniles do. They then grow out of them as they get older. We had to watch for the baby rolling along the length of its mum’s back – that was a favourite, apparently. Sadly, our baby must have grown out of that particular action (or its mum had told it off for doing it!)

All too soon it seemed our two hours were up and we made our way back to the jetty. It had been a brilliant morning’s viewing and I know that both Laura and I we elated by what we’d seen. We walked back to the campsite and had our sandwiches (made in advance and left in the fridge) and a cuppa. As we drove round to the Leeuwin light we could see the charter boat heading out again in to the bay for the afternoon excursion. We wished them as good a trip as ours.

The Leeuwin light is excellent. It will be the tallest of the lights we will visit and it does look the part – stuck at the end of a rocky peninsular thrusting out into the ocean where the two biggies meet; The Indian Ocean and the Southern Ocean. Once again we had jokey commentary from the guide and we felt knackered on reaching the top platform area. The views are stupendous. It really is breath taking to be up there looking out onto the vast expanse of empty ocean, and that isn’t just because of the climb to the top.

After climbing the biggest phallic symbol in Western Australia we decided to go down the biggest hole in WA too, the Mammoth Cave. I chose to take Laura down this one as it is (IMHO) the least attractive of the three Augusta Caves. It is a self-guided one and we arrived there well before last entry time after making a minor diversion to look at the fossilised water wheel (on the road to the lighthouse). This is a pretty impressive example of the work of nature and the speed with which it can work. A lesson to all
Australians I think.

Laura though Mammoth Cave was pretty impressive but I told her tomorrow’s one would knock her socks off. I think she found it impressive because it was so empty we could spend a huge amount of time having a subterranean snog and fondle. Back in the van, in the car park, we had to continue what had started underground and we eventually rolled up at the campsite after it had gone dark! The benefits of having a mobile knocking shop!

We spend a relaxed night attempting to get the local news on our TV and watching a film that we found on GWN7. No, it wasn’t a porno film! They have a claim to ‘infamy’ having accidentally broadcast a porn movie that the guys at the station were watching out live to the public instead of the schedule! Heads rolled for that. I can’t claim to have watched it, having been not even a sparkle in Dad’s eye when it happened but it seems to have passed in to WA folklore. Laura could imagine the shite storm that would ensue if something
like that happened in the UK. Imagine if BBC ! broad cast Sapphic Erotica to the nation instead of Match of the Day! LOL

Tuesday 26th August.

We struck camp early in order to get to Jewel and Lake caves early. We arrived a few minutes past opening time at Jewel Cave but despite it being almost deserted we thought we had better curtail our sexual frolicking below ground in case we were caught in delicto as it were. After both Jewel and Lake Caves Laura declared that I was right, Lake Cave was the most beautiful and we had done them in the right order. They are well worth a visit if you hit this remote corner of the continent. I think the close proximity of them makes it a must.

We headed north next, to Margaret River where I took her to Mum’s and my favourite eaterie when we stayed here last year – the bookshop. We had a good old wander around the town first and did some minor retail therapy (main buying stuff to go into my goodie bag presents for back home). I do like the feel of the town or MR, it has a touch more class about it than other spots out in the bush; which can look a bit like one horse towns from the American wild west! Laura could see what I meant and agreed.

We then drove through the wine belt, northwards again, until we hit Dunsborough. Here I sprung a surprise on my blonde angel, she assumed we were going to another campsite. I had, in fact, booked us in for two nights at the Railway Carriages (on a deal where we got a third night free). She was delighted at the idea of the carriage stay, even more so when she got inside and declared it to be perfect. The tame, wild Kangaroo and offspring that come around the carriages and lodges were an unexpected treat for her. Tears welled
up as she fed the tamest roo with the special food provided in the carriage. The creature was so tame it takes the food from the palm of your hand! My timing was such that after some marsupial repast we had time to hit the Cape Naturaliste lighthouse well before closing time.

Laura joked that if the Leeuwin was WA’s largest phallic symbol, then Naturaliste must be its only circumcised one! Smutty jokes from my beloved. What ever next? We had the guided tour and then spent an age looking out from the light platform over the Indian Ocean. We declined the chance to walk the trail down to the promontory look out over the sea to go instead down to Canal Rocks before it went dark. These are a series of rocky outcrops on the coast which have formed natural channels through the action of the sea. They aren’t all that large but they do make interesting scrambling, with the added ‘bonus’ of getting drenched if a particularly large wave breaks over the rocks. We spent more time here, messing about on the rocks, than we had at the lighthouse. Sat in the van afterwards we had a cuppa and some sangers as we watched the sunset over the ocean.

We Skyped our respective Mums and Dads back in the UK, this took quite a while. Then we Skype Suze & Pete’s and we chatted for over an hour there too. They are all set for the Beethoven concert on Friday and have tickets for us to see the final round AFL game between The Dockers and Port Adelaide at Subi on Saturday. The game is a 1pm kick off, which was a bit of a surprise. I have told everyone we’ll definitely be back by 1pm on Friday. We are going to take the Transperth into the city for the concert so we have no mucking about driving and parking. For the footy we are going to drive to Freo and train it in from there to Subiaco.

We spent the rest of the night deciding which vineyards to visit and decided that we must go to Happs and Rivendell and we are going to fit in Fraser Gallop as well. We can’t go to too many as we’ll get too blotto to drive anywhere. We chose Fraser Gallop as they sound like they have a brilliant philosophy about their wine making, trying to preserve the taste of the fruit in the process and handling the grapes to an absolute minimum. It also helps that the Margaret River Chocolate Company is just round the corner, too!

Wednesday 27^th August.

Yee haw. We have wine tasted and sipped’ sloshed and guzzled our way through fifteen different wines today. I bought two cases from Happs, one from Rivendell and one from Fraser Gallop to drink back in Warnbro and then leave with Suze and Pete as a thank you. (They refuse to take money for our board and lodging.)

We went to FG first as it was furthest away. We had to phone to book a tasting and we got a 10am slot straight away. The property is built to look like an English country house and the wines are very classy indeed. They don’t have a vast range but the ice pressed chardonnay was delicious. I am usually a nay-sayer when it comes to chardonnay but I loved this one. It was possibly the nicest one I have ever tasted. I also loved the Parterre Cabernet Sauvignon. I do like a nice Can Sauv and this exceeded nice by miles. Laura wasn’t too taken by either but ‘could drink them’. I know Pete’s taste quite well and knew he’d love both so I bought six of each.

We wobbled round to the Margaret River Choc. Company next. It is a really funny looking building in a style which can only be described as builders’ yard plank stack. However, they do free tastings (which we did) and have a café with cakes and choccy products for sale too. We had a good old sample of the choc and I was suckered by the orange flavoured one and the dark choc with red wine. Laura loved the nougat. So after a nice palate refreshing cuppa and a couple of slices of the most delicious chocolate cake on the planet, we stocked up with gourmet chocolates. I bought a small truffle selection for the Rhodes back in Warnbro too.

Our plan next was Rivendell. We hit there much quicker than anticipated. Their cellar door is much more functional than most but they have a selection of all their Howling Wolf range. We already knew the Cabernato so I had order 6 of those before we even tasted the rest. What we hadn’t found on our journey round the bottom corner was their Pink Shiraz. This was brilliant, almost as good as their Cabernato, so I bought six of those too. Because we were booked in for lunch in the restaurant the chap at the cellar door let us sample 10 of their wines rather than their usual five. I was impressed by this common sense approach but despite tasting almost all of their range we decided that we had chosen the two wines we liked the best for our case.

We indulged ourselves in the restaurant with their porterhouse for me and the deconstructed paella for Laura. They were both delicious. We sat around for a while afterwards with a cuppa (they actually made us some tea!). After a suitable rest we headed off for Commnage Road and Happs winery.

I have been here before and I just adore their sweet wine selection. They have extended their range from the ubiquitous Fuchsia to another pink and two whites (ditching the cringeworthy appellated Marreeme white). Laura was as impressed as I was when I first tasted their selection. I loved all they put before us to be honest but I bought a case of pink (6 Fuchsia and 6 Muscat a Pink) then a case of white (6 late picked Verdelho and 6 White Fuchsia). The guy at the till must have had dollars signs rolling round in his head at the size of my purchase. He helped stow them under one of the seats in the camper for me while Laura went wandering in the pottery and was flabbergasted at the amount we had under there already.

I joined Laura in the pottery and we admired the work on display and bemoaned the fact that even with a 40Kg baggage allowance taking any of the marvellous artefacts we spotted was just thoroughly impractical. We bought a couple of small pieces; some leaves which are blue and will look brilliant mounted in a frame and an oil burner which had a really sensuous tactile curvy shape. The idiot tried to sell us some oil to go with it but I said I’d wait until I got home. He asked where home was and seemed surprised when I said “England”. I guess there are a lot of ex-pats in WA nowadays you can’t be sure if they live here or not.

Tea was sangers again back in the van, and we spent a delightful two hours hugging, cuddling and sexing each other up. You can’t beat it.

Thursday 28^th August.

Up and roo feeding first thing this morning. We’d bought some more roo food from the carriage owner and used it to feed the tame creature that came right up to the door. It is a wonderful thing to have on your property. Apparently the roo we feed is the second generation of one the owner rescued.  Local news, on the radio, had a feature about a codger who had driven his car straight off the Blackwood River ferry in Augusta. They said the local newspaper would carry the pictures. If I ever do anything as stupid as this when I get to be an old codger you have my permission to shoot me. Still, the road is full of dozy old buggers who drive as fast as snails so they are safe! Safe you dozy buggers, from being murdered by the queue of irate drivers behind you? NO!

We spent the day in Busselton. Laura was in awe of the jetty. It is a sight for sore eyes, stretching away into the ocean, with a little train to ferry you to the far end. That was what we did and then walked back to the shore after spending an age down in the underwater observation centre, which is truly amazing. On the way out to the end we thought we saw some dolphins frolicking around and hoped we’d see them from the observatory but we didn’t. We walked the two levels down and looked and looked but they didn’t appear. The woman inside said there were a couple of pups out swimming with the pod somewhere so we were probably going to be luckier out where we’d spotted them from the jetty than down below. (We weren’t.)

Busselton reminds me of Rockingham without the islands off the coast. It is quite nice but a bit of identikit Australia really. We found a nice restaurant to have a sea food meal though and it even had Happs wine on its wine list. I had the tiger prawn dish and Laura went for the barramundi (she is developing a taste for it). After our repast we hit the shops and once again I collected a few little items for my goodie bags. They are going to be quite full when I’ve finished. We drove ourselves back to Dunsborough and walked along the beach there heading towards the rocky foreshore to the north and west. Guess what, we spotted more dolphins. They were in a smallish pod and must have been fishing for small fish by gathering them up into shoals and then guzzling their way through them. At least that’s what they looked like they were doing.

Back at the carriage we saw reports of the idiot driver and his blue Hyundai i30 having been driven into the river on the TV news. The reporters were far from deferential about the guy and his driving ability. We spent our final night of the trip having a look at all our photo’s and Laura’s bits of film, and collating the whole lot together on my lap top and then burning two DVDs of stuff. We parcelled them up and got then ready to post off to Sheffield (my Mum) and Tallentire (Laura’s Mum) in the morning. Despite having walked hardly anywhere really – 1.7 Km along the jetty and back isn’t far – I felt really tired and we must’ve been in bed by 10.30! Phew.